life Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Champions League Pitch Invader In Kiev May Have Cost His Team The Match
Today's UEFA Champions League action featured one of the more boneheaded Idiots On The Field we've seen of late. Following last week's Idiot who ran out onto the field during a live football play, this would-be soccer star rushed onto the pitch in Kiev during Dynamo's match against Porto—only to r...
The Brooklyn Nets' New Mascot Basically Has The Same Name As A Porn Star
When the Nets left New Jersey, they left their old mascot, Sly, a wolf or rabbit or something, in New Jersey, along with Shawne Williams and the ghost of Kerry Kittles. The arena is new, the location is new, the mascot is new: the Nets now have BrooklyKnight (spelled like that, pronounced "Brooklyn ...
How To Make Nachos: A Guide For The Daring
You go to a ballpark or amusement park or carnival and ask for some nachos, and you get a plastic tub with three compartments: a large one holding a fistful of tortilla chips, and smaller ones holding, respectively, molten cheese-food and a tablespoon of canned dog food that you are obliged to prete...
The Rock's Halloween Costume Is Better Than Everyone Else's
Frankly, we should've seen this one coming a long time ago. The Rock as the Hulk? Just about the most perfect Halloween costume known to mankind. There's no going back now....
Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]
WNBC later interviewed this gent, and we'll update when we can get video of what he had to say, but here he is on his personal watercraft, braving the hurricane-force waves. [WNBC]...
How To Improvise A Meal Out Of Whatever Crap You Have In Your Pantry: A Guide For Ill-Prepared Hurricane Shut-Ins
By now you’ve taken all the standard hurricane precautions—closing the drapes, double-checking to make sure you have an umbrella in your coat closet, duct-taping your pets to the walls, and so on—but you’re at a loss when it comes to the most important challenge of a natural disaster: what to do wit...
How To Eat Halloween Candy: A Guide And A Power Ranking For Sad Adults
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, ...
New York Policeman Arrested On Charges That He Planned To Slow-Roast Some Ladies
Well, this is pretty much the grossest thing. It happened in neither Florida nor Ohio, though. Rather, it unfolded in the nation's greatest city. Reports The New York Times:...
Metta World Peace Is Starring In A Lifetime Movie Written By Nancy Grace
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: This news should not surprise you in the least....
More Angry Voicemails: Crazy Self-Described "Lesbian On Top" Leaves Crazy Message
Ever get a phone call from someone that was wrong number and wonder if it wasn't a wrong number at all, that it was just some crazy person dialing random numbers so that they could hear someone's voice? Reader Sebastian knows the feeling:...
Tennessee Fan Is Latest To Take Advantage Of Live TV Camera And Pantomime Blowjobs
After we had our fun with the jackass who made blowjob pantomimes behind home plate of a Cubs game, we figured the days of televised fake fellatio were over. Not so, as we learned at Neyland Stadium tonight, as one young Vols fan had enough of ESPN's camera and decided to take matters into his ow...
Fan Runs Onto Field In The Middle Of Live Play During Florida State-Miami Game
Idiots On The Field tend to perform their antics during breaks in play; that's why security guards ring the baselines in between innings of baseball games, et cetera. Tonight's Idiot in Miami took things to a whole new level, though, rushing onto the field during a play in the first quarter of Fl...
What To Eat With The Best Hot Sauce In The World: A Guide For People Who Aren't Anti-Sriracha Bores
You ever been to a hot-sauce specialty shop? These are dimly lit little retail closets, typically in beachside vacation towns and the like, where you stare at shelves upon shelves of little hot-sauce bottles and have a chuckle at the menacingly hyperbolic product names and label imagery used to indi...
Sticking Your Head Out The Window Of A Moving Train Is Not A Good Idea
Because another train might pass in the other direction at that exact same moment. Which can be downright terrifying, in case you were wondering. Odd, isn't it? I always thought sticking your head out the window of a moving train just as another train passes in the other direction wouldn't be much...
When It Comes To America's Funniest Fantasy Football Team Names, Miller Lite Loves A Good Jerry Sandusky Reference
Honestly, I rarely pay attention to web advertising, but eagle-eyed tipster Patrick sends in this screenshot, which is compelling evidence that companies looking to push the boundaries of interactive ads might need to be a little more careful with their content. Miller Lite, apparently, is running s...
Trying To Do A Cannonball Into A Frozen Swimming Pool Is Not A Good Idea
That didn't stop this guy in Germany from giving it his best shot. "Fuck the fucking cold," he said, just before taking the, uh, plunge. The cold won....
The Many, Many Tweets Referring To Alex Rodriguez As "Fag," "Pussy," And "Gay-Rod"
Alex Rodriguez is both straight and male, but you wouldn't know it from the insults lobbed his way on Twitter over the past few days. Here are a few hundred examples....
How To Make French Toast: A Guide For People Who Are Not Insane
Let's make French toast!...
A Brawl In The Stands At A Canadian Lingerie Football League Game Involved A Shirtless Guy AND A Guy In A Gronk Jersey
What is there to do in moderate-sized cities in Canada's western provinces when there is no NHL hockey? (Remember, there is no NHL hockey. There is a lockout, as there has been for nearly a month now. The lockout will not end soon, because both sides are more concerned with rapping about ice surfa...
This Might Be The World's Most Ingenious Prank Phone Call
Reader John emailed me this week with this audio of a prank conference call he set up between two pizza joints. He explains his methodology thusly: ...