MLS Conference Final Highlights The Best In North American Soccer
Or not:
The Skeptics' MLS Season Preview
There are plenty of reasons not to watch MLS. The soccer’s kinda boring, there’s a healthy dose of Soviet-ish central planning to the whole operation, and the league’s marketing is extremely “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?” If you’re hoping for EPL quality or at least Argentine Second Division quality, well, look…
Court Docs: MLS Coach Spanked Players, Called Concussed Players Pussies And More
In 2012, the Philadelphia Union fired then-coach Peter Nowak. The ongoing legal battle over that firing has made public the disturbing allegations that got Nowak canned. They include Nowak spanking rookie players, sometimes with a sandal, to the point where it hurt his own hand; belittling concussions; throwing water…
MLS Match Interrupted By Sprinklers
Get it together, MLS.
Why MLS May Be Headed For A Work Stoppage
Over the next few months, officials from Major League Soccer and the MLS Players Union will meet periodically in New York City to negotiate MLS's new collective bargaining agreement, the rules that set the terms of employment between the owners and the players.
Jozy Altidore, The Striker Who Never Was, Is Coming Back Home
Yesterday, news broke that perennial Premier League bottom feeders Sunderland had reached a swap deal with Major League Soccer. American striker Jozy Altidore is leaving Sunderland for MLS's Toronto FC. English striker Jermain Defoe, who just joined Toronto FC from Tottenham last summer, is going to Sunderland. The…
Getting Ready For MLS? Allow Us To Convince You Otherwise
It's about that time of the year again! Timber Joey is gassing up his chainsaw, Thierry Henry is stretching those creaking joints, and Michael Bradley is getting ready to lace up his boots, the prodigal son back on (well, North) American soil after so many years away. Yep, Major League Soccer, the land of has-beens…
Why Won't The Premier League Protect Its Players From Concussions?
Sports are brutal. Just a few weeks ago, we all watched boxer Francisco Leal get knocked out, never to regain consciousness. People who watch football, hockey or lacrosse see broken bones, ripped ligaments, spinal injuries, and concussions on an almost weekly basis. These are viewed as gladiator sports, in which…
An Abu Dhabi Sheik Is About To Buy A New York MLS Expansion Team
Back in August, we heard noise from a deep-money source that a United Arab Emirates sheik was prepared to pay a ton of money for a New York-based MLS team. The owner was reportedly lobbying for "crazy benefits and tax breaks."
The Houston Chronicle Won't Cover Tonight's Dynamo Match, So We're Liveblogging It
Houston Dynamo are riding a 20-game home unbeaten streak and host Toronto FC tonight looking for a win that could put them tied with New York Red Bulls for second place in the MLS East.
New York City Is About To Get A New MLS Team That Might Be Owned By A Rich Dude From Dubai
The New York Post reports today that the city is on the verge of approving a deal for a $300 million stadium that would be little more than a corner kick from CitiField and Arthur Ashe Stadium in Flushing Meadows Corona Park.
Columbus Crew Midfielder Kirk Urso Is Dead At 22
Columbus Crew midfielder Kirk Urso is dead, according to a press release from the MLS team. There's no cause announced, and we'll be sure to update as soon as we hear anything else.
Major League Soccer Wants Nothing To Do With The Boy Scouts Anymore
Just days after the Boy Scouts of America confirmed it was still a haven for the ignorant, Major League Soccer announced that it will not renew its relationship with the badge-obsessed group before the ink could even dry on the agreement. The two organizations announced their relationship, termed an "alliance" by the…
What The Fuck Is Major League Soccer Sending Us?
Our fearless leader, Tommy Craggs, received this message in his inbox a few hours ago from an employee of Major League Soccer:
Doc Emrick Reads Promo For MLS, Is Unable To Avoid Ripping Soccer Players For Diving
As NBC Sports Network's Stanley Cup Playoff coverage winds down, the network is transitioning to its key summer coverage to fill the gap until the London Olympics arrive: Major League Soccer. We've long admired NBC's top hockey announcer Doc Emrick for his no-bullshit approach to the game, and it appears that…
This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience.
Fredy Montero's Long-Range Strike Is A Worthy Response To Yesterday's Cissé Golazo
We brought you a highlight yesterday of what's probably the best goal scored in European soccer this season, and it was almost as if a reply that Major League Soccer brought its own "you can only do that in a video game" highlight stateside last evening. Fitting, then, that it was Fredy Montero of the Xbox-sponsored…
Houston Dynamo's Colin Clark Calls Ball Boy A "Fuckin' Faggot," Offers Weak Apology
As noted earlier today on Dirty Tackle, Houston Dynamo winger Colin Clark is under fire for blowing up on a ball boy early in last night's match in Seattle. His apology (through Twitter) was of the typical "I didn't mean to disrespect anyone" variety and suggests Clark hasn't been exposed to those ubiquitous NBA "…
Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past Union keeper Zac…
