mad Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo Likens Ugly Tackle To Rugby; Rugby World Turns Stupid
Cristiano Ronaldo was none too happy about his early exit from last week's Champions League match between Real Madrid and Ludogorets, necessitated by this late challenge in the final minutes. After the game, the winger described the tackle thus: "It was a very ugly tackle and it seemed as if we were...

Thirteen Ways Of Looking At Greg Maddux
A record producer friend once told me that Check Your Head, the Beastie Boys' 3rd album, was perfectly realized. That's stuck with me over the years, the idea of being able to achieve something that lives up to your ambition. In a 1978 Playboy Interview, Bob Dylan said: "The closest I ever got to t...


Madison Bumgarner Pitches Gem As Giants Advance In Playoffs
En route to winning the 2010 World Series, San Francisco Giants play-by-play announcer Duane Kuiper coined a slogan to describe the team's penchant for winning tight games: "Giants Baseball...Torture." In 2012 they went down 0–2 in the NLDS and 1–3 in the NLCS before beating Detroit to win their s...

So, Uh, Josh Gordon Had To Make Friends With A Horse In Weed Rehab
This right here is what the dumbest extreme of the dimmest science attached to the moron NFL image machinery looks like. ...

Pain And Violence As A Way Of Life: Muhammad Ali-George Chuvalo II
Leonard Gardner is the author of one of the finest sports novels ever written, Fat City, a masterpiece of the terse style that is, in the words of Denis Johnson, “so precisely written and giving such value to its words that I felt I could almost read it with my fingers, like Braille.” Gardner also ...

Kosmic Mother Funk Grand Cru: A Sour Beer Worth Road-Tripping For
The Boston Beer Company confounds me. I do like their most famous and best-selling beer, Samuel Adams Boston Lager: It's a seminal brew in many a Masshole's drunken coming of age, mine included, and a large, unbalanced load of the Internet holds this fact against us. I can't swing a dead Yuengling a...

Can A Ref With No Red Card Send Someone Off? One Player Investigates
It’s an interesting question, one that Guingamp’s Benjamin Angoua tried valiantly to answer this weekend when, as the ref tried to show a red to a teammate, Angoua nipped and slapped at the card, hoping the ref would either listen to reason or get tired of trying to snatch the damn thing out of the ...

Bumgarner Hits Puig, Sets Off Bench-Clearing Panel Discussion
There's no brawl here. Let's get that straight off the top. But the bad blood that's existed all season between Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner and Dodgers bat-flip enthusiast Yasiel Puig reared up again tonight in Los Angeles with a simple hit by pitch....

Music Video Made Of Madden GIFs Is Really Stupid And Funny
I don't know if it's just because it's the late afternoon and I'm feeling a little loopy, or if it's the unexpected presence of Evanescence—anyone knows what's good with Evanescence these days?—or the triumphant vibe of Geno Smith's spike, but this dumb video is making me laugh a lot. I hope it make...

Stay In Your Goal, Goalie
Atlético Madrid goalie Miguel Ángel Moyà gets a little carried away with his creep toward the far post, not believing that there's a scoring chance to be had. But he was not counting on the combination of Pablo Hernández's left heel and imagination. That's a beaut, right there....

James Rodríguez Opens La Liga Account With Beautifully Struck Goal
Real Madrid president Florentino Pérez may not have any understanding of soccer tactics, but he does know flash when he sees it, and Colombian World Cup standout James Rodríguez is certainly flashy. With Madrid up 1-0 in today's game against Deportivo La Coruña, Rodríguez took a pass from Karim Be...

Real Madrid President: I'm Stupid, Not Crooked
It's maybe a little disconcerting when the president of the richest club in the world—the brains behind all significant player transfers coming in and out, a man so determined to fulfill his dream of a star-studded lineup that he'll jettison the one player that makes his team work in favor of a bigg...

Zinedine Zidane Pretends He Doesn't Manage Team He Obviously Manages
Real Madrid have been fast tracking club legend Zinedine Zidane to the manager's chair for a while now. He's gone from first team assistant to reserve team head coach in just over a year. Thing is, Zidane did not have the right qualifications for the latter position and now faces sanctions. Real Mad...

Joe Girardi Says Rays Pitchers Aren't Good Enough To Safely Pitch Inside
The race for third place in the AL East is a snippy one, with the Ray's honoring Derek Jeter before last night's game, then clipping him with a fastball in on the hands. Afterward Joe Girardi blasted the Rays for hitting so many Yankees batters recently, but with a twist: instead of accusing them of...

Atlético Madrid Prove La Liga Is Still A Three-Team Title Fight
Heading into the weekend, the seventh Madrid derby of 2014 was the biggest match on the slate, just like it was the best match of the preseason during the Spanish Supercup, and just like it was the biggest match in the entire sport during the Champions League final a few months earlier. This one d...

Jeremy Lin Pulls The Wax-Statue Prank On His Mom And Some Other Fools
Jeremy Lin is the latest NBA player to participate in the age-old tradition of going to Madame Tussauds and scaring the crap out of people by pretending to be a wax figure....