m Page 6809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Warriors
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It's certainly one few would have anticipated....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving away your horse ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 1; Western Conference semifinals, Golden State at Utah, Game 1. Here we go again, Warriors fans. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference semifinals, Detroit at San Jose, Game 6. Feeding Frenzy in th...

We Wouldn't Believe Him If He Were Bleeding Like Nash
The most common complaint Americans have toward soccer is that the players are always flopping and diving and pretending like they're hurt. (One guy even tried to lamely defend it.) The flipside, and the side in which we can find a modicum of joy, is that the more a player earns a reputation for div...

Those Big-Market Sabres
• Congrats to the Buffalo Sabres, now the best selling merchandise team in the NHL. [Sports Business Journal] • Don't expect to see John Facenda doing many NFL voiceovers any more. [Sports Review Magazine] • Ronnie Brown appears to have put on a little weight. [Lt. Winslow] • Wait ... Oscar de la Ho...

He's Afraid The Defensive Line Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive
A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher....

When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....

Pet Me, Manny
• Manny Ramirez and Julian Taverez, sittin' in a tree ... [Random Thoughts] • Don't get too excited, Brewers fans. [On The Show] • Ben Broussard ruined some potential fun this weekend. [PopJocks] • So close, Wang, so close. [Slack Lalane] • An indulgent weekend in sports. [Awful Announcing] • So, ho...

Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...

The Sad Tale Of Tracy McGrady
We were pleased to see former Illini Deron Williams and Dee Brown advance to the Western Conference semifinals with the Jazz's win over the Rockets on Saturday night, but it brought us no joy to see the likable and seemingly doomed Tracy McGrady fail once again to push his team out of the first roun...

Dancing On Chelsea's Grave
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. AFL with Rush's Bobby Sippio: Wait; Arena League players have web sites now? • 3 p.m. Fantasy Baseball Focus: No, don't waste a pick on Clemens, you said. Probably won't play this year, you said. Why do I listen to you? • 4 p.m....

Steve Nash, Definitely A Bleeder
There are all kinds of disappointing ways for a tight, close NBA playoff game to end. A key player can be thrown out, a team can self-destruct, a naked man can run on the court ... there are all kinds of ways to transform a potential classic into a missed opportunity. But one of the worst has to be ...

Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......

It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...

Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed when your dad forces you to go to the stripper party ... • NBA: Don't worry girls, it's just a scratch ... Steve will be at the dance tonight. Spurs 111, Suns 106. • NHL: Sabres send Rangers home. Take that, Bloomberg. • MLB: Welcome to the majors, Timmy. Phillies 8, Giants 5....

Poor Mario Got Strung Out On Mushrooms
So a rockin' sports Saturday morphed into a pretty lazy sports Sunday that was redeemed only recently by an excellent Spurs/Suns game that featured over 215 points and several gallons of Steve Nash's blood. The Spurs did hang on to take Game One....

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Phillies @ Giants. Cole Hamels vs. Tim Lincecum. • 9:00, ESPNU. SportsCenterU. 2007 NCAA Men's Lacrosse Selection Show. What lucky ESPN personality drew this plum assignment? • 9:00, NBC. Saturday Night Live in the '90s. Pop Culture Nation. Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet would make...