m Page 6766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...

The College World Series, DIRTY
• Ah, the ole' porn names game. Love it. [extrapolater] • Brian Urlacher has had it up to here with your RULES. [Foul Balls] • One should always smoke weed before a big game. [Kentucky.com] • Nike ads in Asia. [Deuce Of Davenport] • Everyone's being traded! [The Basketball Jones]...

This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....

Tony LaRussa Is Sexier Than You Think
We don't mean to imply that vegetarians are inherently unsexy people, but we think that maybe they need to upgrade the attractiveness level of their celebrities. One of the nominees for PETA's sexiest vegetarian is ... Tony LaRussa....

A Q&A With Sen. Chris Dodd
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...

In Which We Channel Our Inner Roger Ebert
MSNBC is ranking the five worst movie performances by an athlete-turned actor, to which we say, is there really any need to go beyond Kazaam? Apparently there is, and so we also get Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer, Roosevelt Grier in The Glove, Dennis Rodman in Double Team and Mitch Gaylord ...

No Number Eights!
• Kobe Bryant will not sign your old jerseys. [Log'sBlog] • Are people finally tired of hiring Larry Brown? [The 700 Level] • Who are the worst starters to ever play in the NBA Finals? [Winning The Turnover Battle] • Tom Hicks thinks Juan Gonzalez was his biggest mistake? Please. [Rumors And Rants] ...

And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...

Golfers, Getting Huge
MJD told you a little about this weekend, and it's certainly been discussed, but damn: Tiger Woods is really freaking jacked all of a sudden. It has some wondering whether Tiger's appearance is what inspired the PGA to finally instate steroid testing, just a few days after the U.S. Open and after ye...

Enjoy Your Night Of Watching Other People Be Drafted
This young man is Kendaris Pelton, a part-time player for Mississippi State Southern Mississippi. And by part-time, we mean that he played in seven games. And he has declared for the NBA Draft....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL with Jeffrey Chadiha: Girdle pads ... OK to wear to the movies? • 2 p.m. MLS w/Chivas MF Sacha Kljestan: I will look upon your treasures, gypsy. This is understood? • 4 p.m. Football scientist KC Joyner: You fool, that's too ...

Extending Some Helping Feet (A Lot Of Them)
Tuesday night, in a "Peace Match," Real Madrid traveled to Israel to play an exhibition match — a "friendly," if you will — against a team made of Israelites and Palestinians. A worthy, vastly important cause, one that speaks to the notion of soccer as a grand uniting game. Thirty thousand fans show...

All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....

About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....

The WWE Is Leaving No Stone Unturned
We didn't grow up watching much professional wrestling, so we don't have the solid foundation in its history as some of you might ... but we'll confess, for a writer/reporter, being brought into an ongoing WWE "feud" without your knowledge has to be quite the career highlight....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch now that you have a little freakin' peace and quiet ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter "Zucchini Bread" Manfredo Jr. vs. David "Mary Poppins" Banks, at Ledyard, Conn. [ESPN2] • College baseball: World Series, at Omaha, Oregon State vs. UC Irvine. When the Beavers meet the 'Eaters...

Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...

Nice Try, Mike
• Mike Conley thinks he's name-dropped in a new hip-hop song. We're not so sure. [Bad Idea Blue Jeans] • Latrell Sprewell's lawsuit against the New York Post is thrown out of court. [Law.com] • About that Michael Barrett trade. [Rumors And Rants] • Who has the easiest college football schedule? [Ker...
