mad Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Muslim Sports Heroes Kareem Abdul-Jabbar And Muhammad Ali Condemn Donald Trump
A flopped-over traffic cone named Donald Trump who is uncomfortably close to controlling America’s nuclear arsenal has spent the last several days whipping up a xenophobic frenzy against Muslims, and among other things expressed bafflement at the possibility that there existed Muslim sports heroes....
Real Madrid Can't Even Beat Barcelona At Trolling
It’s only natural that the biggest rivalry in all of soccer is regularly fraught with verbal jabs and needles back and forth, as Barcelona and Real Madrid fans and players seek to show up their eternal enemies. This season has already offered a few moments ripe for the kind of hilarious sparring eve...
Real Madrid Ousted From Copa Del Rey, Proving (For Now) That Spain Isn't Hopelessly Corrupt
Well I’ll be. Of course it was obvious that Real Madrid broke the rules by starting a suspended player in Wednesday’s Copa del Rey match. And of course the club’s justifications for why they shouldn’t be punished were bullshit. But it was still hard to envision that the capital club would actually s...
Dumb Mistake Might've Just Disqualified Real Madrid From Copa Del Rey
Today, Real Madrid played the first leg of their Copa del Rey tie against Cádiz. Real won 3-1, thanks in part to a goal from Denis Cheryshev. Unfortunately, Cheryshev’s presence on the pitch is also why they’re probably going to be knocked out of the competition....
Eat Shit, Real Madrid! You Aren’t Getting Neymar!
Real Madrid are at a crossroads. Perilously near the end of the Cristiano Ronaldo era—which, while being incredibly fruitful for the player himself, has been something of a disappointment in terms of trophies—the club needs to decide who will lead them into the next epoch, where they hope to fare be...
Florentino Pérez Is What's Wrong With Real Madrid
After seeing how summarily Barcelona dispensed with Real Madrid, the temptation is to lay the blame at the feet of their first-year manager, Rafa Benítez. That seems to be the way club president Florentino Pérez is leaning. (Benítez has even received the dreaded vote of confidence! The end is nigh!)...
Sergi Roberto's Stunning Emergence Proves Barcelona Are Firing On All Cylinders
Of everything that happened in this Clásico—a half-strength Barcelona waltzing into the Bernabéu and not only beating a full-strength Real Madrid team that desperately needed a win, but pummeling them in gloriously humiliating fashion; the notoriously careful Rafa Benítez basically being pressured b...
Barcelona Takes Early Lead In <i>El </i><em>Clásico </em>With Sweet Luis Suarez Goal
Luiz Suarez put Barcelona up early in today’s El Clásico with this slick finish. While the goal itself was quite good, Sergi Roberto’s smart running and perfectly timed layoff with the outside of his foot were even better....
Real Madrid Really Can't Afford To Lose To Barcelona In <i>El Clásico</i>
What a difference a year makes, eh?...
Sergio Ramos Smashes In Spinning Bicycle Kick Goal
Real Madrid are up 1-0 to Sevilla thanks to this insane Sergio Ramos bicycle kick. Look at the spin on that thing!...
Chinese Commentator Fired For Snoring In Middle Of Champions League Game
The deep and hearty snores you hear are from Chinese commentator Dong Lu during this week’s Real Madrid-PSG Champions League match, and he’s not taking a sly jab at the quality of play. Apparently, Dong really did fall asleep during the game, and his network fired him for it....
French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....
Fallen Striker Edinson Cavani Spasms His Way Out Of A Goal
Edinson Cavani was once one of Europe’s most fearsome strikers, coveted the world over thanks to his domination of Serie A for Napoli. He had it all: a long, lanky frame to nod in goals with his forehead, a loping stride that sped him around the pitch and onto through balls much quicker than you’d e...
Lee Corso Does Butt Chugs: Today's James Madison <i>College GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
College GameDay made its annual FCS site visit, this time to Harrisonburg for today’s James Madison-Richmond matchup. The signs... are mostly regrettable....
Ref Chosen For <i>El Clásico</i> Claims He Was Ordered To Favor Real Madrid
A Spanish referee has filed a complaint with local police, claiming that upon notice that he was to be selected as the line judge in next month’s Real Madrid-Barcelona match, his bosses made it clear that he was to make decisions in favor of the Madrid club....
There Are Levels To This Violence
“Had I an enemy whom I wished to ruin, body and soul, I would ask no more than to turn him out into the company of pugilists and their clique, and the matter would be effected without delay.”-The Spirit of the Times, 1832....
Ultimate Tom Brady Fan Has Fierce & Foul Words
Ahh, a Michigan Man. Is there anything he can’t accomplish through a flourish of words and a commanding gesture? This is excellent broadcast work by ESPN, here. ...
Report: Martin Scorsese Drops Cristiano Ronaldo From New Movie
Last month, Martin Scorsese reportedly cast Cristiano Ronaldo in his upcoming movie, The Manipulator, which is apparently about mega-rich Italian real estate agent Alessandro Proto. The Italian has claimed that he is, in fact, the inspiration for the titular Christian Grey of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”...
Gareth Bale's Loud-Mouth Agent Might Have Talked Himself Out Of A Job
Earlier this week, Gareth Bale’s agent, Jonathan Barnett, proclaimed in an interview that Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo don’t hate each other. Rather than assuaging the situation, it appears that all the agent succeeded at was getting Bale to hate him....
Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane
Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has wo...