lifes-rich-pageant Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Australian MP's Brain Goes On Short, Strange Journey
Australia has been recently gripped by a heated debate over whether same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. Last week, the majority of Australians voted to legalize same-sex marriage, which apparently caused MP Bob Katter, who had previously opposed the legalization of gay marriage, to soften h...
Ohio Supreme Court Justice Bill O'Neill Wants You To Know He Has Fucked
The last time we saw Ohio Supreme Court Justice and prolific Facebook user Bill O’Neill around these parts, he was taking the “draft dodging millionaires” of the Cleveland Browns to task for kneeling during the national anthem. O’Neill is self-evidently a man of many passions, but mostly he loves to...
Self-Proclaimed Lotto Winner Yet To Pay $7.5 Million He Promised To Junior Hockey Team
Last month, various Canadian news outlets featured a heartwarming story about a local man giving back to his community. A British Columbia man named Mike Gould had promised to donate $7.5 million to the Kimberly Dynamiters, a local junior hockey team. The donation was announced before a game on Octo...
Possibly Josh Beckett Does Not Understand The Concept Of Stage Diving
Former World Series MVP Josh Beckett was reportedly arrested in Texas after he jumped on stage and flattened the lead singer of a country band at an open-mic night performance, according to TMZ:...
Miami Fan Charged With Felony Battery After Getting Slugged By Cop
The drunken Miami Hurricanes fan seen getting knocked out by a punch from a Miami-Dade police officer while being carried out of yesterday’s Virginia Tech-Miami game is now being charged with felony battery on a police officer, according to an Associated Press report....
The NFL's Stupid Pizza Wars Were Always Coming
Before he was installed by the electoral college as Supreme Grand Primate Of THE GREAT UNRAVELING, Donald Trump was just one of the more poignant accounts on Twitter. There was nothing sympathetic about him, really, because there has never been anything sympathetic about him. He has been the same wa...
Oh Yeah, And There Was An Idiot On The Field
As I write this the score is tied at 12 and it’s still the ninth inning. Will there be more? Who knows. Here’s an incident that happened who cares ago back when the score was who can remember to who gives a shit. A half-naked man wearing star-spangled shorts rushed the field and briefly escaped secu...
Colorado Springs Police Beg Us To Stop Calling About The Mad Pooper, Who Is Still At Large
The Colorado Springs Police Department’s public information officer audibly sighed into the phone Monday as he told me, again, that there were still no updates on the hunt for the Mad Pooper, the feculent jogger who has been terrorizing the city....
Patriots Fans Gather To Burn Their Stuff
I want you to try and imagine what an aggrieved Patriots fan who is so mad about some of New England’s players kneeling for the national anthem that he threw a party for other aggrieved Patriots fans to come and burn their Pats gear might look like. Okay, do you have the image in your head?...
Extremely Dedicated Shark Bites Man, Refuses To Let Go
Ervin Maccarty suffered through a rather unique shark attack earlier this month—one in which the shark just would not let the hell go of him. With the small nurse shark attached to his stomach, he climbed back on his boat off the coast of Florida, where his friends tried to help him. Some choice quo...
Packers Fan Suing Bears Gets On Soldier Field In Atlanta Falcons Jersey
The Packers and Bears resume the oldest rivalry in professional football tomorrow night, with the Bears visiting Lambeau Field for the teams’ 195th meeting. (The series, amazingly, is currently tied 94-94-6.) One man who will be in attendance for the game is Russell Beckman....
A Jogger Dubbed The "Mad Pooper" Is Terrorizing Colorado Springs<em></em>
There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge poop...
Idiot On The Field Slips Several Tackles Before Being Detained By His Own Lack Of A Vertical
Here’s a dipshit invading the field in Houston tonight, as is the Idiot’s way. He dodges a few tackles but finds his path blocked by the very low right field wall; it’s still too tall for his limited leaping ability (though it looks like that might be an usher playing defense on him). ...
The Texas A&M Regent Who Called For Kevin Sumlin's Firing Spent $600K On A Bigass Tank
Remember Tony Buzbee, the lawyer on the Texas A&M Board of Regents who recently called for Kevin Sumlin to be fired? He just blew a “little over $600,000" on an M4 Sherman tank that was used during World War II....
Matt McGloin’s Brother Calls One Eagles Beat Writer Fat, Another Poor
When the Eagles pulled Carson Wentz in last night’s preseason game, Philly fans did what they do best: Booed. It wasn’t anything in particular against the team’s current backup, Matt McGloin. Fans just wanted to see Wentz....
Yankees Fans Enjoy Subway Ride [NSFW]
Being a sports fan isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and when the team you root for fails to give you the joy and pleasure you’re after, sometimes you have to look for alternate avenues for good sensations. Hence these two Yankees fans coming together in sexual congress on the 5 train after the Yanks...
Good News: This Avocado-Wielding Bodega Assailant Is Actually Not An Independent-League Baseball Player
If you enjoy news about avocados, daily life in the Bronx, or unorthodox objects used as weaponry—or any combination of the above—you’re likely familiar with the video clip below. It shows two men attacking a bodega worker by throwing avocados at him, breaking his jaw and leaving him with cuts acros...
Motodoping Italian Cyclist Gives Wild Interview, Says Haters Are Jealous Because He's Rich
Over the weekend, Italian officials popped a 53-year-old masters rider for racing with a hidden motor in his bicycle. Race organizers got a tip that the third-place rider at a race in Brescia on Saturday had been cheating and when they scanned his bike, they saw what looked like “a fire” in the seat...
Things Anthony Scaramucci Said In The Interview Where He Talked About Steve Bannon Sucking His Own Cock, Ranked<em></em>
Anthony Scaramucci, a finance guy or something who doesn’t seem to understand anything about being a press flack, called the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza last night and ethered every one of his White House enemies in one of the greatest and most surreal interviews in American political history. Here are ...