lions Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make An 0-15 Season Suddenly More Meaningful
This whole Robert Parker/Rod Marinelli press conference situation has suddenly turned a beleaguered, not-so-good coach into a sympathetic character for the last game of a uniquely pathetic Lions season. It's kind of awesome isn't it?...
Detroit Columnist Manages To Piss Off Just About Everyone
Detroit News columnist Rob Parker says he was just joking when he asked Lions head coach Rod Marinelli if he "wishes his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator?" Wow. Some joke....
It's So Cold In The D
Someone asked me recently what it's called when a team goes an entire season without winning a game. I liked her suggestion for the opposite of undefeated, which is simply ... defeated....
Joe Paterno Continues To Age In Reverse
JoePa gets three-year contract extension from Penn State. Grim Reaper throws down scythe in disgust; Nittany Lion pours himself another cocktail. [NBCSports]...
Today's Special On The DVD Aisle: Secondhand Lions
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Do The Lions Still Have The Stink Of Matt Millen On Them?
You gotta feel for Dominic Raiola. The Lion's center was the second player ever drafted by Matt Millen and has been forced to play every single game of his terrible reign in Detroit. So Dominic is understandably frustrated with the way his otherwise successful career has developed. Can anyone really...
OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...
When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....
Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...
Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...
What Is There To Do In State College, Pennsylvania?
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up at an unholy hour to drive to Penn State University for the foot-ball contest between the nation's two premiere land grant colleges. (Look it up.) It will be my first trip ever to Happy Valley and Beaver Stadium and part of my journey will be to figure out why there ...
The Audacity Of Hope
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap With the economy in a tailspin and Congress ignoring the auto industry's bailout pleas, it seems only fitting that this is the year that the Lions make their most serious push towar...
0-16 Is Upon Us. Jamboroo, Week 11, Featuring King Diamond, Poop, And Mongolian Wok
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. The...
Favre-Packers Divorce Is Getting Downright Messy
So do you have a problem that you would like Brett Favre to solve? Girlfriend trouble? Confused about which laundry detergent to buy? Hang by your phone, and Brett will be with you momentarily. But first he has to solve the problems of the NFL, like advising Tony Romo on whether or not he should pla...
Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...
Detroit Lions Still Finding New And Impressive Ways To Lose
Two games after getting rid of the The GM Who Shall Not Be Named, Detroit found itself on the verge of its first and possibly only win of the season against the Minnesota Vikings. The defense had kept the opposition under thirty for the first time all season and backup QB "Dandy" Dan Orlovsky had be...
Celebrating the End Of The Millen-ium
Of all the Matt Millen farewell "tributes" we've come across this morning, Tirico Suave's video compilation, shown immediately following the jump, has to be the most intricate and heartfelt (make sure the volume is turned down if you're at work). Featuring not one, but two clips from Glengarry Glen ...
Matt Millen: Lonely Man With A Lawnmower
After a few hours of cautious speculation about Matt Millen's removal, it was finally revealed that Detroit Lions' owner William Clay Ford did actually have to fire him in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The Detroit Free Press has a surprisingly mesmerizing photo retrospective titled "The Matt M...
Fire Millen Finally Becomes Reality; But Now What, Lions Fans?
Every legendary movement begins with one daring act of civil disobedience. As close as I can tell, the Fire Millen phenomenon began one crisp December day in 2005, when a fan was manhandled by stadium security for brandishing a "Fire Millen" sign during a home game with Minnesota. Had Lions official...
The Matt Millen Era Mercifully Ends In Detroit
It appears Bill Ford Jr.'s comments from a couple days ago were either not-so-subtle foreshadowing or they were taken under consideration by those who do have authority, because according to Fox Sports' Jay Glazer, Matt Millen, the Detroit Lions oft-criticized president and general manager, is offic...