lifes-rich-pageant Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Virginia Tech's Kicker Pepper-Sprayed A Buffalo Wild Wings Last Week
"Stuff like this happens," Cody Journell said. And he's right. Who hasn't been in a restaurant pleasantly minding one's business only to have to rush outside all of a sudden because some dipshit suddenly released the trigger on a can of pepper spray? Like Journell said, it happens. He ought to know....

The Piggyback Bandit Has Struck Again
Sherwin Shayegan, aka the Piggyback Bandit, hasn't been seen or heard from since his summer star-turn, which culminated with this exhaustive account of his sad adventures by Grantland's Bryan Curtis. But earlier this week, Shayegan was back at it after a basketball game at a midwestern junior colleg...
![Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]
This is amazing. A slow-speed Los Angeles car chase that began as a DUI pursuit appears to have stalled, as the suspect sits in his car, filling up balloon after balloon from a canister, then inhaling the contents. He's surrounded by police with guns drawn....

Here's A Couple Soccer Fans Pretending To Hump Each Other Behind A Live Deadline Day Report On Sky Sports News
Ahh, Deadline Day. In the U.S., trade deadlines, while occasionally exciting, invite only boring coverage of executives answering telephones. Not so in the U.K., where live reports from outside the grounds of Premiership teams invite supporters and hooligans to gather 'round for the latest transfe...

Liquor Store Owner Shot In Eye During Robbery Says The Rock Beating CM Punk Ruined His Week
This has made the rounds a little, but it's new to us. The man in the video is Tom Dotterer, who's known around Syracuse, N.Y., as the 77-year-old baseball coach at Christian Brothers Academy and the longtime owner of Salina Liquors and Wine. He gained additional notoriety last week when he was sh...

Here's A Woman Who Claims She's Dashon Goldson's Aunt Cursing And Screaming Incoherently On Live Television
Hat tip to ol' Diamond Joe on this one, from the NFC Championship Game postgame show today on KTTV, L.A.'s Fox affiliate. This segment was actually considerably longer than you see here, and includes several more minutes of ill-advised drunken fan interviews. But here's the best part: a woman clai...

Angry Cowboys Fan Fills Washing Machine With Explosives, Fires Rifle At It Just To Blow Up Tony Romo Jersey
Courtesy our friends over at the Dallas Observer, here's an example of the sort of responsible gun ownership we've come to expect from the Lone Star State. As a reaction to the Cowboys' disappointing season, one Dallas fan decided to "Get the shit off my Romo jersey" by sticking it in a washing ma...

Philly Motorist Finds Snow-Drawn Penis With His Parking Ticket
As anyone who's ever tried street-parking a car in Center City Philadelphia knows, the town's parking authority is notoriously efficient at issuing tickets. But one unlucky driver discovered earlier today that the ticket isn't always the biggest dick move....

Here Is A Gif Of Wade Boggs Attempting To Dance At Last Night's Oklahoma City Thunder Game
We're not sure why Wade Boggs decided to drop by last night's Spurs-Thunder game, but we're glad he did. In the fourth quarter, just before a Russell Westbrook free throw, the Fox Sports Oklahoma cameras found the baseball Hall of Famer in the stands—after which he boogied a bit in his seat....

Here's A Lady Pantomiming A Double Blowjob At The Celtics Game Last Night
The Celtics beat the Mavericks last night in double overtime, but it's safe to say that the most important thing to happen during the game took place in the third quarter, during a timeout: this unhappy-looking woman pretended to give a double blowjob for some reason....

Police Have To Use Tear Gas To Subdue Fighting Fans At Wheelchair Basketball Game
Throw out the records when Turkey's Galatasary and Besiktas get together to play wheelchair basketball. They're "bitter rivals," according to Euronews, and their game over the weekend was marred by a fans' brawl that forced police to use tear gas and to make at least 10 arrests....

Florida State Fan Learns The Hard Way What Happens When You Use A Mirror To Put On Your Face Paint
Go Seminoles! Beat the srotaG! Paint your face like a champion today, or something. (It's a good game, you should be watching it.)...

Last Night's NFL Broadcast Featured A Lot Of Jets Fans Who Were Pissed Off, Ridiculously Dressed, Or Both
Perhaps you heard the Jets lost last night in rather hilarious fashion. The Patriots beat New York up, down, sideways, and into dimensions not yet discovered or even imagined. The result? A lot of sad Jets fans, many of whom put on their finest in turkeyhat millinery just for the occasion. Here are...

The Washington State Fan Chugging Fireball Whisky At Saturday's Game Deserves Our Acclaim
Fireball is a so-called "cinnamon whisky." You can tell it comes from Canada because the word whisky is missing an "e" and they don't adulterate their whisky in Scotland....

Yep, That's A "Baltimore Fuckin' Maryland" T-Shirt On CBS
It's America's most-watched network for a reason. Coming up at the half, it's Shannon, Boomer, and the others with the fuckin' Verizon halftime report. [CBS]...

Champions League Pitch Invader In Kiev May Have Cost His Team The Match
Today's UEFA Champions League action featured one of the more boneheaded Idiots On The Field we've seen of late. Following last week's Idiot who ran out onto the field during a live football play, this would-be soccer star rushed onto the pitch in Kiev during Dynamo's match against Porto—only to r...

The Brooklyn Nets' New Mascot Basically Has The Same Name As A Porn Star
When the Nets left New Jersey, they left their old mascot, Sly, a wolf or rabbit or something, in New Jersey, along with Shawne Williams and the ghost of Kerry Kittles. The arena is new, the location is new, the mascot is new: the Nets now have BrooklyKnight (spelled like that, pronounced "Brooklyn ...

The Rock's Halloween Costume Is Better Than Everyone Else's
Frankly, we should've seen this one coming a long time ago. The Rock as the Hulk? Just about the most perfect Halloween costume known to mankind. There's no going back now....
![Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]
WNBC later interviewed this gent, and we'll update when we can get video of what he had to say, but here he is on his personal watercraft, braving the hurricane-force waves. [WNBC]...

New York Policeman Arrested On Charges That He Planned To Slow-Roast Some Ladies
Well, this is pretty much the grossest thing. It happened in neither Florida nor Ohio, though. Rather, it unfolded in the nation's greatest city. Reports The New York Times:...