lions Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Millen Gets Overwhelming Lack of Confidence Vote From Lions' Brass
It appears some of the Lions ownership family has its own collection of "Fire Millen" brown paper bag masks and is about to start wearing them in public if things don't turn around for Detroit's woeful football team. William Ford Jr., son of Lions' principle owner William Clay Ford and vice chairman...

Shaun Alexander, Cedric Benson Both Seeking Reclamation Project Status In Detroit
How bad has it been for the former NFL MVP and the former drunk boater? The Lions are bringing both running backs in for workouts now. Okay, well, that's not so bad. Both guys have a chance to sign with an NFL team, right? Not so much. Why not? According to MLive: "A signing of any player is not im...

Tatum Bell Declares Innocence While Suspiciously Wearing Rudi Johnson's Underwear
Yep, this is EXACTLY what the Lions needed. Our story so far: Rudi Johnson arrived at Lions headquarters on Monday to make a deal to become their backup running back, when his two large Gucci dufflebags were stolen from outside of CEO Matt Millen's office. Video surveillance cameras revealed that it...

Note To Self: Do Not Let Tatum Bell Check My Luggage
Running back Rudi Johnson had no sooner arrived in Detroit on Monday than he lost his luggage; not at the airport like God intended, but outside of CEO Matt Millen's office in the Detroit Lions locker room. While Johnson was in Millen's office working out details of a one-year deal with the team, he...

NFL Season Preview: The Detroit Lions
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. This year, the previews w...

Caleb Campbell: The Army's Loss Is The Detroit Lions' Legal Gain?
The Army blew it. They implemented a policy that was designed to draw attention to the unique skills and talents of their servicemen and, in the process, make it easier to recruit soldiers to the Army by attracting positive publicity and media attention. The policy was enacted in 2005 because fillin...

Caleb Campbell: "I Was Left In The Dark"
On Wednesday night word broke that Caleb Campbell, 7th round draft pick out of Army for the Detroit Lions, would not be allowed to play NFL football in the 2008 season. Campbell, a 2nd Lt. who graduated from West Point on May 31 of this year, owed his ability to play in the NFL to a 2005 Army policy...

The Lions Continue To Be A Feel-Good Story In Detroit
Let's see ... how could Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions possibly alienate fans any more than they already have. Hmm. Well, jeez, you know, we just can't think of anything; we can't imagine a conceivable way they could devastate that fan base more completely. Wait, here's one: They could tell their...

Instead of Combat, Caleb Campbell Heading To The Lions. So, Yay?
Safety Caleb Campbell was the first nonkicker from Army ever invited to take part in the NFL combine. If he didn't get drafted, he would probably be serving as a second lieutenant in Iraq or Afghanistan by year's end. But Campbell was drafted in the 7th round. By the Detroit Lions. Bit of a Pyrrhic ...

1st Round, Seventeenth Overall: Lions Select Gosder Cherilus
The Lions made a pick. Stop snickering. And he's a pretty good player. Stop it! Nothing is funny! He could help the team improve. Last warning, damn it! Okay, everything the Lions do is funny. Most coaches invoke omerta when talking about their pre-draft needs. Rod Marinelli shows up at his press ...

Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....

Live Blogs You'll Gleefully Skip: Illinois-Penn State
We know, we know: Nobody cares about a stupid liveblog of a pointless Big Ten tournament first round game. We're fully aware. As we mentioned yesterday, it's just, like, practice or something....

The China Olympics Should Only Involve Lions
How exciting are the Olympics going to be? Well, to entertain folks at the Chinese Zoo, lions are riding on the backs of horses. Only Barbaro could withstand such attacks....


Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...

SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Marques Slocum
We come, AT LAST, to the end of the first round of SHOTY voting. Yes, it's taken a while; just be glad we have 16 competitors, rather than 64. We would have had to start in June....


Jon Kitna Has Good Reasons To Love God
After the Lions' loss to the Packers yesterday, reporters asked Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna what he was thankful for. As everybody now knows, Kitna wears his Christianity on his sleeve. And we really have no problem with that....

Welcome To The Land Of Turducken
Prepare for this exact scene tomorrow: Brett Favre eating turkey and receiving backslaps on the Lions' home field. (We're not sure, but we believe this picture was taken in 1983.)...

Do Not Taunt The Detroit Lions
We don't believe it either, but the Detroit Lions are 6-2, with four winnable games coming up. What the heck is going on?...