lions Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
The Big Ten Network Needs All The Good PR It Can Get
We remember, back in March of this year, when we constantly railed against Major League Baseball's desire to put its Extra Innings package only on DirectTV, the masses rose up, and the uproar was so deafening that MLB couldn't help but notice, even way up there in their castle in the skies. (It floa...
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
JoePa Demands A Job Done Right
If we had our way, Joe Paterno would coach Penn State until the end of time. If the Lord ever decides, misguidedly, to take JoePa, we hope his ghost patrols the sidelines until all the players are wearing rocket packs. Because he's our type of guy....
Charles Rogers, Finding A Home Up North?
We think we've found a great future job for Lions general manager / president Matt Millen, if he's ever actually fired by Detroit. (Ha. Right.) He would make a grand scout for the CFL....
NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....
JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....
Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Everybody Should Have A Nittany Lion At Their Party
Looks like when it's offseason at Penn State, it's pretty tough for the beloved JoePa to keep a firm grip on the ears of his players. Because some Nittany Lions could be in some serious trouble after a weekend altercation....
Roll On, Eighteen Wheeler, Roll On
We're actually big fans of the huge semi trucks that college football teams use to transport all their equipment from game-to-game; when we went to the Rutgers-Illinois game this year, we actually waved to the guy driving the Illini truck. Illinois had lost 33-0, and he grouchily nodded back. At lea...
Matt Millen Laughs At The Pain He Causes You
You know, we're starting to think that the only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust would be cockroaches, Kevin Federline and Matt Millen. And at least the cockroaches would feel kind of guilty about it....
The Tough Life Of A Backup Lineman For The Lions
You know what the problem with flight attendants are? You don't? Well, WE'LL TELL YA....
It's A Big Day For The Millen Haters
The latest in Lions fan protests is happening, oh, any time now. At some point in the second quarter, Lions fans are urged to walk out of Ford Field en masse. The goal, I believe, is not necessarily to voice their anger with Matt Millen, but rather with the guy who won't fire him, team owner William...
You Can Never Get Rid Of Matt Millen. Ever.
Sometimes big fan movements make a difference, changing the course of sports through a considerable mix of gumption and volume, like with the Rory Fitzpatrick NHL All-Star balloting, which still has a chance to send him into the starting lineup....
I Wish You Wouldn't Kill Anthony Morelli
Penn State quarterback Anthony Morelli has received death threats via e-mail, for infractions way less severe than going to the Barbaro message board and wishing out loud that the horse would die. No, some jack-ass Penn State fans want him dead because he's only thrown for 2,227 yards and 10 touchdo...
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...