life Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Make Pulled Pork: A Guide For Unfussy Super Bowl Eaters
So the Super Bowl is here, and the internet has spent the past several weeks telling you that your game-watching experience will be a sad, dismal, disappointing failure unless it is accompanied by a veritable buffet-table of exotic culinary delights—Great catch, Boldin! Could somebody pass me anothe...

Virginia Tech's Kicker Pepper-Sprayed A Buffalo Wild Wings Last Week
"Stuff like this happens," Cody Journell said. And he's right. Who hasn't been in a restaurant pleasantly minding one's business only to have to rush outside all of a sudden because some dipshit suddenly released the trigger on a can of pepper spray? Like Journell said, it happens. He ought to know....

The Piggyback Bandit Has Struck Again
Sherwin Shayegan, aka the Piggyback Bandit, hasn't been seen or heard from since his summer star-turn, which culminated with this exhaustive account of his sad adventures by Grantland's Bryan Curtis. But earlier this week, Shayegan was back at it after a basketball game at a midwestern junior colleg...
![Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]
This is amazing. A slow-speed Los Angeles car chase that began as a DUI pursuit appears to have stalled, as the suspect sits in his car, filling up balloon after balloon from a canister, then inhaling the contents. He's surrounded by police with guns drawn....

2014 Super Bowl Host Committee Wonders Why Joe Flacco Dissed His Home State Of New Jersey
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Playing at MetLife Stadium is "retarded?" Why doesn't Flacco have any Jersey pride?...

Here's A Couple Soccer Fans Pretending To Hump Each Other Behind A Live Deadline Day Report On Sky Sports News
Ahh, Deadline Day. In the U.S., trade deadlines, while occasionally exciting, invite only boring coverage of executives answering telephones. Not so in the U.K., where live reports from outside the grounds of Premiership teams invite supporters and hooligans to gather 'round for the latest transfe...

Liquor Store Owner Shot In Eye During Robbery Says The Rock Beating CM Punk Ruined His Week
This has made the rounds a little, but it's new to us. The man in the video is Tom Dotterer, who's known around Syracuse, N.Y., as the 77-year-old baseball coach at Christian Brothers Academy and the longtime owner of Salina Liquors and Wine. He gained additional notoriety last week when he was sh...

How To Cook Lobster Tails: A Guide For People Who Don't Have Butlers To Do All The Work
Somewhere along the way, lobster became the symbol of gustatory luxury. You picture your stereotypical Person Of Means sitting down to a feast—me, I always picture olde-tymey plutocrats in top hats and tails, monocled, even the women and babies, because my experience of society's upper class begins ...

Here's A Woman Who Claims She's Dashon Goldson's Aunt Cursing And Screaming Incoherently On Live Television
Hat tip to ol' Diamond Joe on this one, from the NFC Championship Game postgame show today on KTTV, L.A.'s Fox affiliate. This segment was actually considerably longer than you see here, and includes several more minutes of ill-advised drunken fan interviews. But here's the best part: a woman clai...

How To Make Chicken Soup: A Guide For The Flu-Stricken, I.E., Every Goddamn One Of You
So you've got the flu; I've got the flu; your significant other and/or kids and/or parakeets have the flu; everybody's got the flu. One of the annoying things about the flu, after, y'know, the raging fever and the intractable body aches and the weakness and your pores turning into disgusting sweat-h...

The Dolphins Want Taxpayers To Help Them Renovate Sun Life Stadium
We called this one a couple of months ago, but the Dolphins and owner Stephen Ross made it official today—they want to make $400 million worth of renovations to Sun Life Stadium, and they want state and local governments to pay for some, possibly most of it....

Taste Test: The Portable Yogurt That Isn't
Go-Gurt's charmingly daft, hilariously unappetizing name implies its creation myth: the notion that, out there in the world, there were consumers who liked feeding their kids delicious, nutritious yogurt, but were frustrated by its cripplingly immobile nature—"I need a portable, on-the-go yogurt!" ...
![Here's An Easy Trick For Blocking All Bleacher Report Results From Your Google Searches [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18az2kwuroyzljpg.jpg)
Here's An Easy Trick For Blocking All Bleacher Report Results From Your Google Searches [UPDATE]
We've all been there: Googling for news on, say, RGIII's knee only to find 873 SEO-optimized posts from Bleacher Report crowding out actual information. Posts like these:...

Deadspin Nature Moment: Right Now, There Is A Hawk Hunting Rats Outside The Office
Craggs came back in and said there was a hawk outside, looking at the rats. He was flustered, because Craggs does not do well with nature. People followed him out onto the fire escape and there it was, perched on the fire escape of the Bowery House hotel behind our building, right beside a mop hung ...

How To Make Shrimp Linguine: A Guide For Lovers
Look. Wonderful as these foodstuffs are, it's not all pot roasts and chili and disturbingly alien holiday candies out there in the world of eating; nor should it be in your kitchen. Sometimes you're not looking to spend all day slow-cooking some large quantity of rich, meaty food to serve to a lot o...

Angry Cowboys Fan Fills Washing Machine With Explosives, Fires Rifle At It Just To Blow Up Tony Romo Jersey
Courtesy our friends over at the Dallas Observer, here's an example of the sort of responsible gun ownership we've come to expect from the Lone Star State. As a reaction to the Cowboys' disappointing season, one Dallas fan decided to "Get the shit off my Romo jersey" by sticking it in a washing ma...

The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
Originally published May 24, 2010....

Philly Motorist Finds Snow-Drawn Penis With His Parking Ticket
As anyone who's ever tried street-parking a car in Center City Philadelphia knows, the town's parking authority is notoriously efficient at issuing tickets. But one unlucky driver discovered earlier today that the ticket isn't always the biggest dick move....

How To Make A Bean Dip: A Guide For New Year's Eve Partygoers Who Are Getting Too Old For This Shit
One of the things that changes when you become a haggard, grayfaced grownup is how you spend New Year's Eve. When you were a hip, attractive, energetic young person, you spent the night traipsing between crowded, noisy bars, meeting interesting people and talking excitedly about your plans for the f...

How To Cook A Pot Roast: A Guide For People Who Want To Live, Dammit
Somewhere along the way, it got common to treat Christmas dinner like Thanksgiving II: This Time Without Turkey—like a big showpiece meal for which amateur cooks are meant to serve up some impressive exotic culinary masterpiece far outside the bounds of their humble repertoire of comfort foods. Take...