mac Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Thunder Finally Cut Loose
The Oklahoma City Thunder have not been a very fun basketball team to watch this season, which is a weird thing to say about a team featuring many players who are known for doing spectacular things on a basketball court. It’s not even the 16-15 record that’s been a downer, but the gross basketball t...
I Can't Wait To See Tech Dweebs Own Themselves By Wearing These Things On Their Faces
Listen. I am old. And one of the things that happened along my way to becoming old was that I recognized, and even came to derive some comfort from recognizing, that the things I value—privacy, the company of my loved ones, good health, not having what look like limo-tinted jeweler’s glasses from th...
Michael Beasley Is Just Cruel
The Oklahoma City Thunder narrowly topped the Philadelphia 76ers in an insane triple-overtime slugfest Friday night. You can imagine, they were therefore not at their most energetic Saturday night, playing the second leg of a back-to-back, in New York. Still, the Knicks, without Kristaps Porzingis, ...
Today In Fake Sports News: Jacksonville Jaguars Declare Bankruptcy, Because Of Thugs
If you are like most NFL fans, you were surprised to learn on Facebook yesterday—or the day before that, or last week—that a NFL team was preparing to declare bankruptcy due to, uh, the entitled and ungrateful thugs and the kneeling during the national anthem and the veterans there’s so many and you...
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, ...
"They're Not Gonna Keep 'Em Off The Field Tonight!"
Just go with it: ...
Report: Manny Machado Is For Sale
Is the hot stove hot? Let’s see here, yes, it looks like the stove is simmering a bit. ...
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog<em></em>
Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door....
Lomachenko-Rigondeaux, High-Tech Dreams And Mechanical Reality
NEW YORK — On Saturday evening, midtown Manhattan was afflicted by plagues. A snowstorm had turned the crosswalks into slushy lagoons. SantaCon had drawn thousands of drunken Jersey residents dressed as Saint Nick into the city’s streets, where they yelled and WOOOO-ed and eroded the quality of life...
Lomachenko Vs. Rigondeaux Was Never Even Close To Competitive
Last night’s ESPN super fight was a strange one, even before the opening bell. A fighter moving up two weight classes for a fight isn’t especially uncommon; a 37-year-old fighter, whose style is mostly to not punch, moving up two weight classes to fight a man eight years his junior who has massive s...
Vasyl Lomachenko Vs. Guillermo Rigondeaux Is Boxing Fuckery At Its Finest
Vasyl Lomachenko is a gizmo. “Hi-Tech” is a fitting sobriquet for the fighter whose ring style is a dizzying arsenal of bells, whistles, buzzers, beepers, and blinking lights....
Alabama Beats Out Ohio State For Final College Football Playoff Slot
The first three teams announced for the college football playoff were no surprise. Clemson was number one, after their savage beatdown of Miami last night, and they were followed by Big 12 champion Oklahoma and SEC champs Georgia, who will play each other in the Rose Bowl....
Auburn Beats Top-Ranked Alabama
The Auburn Tigers earned their biggest win in almost exactly four years this afternoon at Jordan-Hare Stadium, defeating Alabama in the Iron Bowl with a comprehensive performance ending in a 26-14 win....
Alabama Forced To Play More Than Ten Minutes With Only Three Players, Nearly Comes Back To Win
Alabama’s 25th-ranked team faced off against Minnesota in one of today’s marquee men’s basketball games, only to see its entire bench ejected after this brouhaha that, after another foul and an injury, left the team to play more than ten minutes with just three players. AND THEY CAME BACK....
Clutch Time Appears To No Longer Be Westbrook Time
Remember last season, when Russell Westbrook was an incredible monster, and his clutch performance was the stuff of legend? Remember how the Thunder outperformed their point differential by dominating those clutch situations? Remember how they went a shocking 26-16 in games that were within five poi...
Lane Kiffin Has A Video Of Nick Saban Dancing At Karaoke And Selfishly Hasn't Shared It
There are several interesting tidbits in ESPN’s profile of Lane Kiffin today, but the best ones are those on Kiffin’s relationship with former boss Nick Saban. There’s this one, about Kiffin continuing to text the Alabama coach even though he knows he’s not ever going to get any response: ...
Nick Saban: What's The Deal With Jeans?
Alabama football coach Nick Saban, a man who won’t even crack a smile while his team is beating some cupcake by 31 points, began Wednesday’s press conference with a quick little bit for the assembled media: Jeans are crazy these days, right?...
How Not To Make Coffee
How you make coffee is, you bring the dried and roasted and probably ground seeds of a Coffea plant together with some water, typically hot, for some period of time, and this turns the water into coffee. That’s it. It is not a complicated procedure....
The Thunder Still Have An Awful Lot To Figure Out<em></em>
You will not be surprised to learn that the Sacramento Kings—a team with five rookies in the rotation and 10 players on rookie deals on the roster—set a record for first-half offensive futility against the Oklahoma City Thunder last night and farted up 23 turnovers. After all, the Thunder are led by...
Hurdles: They Can Go Wrong
Minkah Fitzpatrick is now out of tonight’s LSU-Alabama game, but not before targeting Russell Gage’s dick and balls as the Tigers receiver tried to hurdle the All-American:...