lifes-rich-pageant Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Guy With Garbage Can Upsets Guy With Machete In Street Fight
The Deadspin staff spent about half an hour analyzing this street fight, which DNAinfo has generously gifted to the world. The fight happened at 6:50 a.m. today on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and it has a stunning outcome....

Cowboys Receiver's Missing Dog Returned By Rapper Boogotti Kasino
Yesterday, Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead alerted the world to the fact that his adorable dog, Blitz, had been stolen from his home and was being held for ransom. Blitz was safely returned last night, but not before falling into the hands of a local rapper named Boogotti Kasino, who vehementl...

Red Sox Fan Accused Of Trying To Frame The Left With Very Lame Anti-Trump Graffiti
A Connecticut man wearing a Red Sox shirt was caught on camera defacing signs at a school playground with anti-Trump graffiti in June—but after being caught, he admitted to police he supported Trump and was trying to make the “Left” look bad....

Man Facing Death Penalty Attends Sentencing Hearing In Tony Romo Jersey
David Ferrara of the Las Vegas Review-Journal today shared the story of Thomas Randolph, recently convicted of two counts of first-degree murder for the deaths of his wife and the man he hired to kill her, who attended today’s sentencing hearing wearing a brand new Tony Romo jersey:...

Crazy Bastard Dives Into Water To Catch A Shark With His Bare Hands
Nothing like an idle summer day spent swimming in the bay with friends. But it’s not a truly memorable hang until a small shark shows up to send everyone scurrying back to the docks, followed by some dude just deciding to dive in and grab the little beast:...

UFC Fighter Appears To Shit Herself While Getting Choked Out
Russian-American kickboxing specialist Justine Kish squared up with UFC veteran Felice Herrig in Oklahoma City during tonight’s UFC Fight Night event. Herrig won in a unanimous decision, although the previously undefeated Kish did an admirable job of wriggling out of a rear naked choke late in the t...

Packers Fan Suing The Bears: “This Is Not Some Noble Crusade”
Monday night, I wrote about the lawsuit a Packers fan had filed against the Bears. Russell Beckman, a Wisconsin resident who is also a Bears season ticket holder, is suing the team because, he claims, they prevented him from going on the field in his Packers gear....

Neighbors Are Hell
When I was a young kid we knew all the names of pretty much everybody in our whole little neighborhood. The kids were a pack; in the summer, when your parents kicked you out of the house after breakfast—everybody did this—you just found the other kids and skulked around until somebody came up with ...

An Injured NFL Player Led To A Timeless TV Blooper
On Sept. 9, 2007, Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett put his head down as he tackled Denver Broncos returner Domenik Hixon. Everett suffered severe injuries to his neck and spine and was paralyzed; doctors weren’t sure the then-25-year-old would walk again. Eventually, the NFL player recovered an...

Please Enjoy This Extremely English Politician's Awkward Campaign Ad<em></em>
I’m not quite sure what to say about this campaign ad recently released by Greg Knight, a Tory MP representing East Yorkshire. Consider that Knight told the press “I never aspired to be an Alan Partridge” after it went viral; consider that he did so because, to a first approximation, every single ou...

Maybe Being A Celebrity Isn't Cool
You might think being famous seems like a good time, partly because it is cool to be rich and adored and partly because you get to hang out with other famous people. “Look at that sweet pic of those famous people laughing and having a ball together! I wish I was them!” you think while looking at a s...

Is This The First Time Allen Iverson Has Ever Heard "White Iverson"?
You’re familiar with Allen Iverson, but you may not be familiar with Post Malone, a rapper whose first hit single is called “White Iverson.” Last night, Malone and Iverson met for what appears to be the first time, which was big news for Malone’s fanbase, which I assume mostly consists of dirtbag wh...

Fox News Pays Tribute To Roger Ailes By Putting The Worst Possible Shit On TV Today
The Fox News Specialists, the new Fox program that gave the world Joe Namath yakking about Syria with Karl Rove, has blessed us again. Yapping cheshire cat and First Take host Stephen A. Smith linked up with apartheid apologist Ted Nugent on another edition of the show this afternoon, and the two sp...

Kid At Pirates Game Enjoys Whatever’s In That Beer Can
This is great. Last night, the Pirates’ broadcast touted Sunday’s kids day, where all fans 14 and under in attendance would be given a free baseball glove. To go along with the promotion, the broadcast showed kids in the stands....

Vladimir Putin, In Full Hockey Gear, Comments On Trump's Firing Of James Comey
Russian President Vladimir Putin sometimes entertains himself by getting decked out in hockey gear and forcing other people to skate around him and pretend to play defense while he scores a bunch of goals. He did that in Sochi today, but before taking the ice he was confronted by a CBS reporter who ...

An Interview With A Man In A Unicorn Mask Who Raced 10 Miles Carrying An Anti-Fox News Sign
Today is Philadelphia’s annual Broad Street Run, the largest 10-mile road race in the country. It’s a straight shot down a relatively downhill street, which means a lot of people run it in costumes. Forrest Gump is popular, as is Rocky Balboa. Today I saw runners dressed as the Founding Fathers, Pow...

An Interview With A Man Who Has Willingly Watched Every Round Of Every NFL Draft Since 1999
Ron Adams and I were juniors in high school when the Philadelphia sports world was consumed by the 1999 NFL Draft. Who would the Eagles take with the No. 2 pick: Ricky Williams or Donovan McNabb?...

High School Baseball Coach Arrested For Allegedly Choking Student Unconscious While Demonstrating MMA Moves
Lloyd Kevin Smith, the varsity baseball coach at Indian River Central School in upstate New York, was arrested on charges of child endangerment last Friday for a locker room demonstration that accidentally went too far....

Does This Look Like The Reincarnation Of Lou Gehrig To You?<em></em>
You’ve spoken to a toddler, or at least know enough about children to imagine what speaking to a toddler might be like. You understand that a 2-year-old child, because his brain is still developing and he is just starting to experiment with language, is liable to say some dumb things. A toddler migh...

Here Are Two Very Good Turtles<em></em>
At 6:32 p.m. EDT, Deadspin received a tip from reader Brad, subject line “I like turtles.” He promised a video of his aunt’s turtles, and boy did he deliver....