lol Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Latest Mets Scandal Is So Stupid Even By Mets Scandal Standards
Jordany "Took a Spring Training Fastball Right To The Dick" Valdespin doesn't do a whole lot on the Mets. He doesn't walk, he can't play much defense, and he's hitting .235. He pinch-hits, with a start in center or at second every so often. He'll steal a base or hit a home run on a special day. But ...
Watch This Rugby Guy Get Tackled Really Hard
Man, that was a hard tackle....
Mark Sanchez Is Now Dressing Like A Soccer Player
What should you do when your employers basically make it apparent that you are unqualified to hold the job you currently have? (The Jets have unquestionably done this, by drafting Geno Smith, and signing David Garrard, and starting Greg McElroy, and generally by treating Sanchez like a lingering far...
New York Jets Draft A Quarterback, Media Salivates
The New York Jets drafted Geno Smith with the 39th pick Friday night and that sound you heard was the sharpening of knives as media types prepare to dine on what remains of Mark Sanchez. Then they'll turn to Geno Smith....
Justin Sellers Was Up To No Good In The Dodgers' Dugout Yesterday
We haven't the foggiest what Justin Sellers is up to in this video, other than fondling an invisible boob and rolling an invisible doob. That's more than enough for us to give it the Deadspin Video treatment....
The Jets Finally Trade Darrelle Revis To Tampa Bay
The when will they?/No, seriously when will they? saga of the Revis-to-the-Buccaneers trade rumors is finally over. ...
Did You Know? Deer Fight Like Idiots
Mike Simundson, a photographer for Keloland TV, captured this deer fight in a Sioux Falls, S.D., park last week. The technique: slap the shit out of each other and slowly back your opponent into a set of bleacher seats. You'll never lose another deer fight again....
Read This Story About Jon Niese's Wife's Panties
Everything about this is wonderful....
The Mets' PR Director Cannot Stop Butt-Dialing People
Jay Horwitz, longtime media relations man for the Mets, has a problem. He doesn't know how to use his phone, and refuses to lock it. The result? Thousands and thousands of accidental calls to confused players. ...
“Well, no. Most of the time, it’s just bad teams and they can’t do it. This is a good team that just for whatever reason can’t collectively, mentally, get stimulated to do it every time. And I told them in (the locker room), we put our hands in (the huddle), and you’ve guys have probably seen it, we...
Jordany Valdespin Taking A Fastball Right To The Dick: A Photo Essay
Yesterday we brought you the breaking news that Mets utility player Jordany Valdespin got a 94-mph fastball right to the junk. Today, after the smoke has cleared, the swelling has subsided, and manager Terry Collins has publicly chided him for not wearing a cup, we have photos....
Mets Utility Player Jordany Valdespin Took A Fastball Right To The Dick
It's been a day of highs and lows for Jordany Valdespin. First, he took Justin Verlander deep to lead off his team's spring training game against the Tigers:...
Watch All These Tottenham Players Choke The Game Away To Liverpool
Today's most notable Premier League matchup was between Tottenham Hotspur, currently third in the table with just two points over Chelsea, and eighth-place Liverpool FC. This game was vital. A week after beating bitter rivals Arsenal, Spurs are trying to get some separation from Chelsea, while a su...
The Citi Field Amway Store Has A Juice Bar That Doesn't Sell Juice
Lost in all of the hullabaloo about the New York Mets' tone deaf decision to lease a Citi Field storefront to Amway was any kind of explanation regarding what exactly is inside of an Amway store. What use does a company that makes its profits via the Sisyphean efforts of Independent Business Owners...
A Kinky Mets Fan's Safe Phrase: "Yankees Rule"
Look, I'm not going to tell you to go read the whole three-page article on BDSM currently featured in The New York Times Fashion & Style section, but I will tell you this: the lede contains the phrase "unmarked entrance to Paddles." I will also leave you with this paragraph:...
"The Dagger Has Been Retracted": Wizards Play-By-Play Man Calls Game-Winner That Wasn't
You can't really blame Steve Buckhantz for this one. From his seat (and from the first angle) it really did look like Trevor Ariza sealed an incredible Wizards comeback against the Pistons and a "Dagger!" was absolutely warranted. Unfortunately, after the first view of the shot there is the second...
The New York Mets' Latest Partnership Is With A Company That Specializes In Pyramid Schemes
The Mets continue to be the deadbeat, alcoholic uncle of the MLB family. The organization's latest source of embarrassment comes as the result of an under-the-radar decision to lease out a Citi Field storefront to Amway, the notoriously shady "multilevel marketing" company that makes its money by e...
Don Rumsfeld Fights The Fascists; Or, Why Are The Olympics So Corrupt?
Originally published in Bloomberg View...
The Jets' New Special Teams Coach Once Got Doinked On The Head By A Botched Snap
Before there was the buttfumble, there was this, from 1993: Jets holder Louie Aguiar hilariously getting knocked in the head by a Roger Duffy snap on an attempted field goal. The ball was recovered by the Redskins. The play was so ridiculous, so Jetsie, that it elicited an "Oh my" from Dick Enberg ...
Lolo Jones Won A Gold Medal (In World Championship Bobsled)
Lolo Jones still has yet to win a gold medal in the Olympics, but today, she added a new and extra random addition to her small pile of world championship medals—she now has two golds for 60m hurdles, and one for the combined bobsled-skeleton team event at the Swiss winter world championships. She w...