lifes-rich-pageant - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Runaway Airport Supply Truck Getting JACKED UPDue to the ongoing wussification of American culture at the hands of liberal snowflakes, crunching, destructive hits have mostly been pulled out of highlight packages, if not out of sports altogether. Gone are the days when you could look forward to Tom Jackson and Michael Irvin cackling sadisticall...

Vacation Home Beset By Legion Of Barfing And Shitting VulturesBehold the Palm Beach vacation home that was recently purchased for $702,000, and behold the great many winged beasts who have shat and barfed their way to becoming the home’s true lords and masters:...

In A Twist, Bengals Player Embarrassed By Fan's CrimePolice in Florence, Kentucky, are searching for a man allegedly stole a case of beer from a store. At the time, he was barefoot and wore a Bengals jersey, so be on the lookout for a guy who really hates shoes and loudly talks about how happy he is that Marvin Lewis is gone....

Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today

The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...

How The Milwaukee Bucks And A Former Wedding DJ Won The T-Shirt Cannon Arms Race

There’s an arms race of sorts now taking place in sports arenas. Hence, the Quad....

Dennis Rodman Accused Of Stealing, Destroying Yoga Studio's 400-Pound Amethyst Crystal

Having personally brokered peace for all time between the U.S. government and North Korea, basketball Hall of Famer and all-around goof Dennis Rodman spends his time nowadays, among other things, being accused of stealing 400-pound amethyst crystals from Orange County, California yoga studios....

Conquering The Carolina Reaper Requires Self-Deceit, Milk, And A Lot Of Barf

In the same way strip malls pipe in the smell of luxury, the NYC Hot Sauce Expo must pipe in the smell of pain. The ambient tang of hot sauce greets every visitor at the door. How the mere consumption and sale of hot sauce could suffuse a huge, high-ceilinged space with its odor defies explanation. ...

Robert Kraft Is The Silent Center Of The NFL Meetings

PHOENIX — The NFL’s owners are gathered at a fancypants resort here for their annual league meetings. On the agenda are numerous proposals for rules changes, and this morning was the breakfast at which the head coaches got hit with rapid-fire questions for an hour before reporters tore into the buff...