lowlight-reel Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bad Soccer Manager Suspended Five Months For Headbutting The Everloving Shit Out Of Opposing Coach<em></em>
Giancarlo Favarin manages Italian third-tier club Lucchese. During a match against Alessandria on Sunday, he found himself in a spat with an assistant coach on the opposing side. In an effort to settle the dispute, Favarin rammed his massive, shiny forehead straight through the assistant’s nose:...
Grizzlies Explore New Depths Of Misery Via Excruciating Kyle Anderson Meltdown
The Memphis Grizzlies spent the late stages of their Monday night home game against the Nuggets barfing away what had been a 25-point lead. Denver grabbed its first lead of the entire game with under a minute left in the fourth quarter; the teams traded buckets over the following 15 seconds (includi...
This Pro Bowl Play Broke Me
The Pro Bowl transcends criticism, or praise. (The latter transcendence is academic, because no one has ever praised the Pro Bowl, not even, I don’t think, the players who are selected for it.) It it bulletproof to all disparagement because that disparagement necessarily takes place on a plane the g...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Sevilla Fail To Score On Counter-Attack Despite Six-On-One Advantage
In the 65th minute Sevilla’s La Liga match against Levante, the home squad appeared to have an all-but-guaranteed goal. Sevilla took the botched corner kick from their opponents and immediately started on the break towards their goal. Pablo Sarabia, who began the counter, made a quick pass to Wissam...
Steven Adams Unleashes World's Worst Euro-Step
Steven Adams is a big heavy metal-looking Kiwi monster who does cool basketball things all the time, and this season he’s played his way into serious All-Star consideration by being efficient as shit and co-anchoring one of the NBA’s best defenses. Mostly he’s stayed pretty chill through all this, b...
Frustrated Young Knick Allonzo Trier Slides Into Twitter DMs To Defend His Effort
The Knicks dropped a narrow one at home to the Houston Rockets Wednesday night. Afterward, several Knicks fans, already all aboard the Zion Williamson tank, tweeted their gratitude for some extremely butt point-of-attack defense that let Eric Gordon waltz into a game-winning three-pointer. Here’s th...
P.J. Tucker Randomly Decides The Ball Has Cooties, Refuses To Touch It
I defy you to make sense of this sequence, from late in Houston’s road win over the lousy Knicks. The Rockets were up three after an Allonzo Trier free throw with 59 seconds on the clock. The Knicks pressed up the court to deny the inbound to James Harden, who went for another 61 points in the game....
Fox Tried To Save Us From Seeing Michael Thomas's Butt
On the first drive of the Rams-Saints game, the broadcast booth at FOX sprung into action to prevent the youth of America from seeing something ugly on a football field: Michael Thomas’s ass. ...
Charlton Fan Accidentally Kicks His Own Team's Player In The Dick And Balls Trying To Celebrate Game-Winning Goal
In the 93rd minute of the match between Charlton Athletic and Accrington Stanley, the linesman awarded a penalty to Charlton after a shot from midfielder Ben Reeves ricocheted off the hand of a defender in the penalty box. Karlan Grant calmly scored from the spot and the players were understandably ...
An Empty Net Made Back-To-Back Saves On Chris Wagner
Bruins winger Chris Wagner had an excellent game in Thursday’s 5-2 home win over the Blues, scoring the go-ahead goal on a pretty breakaway and assisting on another. But the fourth-liner’s not much of a scorer, so when St. Louis pulled its goalie and Wagner found himself in on an empty net with a go...
Knicks Lose London Game In Knicksiest Imaginable Fashion
Though Congress has yet to designate it an official act of war, the NBA sent the Knicks to London....
Philip Rivers To Injured Matthew Judon: "That's What You Get!"
Philip Rivers has not taken too kindly to the type of hits he’s been on the receiving end of against the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He vented his frustration to Matthew Judon near the end of the first half when the linebacker got hurt after getting another post-throw hit in on Rivers. After the whis...
Álvaro<em></em> Morata Is Not Okay (I Promise)
The good news for Álvaro Morata is that unlike Chelsea—a side that’s gone from early-season title contenders to just hoping they make the top-four—the Spanish striker has been rather consistent this season in his performances. The bad news is that that consistency has yielded a year of mediocrity fo...
Warriors Get Go-Ahead Overtime Bucket After Just An Incredible Blown Call
The Rockets and Warriors were tied at 132 with less than a minute left in overtime Thursday night when Kevin Durant lost control of the ball in the paint and chased it into the corner. Here’s what happened:...
The Warriors Had Themselves Another Very Normal One
The Warriors lost their second consecutive home game Thursday night, in a thrilling 110–109 overtime affair against the Portland Trail Blazers. Eventually none of this will matter, when the Warriors win the title and we all reflect on this time as a goofy period of intensely embarrassing overreactio...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
A Non-Exhaustive List Of Batshit Stuff That Happened During The Cal-TCU Bowl Game<em></em>
My beloved idiot sons, the California Golden Bears football team, somehow lost the worst college football game of the season last night to TCU, a 10-7 stinker that featured the worst interception you’ll see throughout bowl season, and also the second-worst. If those two weren’t enough for you, don’t...
This Is Almost Certainly The Worst Double-Pass Play You Will Ever See
Wednesday night’s excruciating bowl game between Cal and TCU featured 17 total points and nine combined interceptions, and needed an overtime field goal for the nominal winner to slink out of there with somehow even less dignity than their vanquished foe. Of those nine interceptions, believe it or n...
Jordan Pickford's Manuel Neuer Impression Ended In Disaster
Tottenham pantsed Everton something serious this afternoon, scoring six goals on the hapless Toffees. Their attack was ruthless and Everton never seemed to get up to speed. Son Heung-Min banged in the opener with a well-placed shot, though really, the story of that goal is Everton keeper Jordan Pic...