mad Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sergio Ramos May Have Earned Himself A Suspension With His Big, Dumb Mouth
When you’re part of a top European soccer club, it’s probably easy to forget that the rules, at least in theory, apply to you as well. Whether that’s Manchester City wiping their collective asses with the Financial Fair Play regulations, or Barcelona players gleefully indulging in tapping up (the eq...
At Least Real Madrid's Lost Season Has Given Us The Rise Of Vinícius
At just 18 years old, in his first season in Europe, Brazilian forward Vinícius Júnior has already carved out a significant role for himself in Real Madrid’s squad. His emergence as a valuable and now arguably a critical component of one of the best teams in the world happened way faster than anyone...
<i>Madden</i> Is As Full Of Anonymous Players As The NFL Itself
It’s hardly a selling point, but this year’s edition of Madden has the real Kyle Lauletta. The game’s rendering of the Giants’ rookie quarterback—who stepped into a blowout win against Washington in Week 13 to throw five incompletions and a pick and then meekly returned to clipboard and donut-gofer ...
Torrey Smith Shows No Mercy On His Son In <i>Madden</i>
Panthers receiver Torrey Smith has been recognized here in the past for his outstanding sports baby—he and his wife Chanel now have three outstanding sports babies—but this was not one of T.J.’s finer moments. The tyke hopped on the sticks with his dad and got his ass whooped in Madden....
Real Madrid Is In A Pit of Sadness Right Now
When the ghost of Santi Cazorla is out here scoring braces on you for a team in the relegation zone, maybe your season’s not going so hot. And so, while the rest of the soccer world was watching the Manchester City-Liverpool banger, Real Madrid were busy writing the newest chapter of their disappoin...
Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....
Ousmane Dembélé Has The Sickest Pump-Fake In The World
For Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona’s match against Atlético Madrid this weekend had to feel familiar. He started the game on the bench for the fourth La Liga match running, a reflection of the French wunderkind’s continued struggles to ingratiate himself with his teammates and manager thanks his now wel...
Report: Not Even FIFA Wants To Back This Stupid European Super League
Arguably the most corrupt sporting body in the world announced on Wednesday that it would actively work against the potential creation of a breakaway European Super League. The announcement was in response to a report from Der Spiegel that showed clubs like Bayern Munich and Real Madrid were alleged...
Julen Lopetegui Shit-Canned From The Job Of His Dreams Four Months After Being Shit-Canned From The Job Of His Dreams<em></em>
Pour one out for Julen Lopetegui, who has had just about the worst possible year a soccer manager can have. Real Madrid fired Lopetegui this afternoon, one day after an embarrassing 5-1 ass-kicking by Messi-less Barcelona, thus ending a nightmare of a year....
Barcelona Crushed Real Madrid And The Endless Cycle Of Death And Rebirth Begins Anew
Sunday’s edition of El Clásico between Barcelona and Real Madrid might have lacked the star-power and extraterrestrial individual greatness that Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo—both absent from the match for the first time in 11 years—always brought to the affair, but that doesn’t mean this world...
This Weekend Is The First <i>Clásico</i> Of The Rest Of Our Lives
The defining feature of the past decade of international soccer has been the enduring struggle of two opposing forces: Lionel Messi vs. Cristiano Ronaldo, Barcelona vs. Real Madrid. Two of the very best soccer players to ever live, their abilities maximized to the fullest extent possible thanks to m...
The Red Sox Are Rolling And It Blows
The Red Sox took a 2–0 lead in the World Series Wednesday night. It is befitting of this hell universe that another Boston sports team is on the cusp of winning a championship....
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
Madison Bumgarner And Ryan Braun Started A Nice Little Feud
Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun had a tense standoff Sunday with Giants workhorse Madison Bumgarner, after the latter threw inside and pegged the former. With this, Bumgarner loaded the bases with two outs and paid dearly....
The Rules of Football, As I Understand Them
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
Now Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Calling Out The NFL Over Colin Kaepernick
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the former president of Iran and a man of many sports takes, has now come to the defense of Colin Kaepernick, the out-of-work quarterback....
Atletico Madrid B Captain Takes Bite Out Of New Real Madrid Signing
When 18-year-old Brazilian forward Vinícius Júnior was signed to Real Madrid on a €45 million transfer this summer, there was probably some expectation on his end that his footballing life would change for the better....
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is On Twitter, And He's Got Sports Takes
If you read about the French Open’s plan to change its dress code, all because Serena Williams wore a catsuit at the tournament this year, and thought, Hmm I wonder what former Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad thinks about this, well, now you know....
The Big Ugly Battle Over The World's Largest Rubber Duck
SANDUSKY, Ohio — There is more than one enormous rubber duck. I did not know this when I decided to travel to Sandusky to see one, but I can’t unlearn it now. Though there was once a bigger duck in Saint-Nazaire, France, the monstrosity anchored in Sandusky comes with a registered trademark: it is t...