m Page 6815 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while going through your baseball card collection ... • MLB: St. Louis at Milwaukee. Gentlemen, it's time to fire up the 12-person beer bong! [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, first round, Utah at Houston, Game 5; San Antonio at Denver, Game 4. Jazz hope they are eliminated before new season of ...

Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...

Vlade Divac, Counterfeiter?
• Vlade Divac, being sued over cologne. [WBRS Sports Blog] • Charles Barkley and the Golden State fans are having some fun with each other. [Merc Extra] • This is pretty much exactly what was going through Brady Quinn's mind on Saturday. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • This guy live-blogged the ENTIRE NFL D...

It's A Vacuum AND A Haircutter!
Tired of watching your favorite athletes struggle under the pressures of posing for pictures and signing autographs? Wish someone could do something, to make a difference?...

The Seventh Floor Crew Takes Over The NFL
At the end of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears drafted tight end Greg Olsen. If you don't recognize Olsen's name, you can hark back to the halcyon days of November 2005, when Olsen dropped some beats as a member of the Seventh Floor Crew. (He's n...

You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...

Introducing The Comment Ombudsman
We are extremely proud to have the most dynamic, electric, SUPER HAPPY FUN OUTSTANDING comment section on this here Internets; you guys provide about 76 percent of our daily entertainment, with the rest filled in by re-reading Andy Rooney books, Cardinals DVDs and listening to old Woody Allen comedy...

We're Back From The Snack Bar; What'd We Miss?
We here at Deadspin are proud to announce our first unassisted triple play. We're so proud. Colorado shortstop Troy Tulowitzki worked the magic against the Braves in the seventh inning of a tie game on Sunday. With runners on first and second, Tulowitzki caught Chipper Jones' line drive, then steppe...

The Last Guy Is The Best Guy
• This is a truly outstanding Mr. Irrelevant. [Winning The Turnover Battle] • John Kruk's hair is making a run for the border. [The Sports Hernia] • Fun with NFL Draft racial stereotypes! [Seattlest] • This Warriors series is amazing. [100 Percent Injury Rate] • Some more lessons from the NFL Draft....

Man U Makes Dreams Come True
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...

Heat Don't Make Much Of A Fuss About Leaving
A byproduct of the supposedly middling, uninspiring champions of the last year — the Colts, the Cardinals, the Heat — is the collapse to level soil the next season. A team that overachieves in the postseason one year is likely to return to equilibrium the next. We'll see what happens with the Colts,...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NBA Insider John Hollinger: So is Mark Cuban shitting actual bricks right now, and if so, will they be on eBay? • 2 p.m. Boxer Wladimir Kitschko: How many times have you seen Red Heat? • 3 p.m. Fantasy Injury Focus: Is Griffey's anus o...

Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....

R.I.P., Josh Hancock
A week and a half ago, our parents went to San Francisco, ostensibly to visit our sister. As is always the case with the Leitches, they tied their visit to a Cardinals game; they come to New York once a year too, whenever the Cardinals come to Shea. These yearly visits, and their (and our sister's) ...

That's It For The Mavericks, Folks! Please Drive Safely
How quickly we forget the last time the East Bay lost a major chunk of freeway: 1989, when the Loma Prieta earthquake performed the honors. The Oakland Athletics won the World Series a couple of weeks later, of course. On Sunday it was Cledus Snow, sans Bandit, jack-knifing his rig in a fiery crash ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck on the tarmac ... • NBA: Bulls beat Heat 92-79 to advance to ... oh no, Todd just had a heart attack! • We're three losses from Joe Torre returning to Yankee Stadium to find all of his crap out in the parking lot. Red Sox 7, Yankees 4. • NASCAR: What? Gordon won? That's s...

Think Twice Before Kicking Jimmy's Sorry Ass
If I did ever happen to find myself in a fight with Jimmy, he couldn't do anything to me worse than subject me to this woman's profane shrieking. Please, dude, can you stop whaling on Jimmy for a second, and Marty McSorley this broad?...
