mad Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Those Plucky FGCU Basketball Players Live On An Actual Beach
You may think "Hollywood Upstairs Medical College" or "Ponzi scheme" when you hear "Florida Gulf Coast University," but that's not fair: FGCU—which looks like what you see above—is very much a real place, with documented students, and classes, and dorms and stuff. Indeed, that picture, provided by C...
Shabazz Muhammad Is Exactly One Year Older Than We All Thought
Yesterday, as UCLA was gearing up for its first tournament game (an upset loss to Minnesota), the Los Angeles Times published a profile of the father of Pac-12 freshman of the year Shabazz Muhammad. The piece revealed, among other odd things, that he had been lying about his son's age for some time—...
A New Mexico Beat Writer Actually Quit His Job Because Of The Harvard Loss
Dennis Latta is the editor of Loboland.com, a site in the Rivals.com network that is dedicated to covering University of New Mexico athletics. He has been covering the men's basketball team for 33 years. Somehow, during all that time, he never learned how to handle his favorite team losing like a gr...
What Happened In The Game? We Called Every Tourney Team's Local Applebee's To Find Out
The Applebeat was born when two writers without smartphones needed to know the score of an NBA playoff game. "Every town has an Applebee's," we thought. We tracked down an Oklahoma City Applebee's number with the assistance of an underworked 411 operator, and then, thanks to the establishment's frie...
Harvard's Basketball Team Works Better Than Harvard
Sometimes Harvard Yard literally smells like bullshit. The grass takes a regular beating from the weather and the footsteps of mathematicians eager to find the shortest path to class. So, a few times a year, to spruce it up for the brochures and the visiting parents, the grounds crew gives it a fat ...
Wanna Know What Happens In A March Madness Game Slightly Before It Airs On TV? Use This Password
Sure, it's the most boring way to watch the year's most exciting sporting event. But it might help you win money from dopes at the bar....
We Need To Talk About The Harvard Band
This picture is art. I can't stop looking at it. It almost made me happy for Harvard, in some demented, twisted way—that is, until I looked up the Harvard athletics band, to find more about those wondrous facial expressions, and found this informational paragraph:...
John Calipari Is Having A Really Great Spring Break In The Big Apple
Earlier this week, after failing to get a nod for the Big Dance, the Kentucky Wildcats–the winningest team in the history of the men's NCAA tournament—lost to Robert Morris in the first round of the National Invitation Tournament. It was a low point. But you know who's cruising right along, content ...
All The Angry Emails Sent To UCLA By Fans Who Hated The Ugly New Zubaz-Style Uniforms
Three weeks ago, Adidas rolled out special basketball uniforms for Cincinnati, Kansas, Baylor, UCLA, Louisville, and Notre Dame, to be worn in the teams’ conference tournaments. Each uniform featured Zubaz-like camo shorts, camo shoes, and three of the uniforms—UCLA, Louisville and Baylor—came with ...
Vote, Dipshits: The First Round Of The Curse Word Bracket Continues
We're opening up the Potpourri and Compound Swear Word Regionals for voting now, so go ahead and choose your favorite curse word down below. The first two regions have seen their voting go pretty much according to plan, with a handful of exceptions (like 11-seed "rimjob" beating out 6-seed "clit")....
Holy Crap, New Mexico State's Center Is Enormous
If you're watching the New Mexico State-Saint Louis game, surely you've noticed Sim Bhullar, the Aggies' man-mountain of a center. He's listed at 7'5", 360 pounds. That's five pounds more than the combined weight of St. Louis's starting backcourt this afternoon. He's a big boy....
Here's How To Avoid Commercials When Watching The Games Online
Ugh—never say those bastards at the NCAA aren't canny. The otherwise useful March Madness Live website, which allows you to watch every game, so long as you have a proper cable or satellite subscriber login, bans the viewer from switching games during commercials. More than once already today, I hav...
OK, What The Hell Channel Is TruTv?
TruTV, formerly Court TV, is part of the Turner family of networks, and as such is hosting eight games of the NCAA Tournament today and tomorrow. But what goddamned channel is it on? We've annotated the above map with the TruTV channel numbers on major cable providers for the 10 largest television m...
The 13 Most Annoying Men Of March Madness
We've done enough loving on March Madness this week. March Madness is a wonderful time of the year, but it is also to be hated on: The fluffy mascots dancing around like they own the place, the pepped-out pep squads cheering like they actually believe in something, the crabby coaches, the clueless a...
Still Filling Out Your NCAA Tournament Bracket? Consult Our Handy Expert Metabracket
Presenting your 2013 NCAA Tournament Metabracket. Click the annotations to see which teams Nate Silver, Joe Lunardi, Seth Davis, Barack Obama, Matt Norlander, Jay Bilas, and Luke Winn picked to advance through each round. (Click the "Next" button in the lower right corner to see the Sweet 16 and onw...
Behold: The Ultimate Curse Word Bracket
Swearing is important and cathartic and fun and totally makes you seem hip and edgy when you do it. There's a whole lot of hot, sweaty NCAA tournament action coming up this week, which means there will be plenty of FUCKS and SHITS and GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS blurted out across the country as bracket ...
I Got Paid To Cheer For Another NCAA Tournament Team, And Other Confessions Of A Spirit Squad Member
Class is in session at my university this week, but I won't be there. I'll be a part of March Madness, but I'm not a basketball player. I'm a member of my school's band, which makes me a member of the "spirit squad"—the peppy umbrella term that also encompasses our school's cheerleaders and mascot. ...