mac Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Awaiting the ESPYs, But (Still) Missing Norm MacDonald
It's the Wednesday after the MLB All-Star Game, which means if the Triple-A All-Star Game isn't your bag, your only other "sports" programming option for the evening is the ESPYs. Seth Meyers is hosting, but don't count on the gags to be nearly as subversive as some at the WWL will have you believe...

Randy Savage Tribute Show Ends With Crooked Promoter Running Off With The Cash
As oftentimes happens when wrestlers fall ill or pass away, a Florida promoter put together a tribute show for Randy "Macho Man" Savage. These things are always fun: a bunch of old friends and co-workers show up, put on a fun little show in the memory of their buddy, and the gate receipts go to char...

The Seth Meyers-Lynn Hoppes Pre-ESPYs Bro-Down Skewers ESPN
Last we checked in on Page 2's Lynn Hoppes, he was breathlessly name-dropping third-tier celebrities, en route to this whole thing. (Of note: ESPN has since pulled the offending Hoppes video from its YouTube account. Did Brock Lesnar's attorneys complain?) Hoppes is ESPN's expert in the macho-tinged...

What To Do When You Realize That Horrible Smell Is You
Experts say that to eliminate body odor, one should stick to a diet rich in vegetables and take chlorophyll supplements and wear loose-fitting clothing and bathe regularly and always wear socks with closed-toe shoes and think only pleasant, floral thoughts. But that advice is worth fuck-all when you...

Broken Backboard, Bloody Face
Oregon State athletes are in the middle of a service tour (delightfully called "Beavers Without Borders") and at a recent stop in Macedonia, sophomore guard Roberto Nelson shattered the backboard on a putback dunk. Maybe it's because they don't use safety glass in Macedonia, or maybe it's because ...

Of Course The Pill-Popping Couple Charged With Four Pharmacy Murders Got Engaged At An Islanders Game
Per the New York Daily News, "A pill-popping, gun-loving Army vet and his junkie wife were charged Wednesday night in the cold-blooded massacre of four innocent people at a Long Island pharmacy. David Laffer and Melinda Brady were hauled out of his mother's Medford, L.I., house in handcuffs after h...

Time To Get Bent Out Of Shape Over Kevin Durant Dissing OKC
"What's there to do in Oklahoma for fun?"...

Kevin Durant Makes Us Wish The NBA Season Never Ended
Kevin Durant was playing in L.A.'s Drew League this past weekend, the renowned pro-am summer league that features professional, collegiate, and amateur players from around the country. For us, there's twofold joy to this self-assisted alley-oop Durant threw down on a breakaway for team Go HAM: One...

At Least One Newspaper Thinks The Heat Won
They're looking to punch every one of you in the gut with a Macy's ad congratulating the Heat on their title, and offering championship gear for sale. Which...still doesn't really make a lot of sense, considering that if Miami had won last night, the series would still be going on. Oh well. Instead ...

The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....

Colt McCoy's Wife Says Texas Boosters Are Too Generous With Their "Fishing Trips And Hunts, Here Or There"
Here's Mrs. McCoy on ESPN's The Herd, doing some NCAA detective work: "You cannot expect 19, 20 year-old kids to say no to free stuff when they're in college." She says a bunch of McCoy's Texas teammates couldn't resist free stuff from agents or boosters....

Cubs Pitcher Can't Break A Bat Over His Leg Unless Given Two Attempts
After watching his pitcher lose his shit after a Houston Astro struck him out, Cubs manager Mike Quade compared Carlos Zambrano to Cosmo Kramer....

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

More Bad Madness On The Sepp Blatter Campaign Trail
A week before FIFA's presidential elections, another evil-smelling troll has escaped from the basement of Sepp Blatter's Swiss chalet. The current source of horror: Mohamed bin Hammam, Blatter's rival in the elections, was charged yesterday with offering bribes to members of the Caribbean Football U...

An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday....

There Was A Poignant, Action Figure-Only Funeral For The Macho Man In A Backyard This Weekend
Your morning roundup for May 23, the day Beyoncé ran the world. Staged Macho Man funeral via HuggingHaroldReynolds.com....

Your Mavericks/Thunder Game Three Open Thread
Dallas and Oklahoma City resume their NBA Western Conference Championship amid cover-ups relating to Russell Westbrook-gate and worries about the Mavericks's "suddenly shaky defense."...

It Was Totally Not Brendan Haywood's Fault That Kevin Durant Posterized Him, Says Brendan Haywood
Remember this dunk? Of course you do. It was awesome. Brendan Haywood, whose greatest skill has traditionally been being marginally better than Erick Dampier or Etan Thomas, remembers it too....

Russell Westbrook's Quarter On The Bench Is A Nice Reminder That The NBA Has Coaches
Here's the play, courtesy of Sebastian Pruiti over at the NBA Playbook, that allegedly motivated Scott Brooks to bench his starting point guard for the entire fourth quarter last night. It was, initially, a nerve-racking move to take in: you expect a young team to fold in on itself without its you...