lionel-messi Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Copa América Has Been A Horrible Mess So Far
We’re through the first round of group stage games in the 2019 Copa América, and there’s really only one thing we know for sure: this tournament is total ass. The first six matches have been plagued by blowouts, VAR nonsense, and all the usual CONMEBOL-flavored bullshit. This isn’t a bug, but rather...
Liverpool Couldn't Finish, And Now They Are (Probably) Finished
Liverpool were the better team. That might feel impossible after a game that saw Lionel Messi ruin the nights of millions of already angry Scousers, but it’s true. Through 90 minutes at a hostile Camp Nou, Liverpool shook off a hesitant start and brought the game to the Spanish champions, keeping Ba...
Old Man Messi's Still Got It
If you wanted evidence of time’s inevitable erosion of even the most resistant of talents, you would’ve found it just before halftime of today’s Barcelona-Liverpool Champions League semifinal. It was then that Lionel Messi intercepted a backpass just past the halfway line, found himself essentially ...
Is Lionel Messi The One True God? An Expert Weighs In
The true identity of God has been a subject of much fascination and debate since the beginning of time. The Christian Bible contends that Jesus Christ is God. Old Dirty Bastard believed it was The Black Man. Others say God is actually Argentine soccer star Lionel Messi. Pope Francis, a man intimatel...
Lionel Messi Slows Down Time, Scores Free Kick
It looks so damn easy to stop, this latest entry into Lionel Messi’s lightyear-long highlight reel. The free kick from just outside the box hangs in the air for an eternity, seemingly giving the goalie, or a defender, or a fan sitting at the top of the upper deck ample time to track the ball, move t...
What Is Lionel Messi Worth To Argentina?
There is a simple, financial answer to the question posed in the headline of this article: Lionel Messi is reportedly worth €450,000 per contractually-arranged international friendly. That is how much the Argentinian Football Federation (AFA) lost out on after Messi’s recent groin injury kept him ou...
Lionel Messi's Hat Trick Inspired Opposing Supporters To Give Him A Standing Ovation
Lionel Messi doesn’t have to keep showing his greatness to us mere mortals, but he does so anyway out of the kindness of his heart. His latest act of generosity came against Real Betis where he scored an incredible hat trick in a 4-1 victory for his 477th win in a Barcelona shirt—a new club record....
Nobody Benefits From Lionel Messi Returning To Argentina's National Team
After more than eight months away from the national team, during which time it wasn’t clear if he would play for his country ever again after yet another World Cup disappointment, Lionel Messi is officially back in the Argentina team. And that might not be good for anyone....
Lionel Messi's Tap-In Completes The Platonic Ideal Of A Barcelona Goal
If you were to diagram out the most quintessentially Barcelona goal imaginable, you could do a lot worse than this tie-killing, overly intricate, senselessly gorgeous combination between about half the Barça team that saw Lionel Messi teed up to blast the ball into the net from point-blank range....
Let's All Gawk At This Impossible Lionel Messi Pass
Every day, we wake up to face the cruel realities of a world driven to ruin by overconsumption and powerful men’s self-absorbed disregard for the rest of us. We all find ways to overcome the internal crises that come with being alive in 2019, finding solace in moments that make us believe that there...
Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...
This Weekend Is The First <i>Clásico</i> Of The Rest Of Our Lives
The defining feature of the past decade of international soccer has been the enduring struggle of two opposing forces: Lionel Messi vs. Cristiano Ronaldo, Barcelona vs. Real Madrid. Two of the very best soccer players to ever live, their abilities maximized to the fullest extent possible thanks to m...
![Lionel Messi Taken Off After Painful Arm Injury Against Sevilla [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x9jprgtbxs0vha0cgaiy.gif)
Lionel Messi Taken Off After Painful Arm Injury Against Sevilla [Update]
Lionel Messi was subbed off in the 15th minute of Barcelona’s match against Sevilla on Saturday after suffering an apparent injury to his arm or elbow. The Argentinian was chasing after the ball and ran into a defending Sevilla player, forcing him to land awkwardly. Messi writhed in pain on the pitc...
Messi Stunned A Reporter By Revealing He Kept A Good Luck Charm From The Reporter's Mom
Lionel Messi shocked a reporter by revealing that he had not only kept a good luck charm the reporter had given him, but that he had worn it during Argentina’s 2-1 win over Nigeria, which allowed Argentina to advance out of the group stage of the World Cup....
Lionel Messi And Marcos Rojo Rescue Argentina From Abject Misery
The stage was all set up for Argentina, until now (and probably still) the single biggest frauds in a tournament defined by fraudhood, to succumb to their misery and die the death they seemed destined for. Somehow, they fought to live another day....
Lionel Messi's Fight Is Almost Over
I wonder how it feels to be Lionel Messi right now, knowing that he’s finally come to the end....
Croatia Expose Argentina As The Greatest Possible Frauds With 3-0 Asskicking
Argentina came into their second group-stage game against Croatia today needing to bounce back from a frustrating, leaden 1-1 draw with Iceland. Instead, they got run off the pitch by a determined Croatia side, who spanked them 3-0 thanks to two horrifying defensive errors and one moment of world-cl...
Icelandic TV Announcer Loses Mind Over Messi PK Stop [UPDATE]
A penalty kick that ought to have given Argentina a 2-1 lead on Iceland in their World Cup match today in Moscow became electric when Hannes Halldórsson turned away Lionel Messi, prompting an absolute explosion of emotion from the Icelandic TV announcer. We’re not quite sure how he still has a voice...