liv Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Let John Oliver Remind You That March Madness And The NCAA Are Bullshit
John Oliver dedicated a huge chunk of last night's episode of Last Week Tonight to battering the NCAA. The fact that he was able to go in on the NCAA's exploitative, hypocritical existence for over 20 minutes should tell you all you need to know about the lie that is college sports. You certainly ...

Why I Love Coutinho, And How Real Madrid's Slip Gives Us A Great<i> Clásico</i>
With the fireworks of the last few days, it would be natural to look down the sights and champ at how those results set up a couple blockbuster head-to-head matchups in the coming weeks. But let's take a second to look back and appreciate what we saw this weekend, which was magnificent....

How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...

Mario Balotelli Does Selfish, Swaggy Thing, Wins Game For Liverpool
Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burg...

Norm Macdonald: Eddie Murphy Was To Be Cosby In <i>Celebrity Jeopardy!</i>
Norm Macdonald turned storyteller on Twitter tonight, sharing his experience of being involved with Sunday's Saturday Night Live 40th-anniversary episode and revealing that "Celebrity Jeopardy!" sketch writers originally called for Eddie Murphy to play Bill Cosby—but that the Norbit star begged ...

<i>Last Week Tonight</i> Clowns The Increasingly Desperate <i>SI</i> Swimsuit Issue
Last night's episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver featured a segment which addressed a question that everyone who is not a 56-year-old dad who still masturbates to magazines in the bathroom has asked: How is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue still a thing?...

Watch Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon Rap 40 Years Of <i>SNL</i> Memories
Tonight's 40th anniversary celebration of Saturday Night Live on NBC opened with a musical tribute to the variety show's most memorable moments, starring former cast member Jimmy Fallon and oft-host Justin Timberlake—who briefly brought back "Dick In A Box." (Uncensored, even, in prime time!) This s...

Looks Like Diego Maradona Went And Bought Himself A New Face
Looking good there, Diego! Like you've shaved years off your face! Those wrinkles at the corner of your eyes, the bags underneath them—all the evidence of your 54 years of hard living has just been wiped away. ...

Ross, Be A Man Of Your Word And Eat Your Own Shit Now
A story in five tweets (context here):...

Mario Balotelli Does Good Thing On Soccer Field
Once—and not even that long ago, if you'd believe—it was widely thought that Mario Balotelli was a good or great soccer player who, if nothing else, could be relied on to score some goals, sometimes. Then he was sold to Liverpool in August, and since, he's spent the last six months proving everyone ...

How Harry Kane Owned The Best Weekend Of The Premier League Season
You want to know why the Premier League is the best league in the world? It's for weekends like this past one, which feature a handful of headliner games, a couple more you didn't think would be that competitive but end up going down to the wire, and even when the title race is all but decided alrea...

BBC Report On '67 Merseyside Derby Gets Unexpected Guest
In the run-up to today's Merseyside Derby between Everton and Liverpool, the BBC sent their roving man on the streets to interview people about historic matches between the "friendly" rivals. The reporter hoped this old man would be able to remember an FA Cup match from 48 years ago, but little did ...

Liverpool Are Back
Man, that formation change really did revitalize their season, didn't it? After idly futzing around with the ball for practically the entire first half of the season, unable to do the one thing they did so well last year—score—Liverpool now are back to booting 'em in every which way....

Live Report On Dangerous Driving Conditions Interrupted By Car Wreck
These two reporters from Burlington's WPTZ had an especially exciting live shot this evening when their live report on dangerous Vermont driving conditions included an unscheduled demonstration....

Watch Tonight's <i>SNL</i> Cold Open Feat. Richard Sherman & Marshawn Lynch
Tonight's Saturday Night Live cold open featuring "Richard Sherman" and a reticent-as-always "Marshawn Lynch" improved greatly over last week's weak Ballghazi-themed effort. Jay Pharoah pulls out a pretty solid attempt at Sherman's intensity....

Hey, Get A Load Of This Evil Doctor
The Washington Post has a profile today of Dr. Jack Wolfson, an Arizona cardiologist and holistic medicine, uh, doer or whatever, who's made something of a name for himself by providing a flimsy, fraudulent rime of expertish cover to the reprehensible, morally criminal anti-vaccination crowd in the ...

Oliver Ekman-Larsson Scores Distant Shorthanded Goal On Hapless Leafs
Arizona Coyotes defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson was only trying to dump the puck, but the unintended accuracy gave him his 13th goal of the season as the "shot" got past Maple Leafs goalie Jonathan Bernier. Toronto is at the point where it can't even lose a lead on an even-strength goal....

Lou Merloni Resists Attacking Protestors Who Say Black Lives Matter
Former Red Sox infielder and current WEEI yakker Lou Merloni is perhaps best known in Boston for being from Framingham and for being Nomar's friend. But in addition to those two distinctions, he did also manage to utility-guy his way through 423 games over the course of nine seasons in the Big Leagu...

Steven Gerrard's Move To The L.A. Galaxy Is Now Official
It looked certain last week, and now it is; Steven Gerrard will play in MLS next season for the L.A. Galaxy. (Probably.)...

The Biggest Dude In The World Just Scored Against Liverpool
They don't make 'em like Adebayo Akinfenwa too often. The man-mountain stands at five-foot-eleven, has to be pushing 200 pounds, and can reportedly bench press damn near 400 pounds. That's how you get a world's-best 97 strength rating in the FIFA games....