“We were fucking so hard and I head-butted her in the head.”

Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper spray into his own…

Monday night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un joined a historic summit with Donald Trump, a sleazy failed businessman turned sleazy reality television star turned sleazy opportunistic Republican turned President of the United States, and I mean to tell you we haven’t even gotten to the truly psychedelic part of this…

Nearly a year later, footage of one man’s bold, very illegal joyride through Missouri’s basketball stadium has been made public. It does not disappoint.

Baseball is Ye Olde American Pastime, old enough to have developed its own language and customs and conventions. For example, everyone who follows baseball knows that “7.1 innings” should be understood to mean “seven-and-a-third innings,” even though that’s not at all how decimals work. You could reject that shorthand…

A 36-year-old woman named Bridget DePriest has been arrested by Kansas City police and charged with trespassing and open burning after she allegedly set several fires on the Kauffman Stadium grass. DePriest was caught by a ballpark security guard around 4:30 a.m. on Wednesday, after he shined a flashlight and saw her…

It’s a story as old as time: A man was taking poops where he wasn’t supposed to, and his neighbors have caught him in an elaborate sting operation by hiding in the bushes with a camera.

A passenger on a Frontier Airlines flight from Denver to Charleston, S.C. Thursday was arrested and charged after he touched his female seatmate, was moved to a different part of the cabin, and then peed all over himself while still seated.

Rhodes College beat Franklin College 4-2 on the opening day of D-III regionals today, but it wasn’t without a ninth inning pitching performance that gave new meaning to the phrase “gutting it out.”

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left.

The chamber of commerce in Georgia’s Douglas County holds an annual charity cornhole tournament, the point of which is to raise money for a local scholarship fund. This year, that tournament also served as a place for some husky men in shorts to throw haymakers at each other.

Hundreds of people attended the annual March for Immigrant and Workers’ Rights in Seattle yesterday. They were met by a counter-protest organized by the Proud Boys, a far-right organization for sad white men. That should be all the context you need to enjoy this video:

Today we can add ESPN to the fraternity of organizations that has seen its employees thrust into a reply allpocalypse. Witness now some of their journey into the hellish depths.

Here are the facts: Sri Lanka recently became one of the latest countries to launch a show in Simon Cowell’s Got Talent! series, which is aptly called Sri Lanka’s Got Talent!; Sudarshana Deshappriya is someone who has Got Talent, martial arts talent to be specific; Deshappriya ran into some painful-looking trouble…

Guy in a Frozen costume pushing a police van out of the snow.

Welcome back to Deadspin Nature Moment, an irregular feature in which we share various goings-on from the natural world with our readers.

One of the many odd sidebars to the Trump presidency has been seeing what happens when an unsocialized puff pastry who has lived his entire life in an environment custom-built to nurture his weirdest impulses is suddenly asked to do the sort of ceremonial normal things presidents are supposed to do. These are the…

Stealing packages seems like a scummy, straightforward two-person operation: One briskly walks up to the house, while the other keeps the car running. This one on Friday quickly fell apart due to an unforeseen variable: wet grass.

Anyone monitoring Philadelphia’s reaction to the Super Bowl-bound Eagles has presumably seen the video of the guy in the Brian Dawkins jersey running into a pillar. That instant classic of the Idiot Gets Hurt genre was shot from inside the subway train, and is now joined by a companion piece—an alternate angle shot…