list Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Saints Go Marching In Without Deuce, Governor
Boy, wasn't it inspirational when New Orleans signed Deuce McAllister before the Cardinals game? The beloved superstar and former face of the franchise, back for one final hurrah. Sorry Deuce, you're cut....
According To This Man's Pus-Filled Foot, The Vikings Are The New Team Of Destiny
Just look at this man's foot. A reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, noticed the throbbing blister resembled the Vikings' helmet horn, thus guaranteeing victory. Or possible amputation due to diabetes, but let's stay positive....
In Other Ex-NFLer Car-Related Legal Trouble...
After his dealership defaulted, Deuce McAllister is countersuing, claiming Nissan's finance division should have known he "was a football player who was inexperienced in the car business." Deuce, I'm pretty sure that's why they sold you the dealership. [AP]...
Overzealous Phillies Fan Gets Her Day In Court
The woman accused of offering sex for World Series tickets had a preliminary hearing, featuring graphic testimony and topless photos. The dog wasn't part of either. We hope....
Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore
You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them....
What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....
A Small Way To Liven Up Any Fantasy Draft
You might've missed this fantasy football draft over the weekend, and it's your loss. Like many, it took place in a hotel room. But unlike most, it featured those two magic little words: midget strippers....
Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...
Michael Vick Is the Most Hated Person in Sports
Here is a list, based on an internet poll of people 13 and older, of the most disliked people in sports. It is mostly rapists, drug-users, dog-killers, and John McEnroe....
The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....
U.S. Olympians Will Replace Berets With Snowflake Sweaters
Polo Ralph Lauren re-upped their rights to design the United States' Olympic garb in 2010 and 2012, and the planned attire for Vancouver includes "zip-up snowflake sweaters, knit caps and parkas." No wonder all the other countries are intimidated. [WSJ]...
Female Basketball Stars Hate Age Rules, Too
Epiphanny Prince, who briefly made people care about high school girls basketball when she scored 2,493 points in a game, now plans to leave Rutgers early and play abroad, just like the boys. We got next! In Krakow!...
The Washington Huskies Revival Will Be Led By Joe Montana's Son
Tough call for Nick Montana: Charlie Weis' Notre Dame or winless Washington? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a Huskie by the toe, my father told me to pick the best one and that is Y-O-U-W. [Seattle Times]...
The New York Times Somehow Finds A Silly Reason To Loathe Yankee Stadium
Leave it to the Times — the publisher's kid, no less — to come up with one of the dumber reasons to hate the infinitely hateable Yankee Stadium: The kiddies can't get autographs anymore!...
A-Rod, Schilling Among Athletes Deemed Notably "Unsexy" By Boston Phoenix
What are they talking about? Have they seen A-Rod's Details photo shoot? Or Schilling in his Gonzo Friday Hawaiian shirt? It's just wrong. [Boston Phoenix]...
Which Athletes Were On The Houston Madame Call Girl Client List?
OK, I'm working on an office pool for this, and will have brackets up shortly. Big high-end prostitution bust in Houston, and the client list may include several professional athletes....
Deuce McAllister Cannot Sell You A Reliable Automobile
First, he gets cuts by the Saints and now Deuce McAllister Nissan in Jackson, Mississippi, is filing for bankruptcy. I think someone needs a hug (and a bailout.) [WDSU]...
Yeah, I Guess Somebody Had To Use This Headline
Deuce McAllister cut from Saints; Fox Sports headline writers finally get a chance to be 12-year-olds again. [Fox Sports]...
Would Any Names Shock You At This Point?
Now that A-Rod's been outed as a 2003 steroid user, many are wondering when the other 103 names on that not-so-mysterious list will be revealed. Would any player's name surprise you?...
I Will Not Read A Pro Wrestling List Which Doesn't Include Sting
The Top 10 pro wrestlers of all time. I have no earthly idea why. [SunSentinel]...