lolmets Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The Botched Mets Trade Went Down
So: who screwed up? Who was responsible for Wilmer Flores’s tears, and for the Brewers’ goodbye messages to Carlos Gomez, and for the Mets becoming a punchline yet again? And who’s to thank for the most entertaining sports Twitter night since DeAndre Jordan?...
Wilmer Flores Cries After Learning He'd Been Traded, Stays In The Game (UPDATE)
At around 9:00 p.m., the Mets reportedly agreed to a deal with the Brewers to trade Zack Wheeler and Wilmer Flores for Carlos Gomez:...
Here's A Bartolo Colon GIF To Brighten Up Your Friday
Clayton Kershaw rolled into Queens last night and took a katana to the Mets’ lineup, striking out 11 and allowing just three hits in nine shutout innings. But whatever, the real star of the show (as usual) was Bartolo Colon....
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Is A Man Of Many Talents
Everyone loves Mets rookie pitcher Steven Matz today, mostly because he did a lot of cool shit in his first big-league game, and also because he has a swell grandpa. Well, did you also know that Matz is really good at spinning stuff on his finger?...
With Just One Retweet, You'll Help A Pathetic Team Give Something Away
The Mets have approximately 356,000 followers on Twitter. Today, they asked 5,000 accounts—who, according to the fine print, must follow them—to retweet their tweet in order for them to give away an autographed Bartolo Colon jersey....
Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...
Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...
Are The Mets Charging Players To Attend Offseason Workouts?
The Mets are currently holding offseason workouts in Port St. Lucie, Fla., and based on some chatter coming from reporters who are at the camp and local beat writers, the Mets are running some bullshit....
Mets Writer Notes Team Hasn't Balked All Year; Mets Immediately Balk
This is just beautiful:...
Former Mets Exec Sues Team, Says She Was Fired For Being Pregnant
I'd say this story belongs in the LOLMets pantheon, but this is less "ha ha" funny than it is "wow, the Mets appear to be run by a tremendously scummy sexist" funny....
Man Goes To Mets Sleepover, Leaves With Gross Rash
Huffington Post editor Andy Campbell went to Citi Field earlier this month to cover the Mets' annual fan sleepover. Because this event was hosted by the Mets, he came home with a gross rash on his body....
A Mets Game, As Experienced By The Team Twitter Account
We rag on the Mets here a good amount—mostly because it's so much fun—but tonight, during a 6-0 loss to the Phillies, the team twitter account got in on the joke and had some fun. With a healthy dose of self awareness and self-loathing humor, the twitter account presented the Mets Fan Experience, ...
I Can't Stop Watching This Agonized Mets Fan's Performative Suffering
After Juan Lagares popped out in foul territory with two men on against the Braves, this guy just couldn't handle the Mets' inability to score. The team was 1-for-8 with runners in scoring position in a 3-1 loss Thursday night, with nine runners left on base, and the man in the front row was fed up....
Let's Watch Bartolo Colon Swing Poorly In Slow-Mo
Earlier this season, Bartolo Colon recorded his first hit since 2005. (He now has two on the season!) But in the fourth inning of today's Mets-Pirates game, he wasn't Bartolo the Slugger. He was Bartolo the Whiffer....
Carlos Torres Is Punching Himself In The Head
Look, man, I know it must be rough to be on the Mets. But self-abuse is not the answer....
The Mets Can't Hit And Can't Pitch But They Sure Can Fire People
The Mets made a rare double-switch today when they released 11-year veteran pitcher Jose Valverde and axed their hitting coach. ...
Citi Field Shake Shack Food Poisoning Hits Mets Player, Phillies Manager
Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg and Mets first baseman Lucas Duda both came down with cases of food poisoning during a weekend series in Queens, and the culprit seems to be undercooked burgers from the Citi Field Shake Shack. But the Mets, naturally, are disputing that account....
Jenrry Mejia Is Not Hating Baseball So Much Anymore
When we last checked in with Mets pitcher Jenrry Mejia, he was just so damn sick and tired of all the bullshit. He's since been removed from the starting rotation, which seems to have done a lot of good for his mental well being....
White Pants Make Mets Troops Tribute Not Even Half-Assed
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....