lifespin Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Irish Beers, Ranked
St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glit...
Let's Try Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations, A Dessert-Flavored Dessert
Remember ice cream? Oh man, ice cream. There are so many wonderful things to remember about ice cream, but first and foremost—more than the carnival of flavors and colors; the various zany, luxurious toppings and swirls; the fun presentations (Sundae! Banana split! Ice cream cone! Ice cream cak...
How To Get Your Kid's Marker Stains Out Of The Goddamn Couch
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
Please Stop Glorifying Crummy Dive Bars
I live in Massachusetts, which is a proud but anxious state with liberal policies regarding who can get married or call his roast beef famous and very conservative rules concerning most other types of personal behavior. For example, it's a lot harder than you'd think to get a drink around here....
The Art Of The Insult: How To Win A Swearing Contest With Dignity
A few years ago, Joe Posnanski—formerly a Kansas City sportswriter, and today famous as a JoePa apologist—interviewed me about one of my books and posted my answers on his blog. He asked me whether, if I'd become a major league pitcher, I still would have become a writer. I emailed, "No. I would hav...
How To Cook Sea Scallops Without Ruining Them: The Case Against Bacon
Step one is hiring a sinister shifty-eyed fellow with a pencil mustache to remove the bacon from your refrigerator and hide it somewhere in your home where you cannot find it. OK, so he does not have to have a pencil mustache. But it will be awesomer if he does....
24 Light Beers, Ranked
Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough....
How To Make Chocolate Pudding, Grown-Up Food For Grownups
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner this week is longtime friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
One Weird Old Trick To Remove White Water Stains From Wood
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
How To Prevent Your Spine From Turning To Mush
Hey, you! Mr. Spry Twenty-Five-Year-Old! Feeling pretty limber these days, eh? Going out and CRUSHING beers and playing campus golf and bending over to pick up entire crates of taco meat. Life's pretty swell for you! Well, I have fun news for you, sport. PAIN IS COMING. So much pain. One day...
How To Make A Simple Goddamn Grilled-Cheese Sandwich
Everywhere we are gussying up our grilled-cheese sandwiches. In fancy restaurants and home kitchens and delicatessens and those insufferable quasi-fast-food joints with the accented, ambiguously Euro names and the friggin' Ray LaMontagne music on the PA and the cutesy, bottled alterna-soda in the co...
Help! My Girlfriend's Hair Is Everywhere!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
You're Eating It Wrong: Chicken Wings
Yesterday we taught you how to make wings for your Super Bowl party, but now the big day is here, and, holy shit, how do I eat these things? The answer: Not how you've been doing it, weirdo!...
How To Make Wings, Instead Of Letting The Pizza Dude Do It For You
So the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and just as Super Bowl viewership is essentially non-optional for Americans who do not wish to be regarded with open suspicion by their acquaintances and coworkers, the provision of chicken wings is essentially non-optional for Super Bowl party hosts who do not wish to...
13 Drinks To Get You Through The Worst Month Of The Year
Did any of you wasters (pretend to) go alcohol-free in January? I know Jolie did, and I considered joining her, because I'm a big proponent of limiting your gross booze intake any way you can. Obviously year-round moderation is the best way to do it, but many of us just aren't wired that way, nor do...
How To Make Risotto, The Foodstuff Of Love
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner this week is longtime friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
What Can I Do About This Ring Around The Collar?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
11 Shots Of Liquor, Reconsidered
Good afternoon! Let me tell you how to run your wedding. Just kidding, no one cares about your wedding. Now, back to my wedding: We sprung for the all-you-can-guzzle beer and wine buffet, but we didn't serve hard liquor. This is partly because we're cheapskates and partly because we're sane—the rece...
Our Month Without Booze Is Past The Midpoint. Shit's Getting Real.
Week Three. The Wall. We warned you that Week Three would be the hardest. The novelty of Drynuary definitely wears off by now, boredom creeps in with a vengeance, and somehow you have to negotiate the interminable two weeks between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl without your fav...
How To Cook Chicken Cutlets, And Give Yourself A Reason To Keep Living
These are dark times, friends. Literally! It's dark as hell all the time, because it is winter, and everything is polar vortices and bitter bullying winds and frostbite and uncontrollable sobbing and making a fort out of couch cushions and hiding inside the fort shrouded in sweaters and jackets an...