lol Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hornets' Jeremy Lamb Hit A Much More Reasonable Game-Winner Against The Raptors This Time
In any other situation, you, the reader, would be a fool to pick the constantly-underachieving Charlotte Hornets to beat one of the top seeds in the Eastern Conference. Yet the Hornets were able to beat the visiting Toronto Raptors on Friday, 113-112, because they happen to employ a player that appe...
Pissed-Off Noah Syndergaard Sandbagged By Schedule, Teammate's Random Piss Test
Noah Syndergaard pitched brilliantly against the Nationals in the Mets home opener on Thursday afternoon. He allowed three baserunners through six innings of work, struck out six, and carried a no-hitter through five innings. He also took the loss, due to the combination of an equally dominant perfo...
Germany's Small But Devoted Group Of Knicks Fans Has Plenty Of Takes And Hates James Dolan<em></em>
BERLIN — As he watched the New York Knicks play on TV in the middle of March, Max Thümer explained why he had, weeks before, vowed to stop watching the team....
Betsy DeVos, Who Wants To Defund The Special Olympics, Smiles Dumbly, Gets Thrown Under The Bus, Then Lies<em></em>
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who wanted to defund the Special Olympics and then “correct[ed] the record” by confirming that she indeed wanted to defund the Special Olympics, is having a tough week, but that seems deserved given that she wanted to defund the Special Olympics....
Betsy DeVos "Corrects The Record" On Desire To Defund Special Olympics By Reiterating Desire To Defund Special Olympics
On Tuesday, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos went before a House appropriations subcommittee and, as she has in every previous year of the Trump presidency, requested a series of huge cuts to the Department of Education—$7 billion in total this time around, which is roughly 10 percent of the depar...
Trump Department Of Education Wants To Defund The Special Olympics
On Tuesday, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos met with members of a House appropriations subcommittee to defend her department’s proposed budget for the next fiscal year. It was, like most of what happens in government, a ritualistic offering—the proposed budget is a proposal that reflects the admi...
Mets' Flight To Dreaded Syracuse Grounded On Tarmac For Three Hours, Of Course
The New York Mets took some heat from star pitcher Noah Syndergaard for scheduling an inexplicable workout in Syracuse between the end of spring training in St. Lucie, Florida, and their regular season opener in Washington, D.C. The trip necessitated a three-hour bus ride to Sarasota, and then a la...
Noah Syndergaard Is Very Unhappy That The Mets Are Making Him Go To Syracuse<em></em>
Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard got honest with the media today, slamming the decision-makers at his club over their apparent reluctance to sign Jacob deGrom to a contract extension, and also their travel itinerary. They’re forcing the players to go to Syracuse, for god’s sake!...
New Music Festival Video Shows James Dolan At Peak Weenie
Less than a week after New York Knicks owner James Dolan threw a fan out of a Knicks game, a new video posted on Twitter today shows Dolan trying to kick a fan out of music festival....
The Giants Did This To Themselves
“Don’t quit on talent,” Giants GM Dave Gettleman famously said upon his hiring in New York in December 2017....
Le'Veon Bell Continues Self-Imposed NFL Exile By Signing With Jets
It took a year-long holdout, and alienating many of his Steelers teammates, and enduring the experience of having his role comfortably usurped by another dirt-cheap replacement, but Le’Veon Bell has finally successfully ducked franchise tag hell and engineered his way to a long-term contract. Sadly...
Pissbaby James Dolan Goes On The Radio And Whines About Everything<em></em>
It’s time once again to check in on James Dolan, the infamously oversensitive and multiply delusional owner of the godawful New York Knicks. Dolan went on The Michael Kay Show today to address an incident on Saturday in which he demanded a Knicks fan be thrown out of the arena after the fan told Dol...
Anthony Barr Just Couldn't Bring Himself To Join The Jets
That free-agent deal that Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr reportedly agreed to last night with the Jets? On second thought ......
Brandon Nimmo Ate Undercooked Chicken, Was Up All Night Barfing
Brandon Nimmo was not scheduled to play Wednesday for the Mets in early Grapefruit League action, but he was excused from showing up for work due to what was initially reported to be a “stomach bug.” Speaking after the Mets’ 14-6 win over the Marlins, manager Mickey Callaway clarified that Nimmo’s a...
Brandon Nimmo Ate Undercooked Chicken, Was Up All Night Barfing
Brandon Nimmo was not scheduled to play Wednesday for the Mets in early Grapefruit League action, but he was excused from showing up for work due to what was initially reported to be a “stomach bug.” Speaking after the Mets’ 14-6 win over the Marlins, manager Mickey Callaway clarified that Nimmo’s a...
A <i>Fortnite </i>Epidemic Would Only Help The Knicks' Cause At This Point<em></em>
The Knicks, currently a half-game “behind” the Suns for the worst record in the NBA, also sport one of the league’s youngest squads. Eight players on the 15-man roster have yet to turn 24. Rotation staples like Kevin Knox, Mitchell Robinson, and Mario Hezonja are 19, 20, and 23 respectively. It com...
Backboard's Kiss Of Death Helps Iowa Defeat Rutgers On A Buzzer-Beater
With just over five seconds remaining in the game, Rutgers’ Geo Baker hoisted up a three-point shot that bounced off the front iron of the rim, the center of the backboard and the front of the rim again before falling through the net to give Baker’s team a 69-68 lead over No. 21 Iowa. The Hawkeyes h...
The Knicks Do The Unthinkable And Win A Basketball Game
For just the second time since the calendar flipped over to 2019, the Knicks have won a regular season NBA basketball game, topping the lowly Hawks—and in Atlanta, no less—by the score of 106–91. It’s been 41 days since the team last tasted victory, a span covering a franchise-record 18 consecutive ...
The Lakers Look A Delirious Mess
Gather now to review some things that happened in the Lakers’ 117-113 loss to the Hawks—yes, the 19-38 Hawks—last night....
Nobody Enjoyed PSG's Beatdown Of Manchester United More Than Ángel Di María
Manchester United hosted Paris Saint-Germain in the Champions League today. PSG winger Ángel Di María once enjoyed a brief and ignominious tenure at United. These two facts made for a predictably tetchy atmosphere at Old Trafford, with the United fans wanting to express their still simmering anger a...