manchester-united Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...
This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....
Miralem Pjanic Scores 65-Yard Goal A Day After Hitting 50-Yard FG
AS Roma's Miralem Pjanic had a pretty solid couple of days in Denver. On Saturday, he scored the absurd goal you see above in a friendly against Manchester United at Sports Authority Field. United kept a clean sheet until the 75th minute, when Pjanic boomed a ball from behind midfield as goalkeepe...
Whatever Happened To Wayne Rooney?
Wayne Rooney is a paradox. That isn't a sentence that anyone ever supposed to write, but, well, there it is. ...
David Moyes Apparently Got In A Bar Fight
In what must be a classic example of taking your problems out on the wrong people, former Manchester United manager David Moyes is accused of assaulting a man at a bar last night....
Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...
Manchester United Sacks Sad Sack David Moyes After Disastrous Campaign
It's official! Sad David Moyes has been fired by sad Manchester United, just one year into a six-year contract. While Moyes had avoided the ax a couple times this season, the sacking isn't at all surprising given a nightmarish campaign that has resulted in United's worst ever Premier League season a...
Reports: David Moyes To Be Sacked Any Day Now; A Gallery Of Moyesface
Oh, Moyesy. It appears our season of schadenfreude will soon be coming to a premature end, with reports practically everywhere saying "The Chosen One" is about to become "The Sacked One."...
Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League
So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to a...
Wayne Rooney Dives, Draws A Red, Smirks
Here's Rooney's 90th minute dive that earned Bastian Schweinsteiger a second yellow, and a suspension for next week's Champions League second leg....
Wayne Rooney Scores Goal From 50 Yards Away
Wayne Rooney opened the scoring for Manchester United today with a long-range bomb reminiscent of Luis Suarez's goal for Liverpool two years ago, a 50-yard volley that left NBC's announcers almost at a loss for words. We're sure Rooney's West Ham opponents had a few, though....
Manchester United Get A Big Win, Remain Soccer's Funniest Joke
Coaches and players often say, when asked whether something or other has added fire to an upcoming game, that if just being in the Big Time Sporting Event doesn't motivate you, you're beyond hope anyway. If that's true, then Manchester United's passion-filled 3-0 comeback against Olympiakos probably...
Added Time Bites Manchester United In The Ass As Fulham Draws
Though the basement-dwelling Fulham took a 1-0 lead 19 minutes into the match, Manchester United's two quick goals by Robin Van Persie and Michael Carrick near the end of the second half seemingly corrected everything. But in extra time, Fulham wrecked their stability....
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
What's Wrong With Manchester United, And How To Fix It
Yesterday, defending Premier League champions Manchester United faced the league's last place team, Sunderland, in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal. After losing the first two matches of 2014 (at home to Tottenham and to Swansea), United were fighting to not lose three straight for the firs...
Two Japanese Soccer Stars Play Team Of 55 Kids On Game Show
What do you get when you mix Shinji Kagawa and Hiroshi Kiyotake, 33 Japanese kids, and a soccer pitch? Well, a pretty easily scored goal. But what about when you up the number to 55? Pure chaos....