lions Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Knew It Would Take Jay Paterno To Convince Me That The Saudi Monarchy Is Good And Cool
“Caravans of progress take time to cross a desert of resistance,” wrote Jay Paterno in an op-ed for Arab News yesterday. The self-professed “consultant on politics, leadership, crisis communications and public relations” has a lot to teach us, it turns out. Folks, I’ve harbored a personal “desert of...
Matt Prater Earned All Seven Points With His First Career Passing Touchdown
Matt Prater, who holds the record for the longest field goal in NFL history, notched his first career passing touchdown during Sunday’s game against the Packers. Prater lined up to attempt a 26-yard field goal, which would have added to the Lions’ 7-0 lead over a DeShone Kizer-led Packer team. But b...
Matt Patricia Is Always Late
Bill Belichick’s gnarled, stunted coaching tree—a coaching krummholz, really—ultimately reflects well on Belichick. He’s not, apparently, succeeding solely by surrounding himself with hypertalented assistants, as we’re seeing every few years when one of those assistants gets a head coaching gig and ...
The Lions Are Still Clueless On How To Defend A Hail Mary
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: with time expiring, the Detroit Lions were unable to prevent a division rival from successfully pulling off a Hail Mary throw. ...
Duquesne Coach Keith Dambrot Lost His Mind Over A Late Blocking Foul
Duquesne, a 5.5-point underdog, played a back-and-forth game with Penn State last night. The Dukes led by seven at halftime, and they tied it on a pair of free throws with 10 seconds left....
Ass Team Of The Week: The Lions Finally Crapped Their Season Into The Toilet
The Detroit Lions lost 14-13 to the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, a result that guaranteed both a losing season and official elimination from the playoffs. It’s never a good thing for a team to have its season effectively ended by a one-point loss, and it is an even worse thing to have that loss come aga...
Bill Fralic Was A Real-Life Incredible Hulk
Most legends grow to become something beyond their actual size. That never seemed to be true of Bill Fralic, the former University of Pittsburgh and Atlanta Falcons offensive lineman, who died Thursday at the age of 56. He was as big as he was often described to be, and if you’re a certain age and y...
Two NFL Offensive Linemen Working Together Still Cannot Block Aaron Donald
Trying to stop Rams defensive lineman Aaron Donald with one blocker has the same effect as trying to stop a bowling ball with a piece of tissue paper. Using two offensive linemen doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, either....
Somebody Get Matthew Stafford Some Damn Weapons!
Unless you’re a Bears fan, Thursday’s 23-16 Lions loss against Chicago was a boring, depressing way to start Thanksgiving. Both teams’ offenses came out with extremely conservative, mostly ineffective game plans, and while that could be excused with Chicago QB Chase Daniel making the emergency start...
Matt Patricia Made The Lions Practice In The Snow For No Good Reason
The Bill Belichick coaching tree has produced a bounty of dullards and faux hardmen, and it’s beginning to look like former Patriots defensive coordinator and first-year Lions head coach Matt Patricia is the juiciest offering yet....
Remember When Donald Trump Asked If Pittsburgh Was Going To Bring Back Joe Paterno, Who Was Dead?
When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand ...
North Alabama Shocks Vanderbilt To Win Their First-Ever D-I Game
In one of the most surprising upsets that could possibly happen this Tuesday evening, North Alabama’s women’s basketball team defeated Vanderbilt 74-71 in the program’s first-ever Division I game....
Lions Loss Leaves Kelly Stafford Defending Her Husband And Matt Patricia Struggling For Answers
The Detroit Lions are not the worst team in the NFL. Their 3-5 record has them out of the playoff picture but also out of the league’s subbasement. Their point differential, while not very good at -30, is a mere fifth-worst in the NFC, and it’s far more respectable than Buffalo’s -145 or Oakland’s -...
The Vikings Defense Ate Matthew Stafford Alive
After starting the season with wins against Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the Lions have gone from a team that had dark horse potential to one that is definitively ass. This afternoon, the Vikings took advantage....
Coach Who Always Looks Like A Pile Of Dirty Laundry Scolds Reporter For Slouching
Lions head coach Matt Patricia got testy with a reporter in today’s presser after being asked a question about how trading Golden Tate made the franchise better. The inquiry apparently didn’t bug him so much as the posture of the person asking it....
Sue Paterno Endorses Candidate Who Got Penn State Its Wins Back
Before someone tries convincing you that America’s relationship with college football is healthy, normal, and totally fine, remember this campaign video. Pennsylvania State Sen. Jake Corman is up for re-election this year; the Republican has been in the Commonwealth’s Senate since 1999, when he ran ...
Here Are All Five Of Mason Crosby’s Missed Kicks Today
The Lions beat the Packers today, 31-23. They got a bit of help from the Packers’ kicker, Mason Crosby, who missed five kicks that could’ve totaled 13 points....
Ohio State Beat Penn State Thanks To The Season's Worst Play Call
Penn State running back Miles Sanders had just 45 rushing yards on 15 carries heading into the final play of Saturday’s Ohio State-Penn State thriller. But with the Nittany Lions facing a fourth-and-five just outside of field goal range, down 27-26 with a little over a minute to play, PSU coach Jame...
Seal Slaps The Bejesus Out Of Kayaker With Live Octopus
There you are, in your boat, kayaking, in the water, in New Zealand or whatever. Here it comes, a seal! Or is it a sea lion? Does this matter? More on that later. What does it have in its—oh. It’s an octopus! What......
Can Matt Patricia Break The Belichick Curse?<em></em>
Many of the modern NFL’s legendary coaches have impressive coaching trees. Hefty branches that bore much fruit. Assistants that became successful head coaches and who then mentored younger coaches to do the same. Bill Walsh coached Dennis Green, who coached Brian Billick, who coached Jack Del Rio, w...