life Page 60 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...
The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....
The Time Has Come For America's Flight Attendants To Shut Up
I think we can all agree that the emcee-ization of America's flight attendants has grown steadily worse over the past decade. And today, reader Kurt has sent us (and Gawker) arguably the nadir of flight attendant pep talks. I must warn you in advance that these will be among the two most painfully a...
"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever
Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...
How To Crip Walk: A Guide To Serena Williams's Very American Gold Medal Celebration
Maybe you've heard that Serena Williams, the greatest female American tennis player of all time, did a controversial dance after winning gold in singles at the Olympics over the weekend....
This Steelers Fan Has A Memorial Sticker On His Car's Rear Window Dedicated To His Foreskin
I don't know if memorial car stickers are a thing elsewhere in the country, but they're popular in Florida. People here regularly attach vinyl stickers to their rear windows in tribute to a beloved who has passed away....
Superman, Drunk Girls, And <em>Life of Pi</em>: Let's Look At Some Movie Trailers!
In this installment of Trailer Hitch, our semi-regular rundown of the biggest recent movie trailers, I've got a superhero flick, a broad comedy, a couple Oscar contenders, and a dance movie. Who says Hollywood only caters to one type of audience? Also, I would love to meet the person who is really e...
Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....
Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...
Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, And Ryan Dempster Ate Pizza Together On The Wrigley Field Mound
Celebrities dropping by Wrigley Field to promote their latest piece of crap is nothing new, though we're not sure if tonight's stunt before the Marlins-Cubs game has ever been done before....
A Toothbrush-Wielding Red Sox Fan Was Ejected From Tropicana Field This Weekend
There are myriad ways to earn ejection from a major league ballpark, and most of them are punctuated by overconsumption of alcohol. That appears to be the cause of this incident from Saturday's Red Sox-Rays game in St. Pete, as a Red Sox fan quickly found herself parked outside after a bizarre int...
Read The Full Saga Of The Piggyback Bandit
Back in 2009, we wrote about the strange antics of Sherwin Shayegan, otherwise known as the Piggyback Bandit. Intrigued by Sherwin's story, the fine folks at Grantland sent Bryan Curtis on the bandit's trail in the hopes that some sense could be made of the man's obsession with piggyback rides....
How To Grill The Perfect Steak, According To John Madden And Three Actual Chefs
Picking a method for grilling steak is like picking the perfect fly to catch trout. It depends on who you ask. In thirty five years of writing about fishing many people have asked me what's the best fly? As expert fishermen have taught me, by successful example, the best fly is the one you catch fis...
A Nine-Year-Old Bet That Roger Federer Would Win Seven Wimbledons Just Paid Off For A Dead Gambler's Favorite Charity
Way back in 2003, the year Roger Federer won his first Grand Slam event at All England, a shut-in named Nick Newlife wrote to bookmaker William Hill, asking what kind of odds he could get on the young Swiss to win seven Wimbledon titles by 2019. It was a "unique" bet, one not even the legendarily fu...
Adults Brawl At Little League Game
Whether it's the woman repeatedly shrieking "what are you doing?!" or the man telling the other men who were just rolling around on the ground to "set an example, guys" or the other woman telling everyone to "show some class," this video taken at a little league game in Columbus, Georgia is a slic...
Cherry-Pit Spitting Contest Makes For Great Copy
This is a great article for a sweaty Saturday evening. It's short, sweet and absolutely absurd. Let's start with the headline:...
How To Burp Like A World Champ In 5 Steps, Featuring Competitive Eater And Burping World Champ Tim Janus
The results from the 2011 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest tell us that Tim "Eater X" Janus is the third-best hot-dog eater in the world. He owns world records for speed-eating burritos, sushi, and ramen noodles....
!["It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17rafso5oxas7jpg.jpg)
"It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]
Well, now. Yesterday, The Washingtonian passed along the glorious details of the shitshow civil suit being brought against Redskins tight end Fred Davis by a woman who's accused of being a "pimpette." Long story short: Davis allegedly poured an entire pitcher of juice on the woman's head, and the wo...
This Video Of An Old Crimson Tide Fan Lip-Synching "Call Me Maybe" Is The Most Discomforting Thing Ever
From tipster William, with whom we will be forever angry with due to what he has exposed us to, comes the above video. The video depicts an elderly gentleman lip-synching to "Call Me Maybe," which is A Thing on YouTube these days, but this version goes beyond "Oh man this song is so stupid and ann...
Throbbing Pipes And Pussy By The Can: Scenes From Laconia Bike Week
It is never truly silent during Laconia Bike Week. Even when you're far from the Finger Eleven or Nickelback songs playing at Weirs Beach (the heart of the event), or from the profanity dropping out of the mouths of bearded dudes with skin almost as leathery as the vests they're wearing, there is st...