lockout Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Amidst Lockout, NBA Players, Executives Awkwardly Ask Each Other To Dance
Remember how when Yao Ming retired after nine years in Houston, they weren't allowed to call him or release a comment? One of the side effects of the lockout is that players can't have any contact with their teams, so we were forced to imagine Yao sitting at home, staring at the phone, not understan...
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....
Rick Reilly Goes Union-Busting
Rick Reilly popped another reheated turd out of the microwave. It's a variation on his standard deification of golf as the world's most perfect sport. But here's the twist: this time those blue collar heroes of the links are contrasted with the greedy millionaires of the NBA and NFL....
Aaron Rodgers Does Not Think You Should Drive Drunk Or Uninformed About Car Insurance
Super Bowl XLV MVP Aaron Rodgers has spent a portion of his locked-out off-season in the company of David Gruber, a personal-injury attorney whose office number includes the word "HURT." Together, they've filmed a pair of commercials, the first of which urges Wisconsinites to enjoy "fun, festivals...
The Miami Heat Are World Champions Of Doing Whatever It Takes To Defeat Children In Knockout
We'll give Dwyane Wade credit for taking a more playful approach to the game than his teammate, but my god, these guys just won't lose! (Except for those times that they lost.)...
Who Wins If Deron Williams Goes Overseas?
When the currently out-of-work Williams announced his deal with Istanbul club Beskitas, the instinctual reaction was to chalk it up as a labor victory for the players. I don't need you to get paid, he seemed to be saying to the owners. But as FIBA and the Nets and all of us had time to think about i...
Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...
Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...
Pacman Jones Is Wearing A Neck Brace In His Latest Mug Shot
According to Cincinnati.com, Adam "Pacman" Jones was taken into custody early this morning. Here are the details:...
Hines Ward's Manager: "The Facts Will Show That Hines Was NOT Impaired By Alcohol While Driving"
Remember that whole "Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot" thing from this morning? Yeah, well Hines's people want you to just forget about all that....
An Attempted Translation Of DeSean Jackson's Twitter Response To That Whole Gay-Slur Issue Thing (Updated)
Last evening, Philadelphia Eagles WR DeSean Jackson, who is embroiled in a slurmantic battle over his use of the phrase "gay-ass faggot," put his thoughts on the record about said controversy. ...
Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot
As mentioned earlier, Pittsburgh Steelers WR/Dance Machine Hines Ward was arrested on DUI charges in Georgia overnight. This photo was released by the Dekalb County Sheriff's Office. He was booked at 3:41 a.m. and released shortly thereafter on $1,000 bond....
Tony Parker: "Lockout? Wheeee!"
If summer vacation could last forever, Tony Parker would never come down. [via TBJ]...
Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...
Joe Flacco's New Bride Is A Very Understanding Woman
Marriage is supposed to be compromising, right? [JasonPrezant.com, h/t Andy]...
Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...
Deion Branch Will Be At A Papa John's In Louisville For One Hour On Friday
With the reverence worthy of a Super Bowl MVP, the sign outside the Papa John's at 2nd and Liberty streets in Louisville, Ky. invites passersby to stop in this Friday to distract Patriots WR Deion Branch from the fact that he's been forced to make an appearance at a Papa John's in his old college t...