lol Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carmelo Anthony Owns Knicks One Final Time, Will Start At Power Forward For OKC
Carmelo Anthony will be Oklahoma City’s starting power forward, according to coach Billy Donovan and Melo himself. This gives the Thunder a very cool and good starting five with tons of switching fluidity on defense; much more importantly: LOL....
Michael Beasley Just Wants To Know Who The Real Brain Genius Is
Michael Beasley is new to New York. Already he has said that he is “your favorite player’s favorite player” and that he, at 28, can still be “one of the best in the NBA.” Slow your roll, Beez. There are at least two more reasonable goals for you to achieve first: starting small forward(???) for the...
Carmelo Anthony Has Escaped A Hell Partly Of His Own Making
What did it feel like, at the very end?...
Now UNC's Basketball Team Is Declining Their Invitation To Meet With Basketball-Colored President
The Trump White House is being denied visits from basketball teams left and right, these days. First the great doofus had to hastily pretend to disinvite the NBA champion Golden State Warriors, and now the 2017 NCAA champion North Carolina men’s basketball team will be declining their own invitatio...
Reports: The Knicks Have Agreed To Trade Carmelo Anthony To The Oklahoma City Thunder
Reports came in this week that Carmelo Anthony had added the Cleveland Cavaliers and Oklahoma City Thunder to his list of teams for which he’d waive his no-trade clause. That was apparently as much freedom as Knicks general manager Scott Perry needed: Carmelo Anthony has now reportedly been traded t...
Avatar Of Discontent Turns Out To Be Mets Fan
The Yankees have adopted the thumbs-down as a tool of positive reinforcement, ever since an unhappy man in the stands gave the gesture to Todd Frazier’s homer in last Monday’s game against the Rays. As it happens, the fan responsible for the gesture loves the other team in New York....
Mets Eliminated From Postseason Contention Not With A Bang, But With A Real Stupid-Ass Play
A spectacularly silly baserunning blunder is not necessarily the most Metsy way to get mathematically eliminated from postseason contention—it’s no “entire pitching staff mysteriously bursts into flames all at once” or anything—but it’s pretty damn close! And it’s how the Mets were eliminated tonigh...
Charles Oakley Sues James Dolan, Doesn't Hold Back
Knicks legend Charles Oakley filed a suit in federal court Tuesday regarding a Feb. 8 incident where he was handcuffed, arrested, and hauled screaming out of Madison Square Garden during the first quarter of a game against the Clippers. The Knicks later released a statement accusing Oakley of “highl...
In These Dangerous Times, It's Important To Remember That The Jets Are Crud
When you are fleeing your home, and perhaps your state, and perhaps your former life, as a historic hurricane bears down on you, it’s a good idea that you take a few moments to remember what’s really important in this lifetime: that the Jets are a bunch of junk:...
Mets Minor League Team Gets Retconned Into The Wrong End Of A No-Hitter
In the second inning of Saturday’s Double-A tilt between the Trenton Thunder and the Binghamton Rumble Ponies, Binghamton catcher Tomas Nido hit a grounder past Trenton third baseman Dante Bichette, Jr., for a single. The next batter walked, putting Nido into scoring position, but the Thunder killed...
The Mets Will Pitch Matt Harvey On Short Rest, For Reasons Passing Understanding
It’s nothing short of cruel that the Mets have to find a way to finish out these next 26 games. Their season has gone so completely into the toilet; they haven’t won consecutive games since August 10; they’re 24 games back of the Nationals in the NL East and 14 games out of the NL Wild Card; they’ve...
The Mets Have Shut Down David Wright And His Battered Body Once Again
After suffering through an excruciating set of conditions including spinal stenosis and a herniated disc in his neck, David Wright has played less than half a season of major-league ball over the past three years. He last appeared in a Mets uniform back in spring training, where the career third bas...
Jets: Armagedon Is Coming
The truth can sometimes be too on the nose: The Jets are signing a safety named Armagedon Draughn, who played at four different colleges and was briefly on a CFL team. A perfect fit for a roster stricken by pestilence....
Bad Thing Happens To Mets Player
This is going to come as a shock, but the Mets dealt with some terrible luck today....
Cristiano Ronaldo On Rejection Of Ban Appeal: "Injustices Will Never Bring Me Down"
Cristiano Ronaldo seems to think that everything bad that happens to Cristiano Ronaldo is proof of a vast worldwide conspiracy to besmirch the reputation of Cristiano Ronaldo. This explains why he would describe the Spanish tax authorities seeking to collect on some €15 million they believe he may h...
What The Hell Did The Mets Do To Steven Matz?
On Monday, the Mets announced that young starter Steven Matz was being shut down. Manager Terry Collins insisted that Matz was not hurt, telling reporters, “This is not an injury, this is not an injury ... If he had to pitch he could pitch tomorrow.” A few hours later, the Mets announced that Matz w...
The Mets Forgot How Many Outs Are In An Inning Of Baseball
The Mets turned five double plays last night in a win over the Marlins, snapping a five-game losing streak in the doing. But that’s not why we’re here, my friends. We are here to delight in one particular double-play: the one where the Mets stood around the infield waiting for play to resume after r...
The Mets Are Certainly Getting Less Expensive
The Dodgers, already comprehensively better than every other team in baseball, today gave up cash and a player to be named later for Curtis Granderson of the Mets....
The Mets Are Dealing With Infield Injuries Just Fine, Thanks
There are any number of logical team strategies for dealing with injuries. Call up help from the minor leagues. Get a little more creative than usual with your defensive alignments. Let a catcher make his first career appearance at third base, but live in such terror of him actually having to field ...
Tim Tebow Took A Pitch To The Noggin And Walked It Off
The sound the ball makes when it rockets off the back of Tebow’s batting helmet is startlingly, frighteningly loud:...