life Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....
If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...
Big Fan Chad McGhee Wants You Join Him To Watch The Knox City Greyhounds Reach For Football Immortality
Much has changed for Chad McGhee since he was hereby nominated for consideration as the biggest high-school football fan in the history of the game. ...
Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League
Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a...
The NFL "Fineable Offenses" List, As Interpreted By The Underpant Gnomes
Apparently, the National Football League distributed its "list of fineable offenses" to players and others today. Tweeted Vikings kicker Chris Kluwe, "Some scallywag decided to condense the list down," a comment accompanied by photography....
Let's Watch Cowboys In Police Cars Try To Lasso An Escaped Bull
"We've had wildlife in the city before, but I don't remember a bull being downtown and you're right ... we were concerned for the bull and for citizens' safety." — Mike Hirman, Auburn (WA) Police Department [WJBF]...
Why Did A Dodgers Employee Make A Happy Kid Hand Over A Foul Ball Today? (UPDATED)
We all know times are tight for the Dodgers franchise. But there's only one person who knows why a kid who retrieved a foul ball during the sixth inning of today's game against the Phillies was forced to part with a lifelong souvenir. The world demands answers, mean Dodgers employee who probably h...
This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field
Perhaps one is free to leave trash under one's seat at movie theaters or stadiums: popcorn, Pepsi, (Neifi) Perez memorabilia—but we ought to draw the line well short of endometrial cells....
There Was A Nude Rugby Match With A Blind Referee In New Zealand Yesterday (NSFW)
The lede of the Western Australian's story about yesterday's 8th annual nude rugby tournament match between the Nude Blacks and a Fijian International side states, "Ball skills and a lot of tackle were the order of the day as New Zealand clashed with Fiji in a game of nude rugby in Dunedin."...
Lamar Odom, Just Involved In An Accident That Killed A 15-Year-Old, Is Spokesman For "Life Insurance Awareness Month"
Per the website of LIFE Foundation: A Non-Profit Organization, "beginning in August, [Lamar] Odom's story will be broadcast nationally in TV and radio public service announcements (PSAs). The PSAs will also be available on LIFE's website during the September campaign at www.lifehappens.org. Include...
Today In Great Mugshots
Meet Tammy Hinton, a 53-year-old gal who police were trying to track down for three years on an identity-theft warrant. Somebody narked that she'd be back in Michigan for her wedding. So, Johnny Law swooped down on the City of Zion Ministries accordingly....
Mike Quade Supports A Heliocentric Universe
The moon orbits the earth. The earth orbits the sun. As for what the sun orbits....nobody knows. But on this sunny afternoon at Wrigley Field, a place they tend to play a lot of day baseball, the sun got in Starlin Castro's eyes....
The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...
When Life Gave An Elderly Pervert A Lemonade Stand, He "Repeatedly Rubbed His Breast And Groin"
Sweet Christ, did a 79-year-old convicted sex offender from Somers Point, NJ really approach a lemonade stand across the street from the police station and get all self-grabby in front of three young girls, none of whom were older than 14?...
Let's Take A Dip In The Hillbilly Hot Tub
Pure genius knows no socioeconomic-status limitations. Ergo, filling the bed of a pickup truck with water and getting driven around the Kentucky Speedway Campgrounds so you can booze and/or whoop it up in comfort meets every standard of brilliance imaginable....
In His Latest Meltdown, Jose Canseco Decided To Publicize His Girlfriend's Phone Number, Drug Of Choice
What started with Jose Canseco's Thursday announcement that "I am asking leila shennib to marry me .will you marry me" has somehow gone off the rails. Imagine that....
Watch A Blue Jays Reliever And Manager Get Ejected On The Day Roy Halladay Returned To Toronto's Mound
Your morning roundup for July 3, the day after some baby gators proved a mud hole is better than any stop, drop and roll mantra....
The Girl With The OKC Thunder Tattoo Wants To Bear Kendrick Perkins's Babies
Here, Priscilla and Ashley discuss, or at least make reference to, the Mavericks/Thunder series, manners, personal space(s), sweat flavor, stalking Awful Joey Crawford and whether inking prevents pregnancy, while Priscilla or Ashley gets "Thunder Up!" and "Rise Together" tattoos added to her inner...
Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...
Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
When you don't know all but one of your teammates, and your team has yet to play a game, it's probably best not to try to hijack the process of designing a team t-shirt. If you do try to hijack the design process—"I'd suggest some muted colors, like maroon/beige/forest green/wine"—and people get ann...