manchester Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Liverpool And Manchester City Smashed Their Opponents And Killed Arsenal<em></em>
The Premier League’s game of musical chairs for a spot in the top four, the only remaining bit of intrigue coming into today’s league-ending round of matches, only gave us about 45 minutes of real drama. It was a good 45 minutes, though, and for the first time in forever, the music has stopped and A...

FIFA Opens Investigation Into Paul Pogba's Transfer To Manchester United
According to reports, FIFA has decided to investigate last summer’s record-breaking transfer of Paul Pogba from Juventus to Manchester United. It’s not clear which aspect of the deal piqued FIFA’s suspicions, but presumably it has something to do with recent reports about the transfer and Pogba’s co...

Manchester United's Champions League Charge Is Admirable And Ballsy
This Premier League season had so much promise. A veritable murderers’ row of superstar managers—Pep Guardiola and José Mourinho and Antonio Conte joining a league that already had Jürgen Klopp and Mauricio Pochettino and oh yeah I guess Arsène Wenger still counts—overseeing a handful of huge, rich,...

José Mourinho Needs To Win The Europa League He Once Disdained
José Mourinho, the manager who just a few seasons ago said, “I don’t want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don’t want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition,” is now desperate to win the Europa League. And after today’s 1-0 first-leg semifinal win...

Report: Knee Injury Will Keep Zlatan Ibrahimović Out For Rest Of Season
Zlatan Ibrahimović, Manchester United’s ageless striker, hyperextended his knee in yesterday’s Europa League match against Anderlecht. It looked like a bad injury in live time, and indeed it appears it was: Sky Sports is reporting that the injury is likely to end Ibrahimović’s season early....

Chill Teen Marcus Rashford Saves Manchester United's Ass
It was a little over a year ago when we were first introduced to Marcus Rashford, then a largely unknown Manchester United youth teamer who was called on to rescue United in the Europa League. His heroic performance that day augured well for the young striker, and Rashford has only continued bolster...

All The Dumb Paul Pogba Haters Need To Check Out This Outrageous Pass
Yes, yes, this is just a single play. One pass doesn’t prove a player is good or consistent or any of the other positive traits needed to attain elite status. But just look at this ridiculous heat seaker of a pass and try to argue, as many have done this season, that Paul Pogba isn’t awesome:...

Zlatan Ibrahimović And His Mountain-Sized Ego Give A Great Interview
As everyone should know by now, Zlatan Ibrahimović’s arrogance is unreal. For more proof, take the short interview above, in which the big Swede declares himself a lion, explains why he doesn’t compare himself to the other strikers in the Premier League by saying “lions, they don’t compare themselve...

Maybe Don't Tell Romelu Lukaku What To Do
Romelu Lukaku, the Premier League’s leading scorer and guy who is way too talented to be frittering his talents away on Everton, a mid-table club with no real shot at the Champions League, was fed up today during Everton’s 1-1 draw with Manchester United. ...

Everton Score Stupid Goal, Manchester United Get Late Penalty, Both Go Home Unhappy
Today’s Manchester United-Everton game could’ve been a big deal to either team. If Everton won, they would’ve leapt over Arsenal and United to take the fifth spot in the table, just five points behind Man City in fourth; while they still would’ve had basically no realistic shot of finishing in the t...

Here's Arsène Wenger Physically Embodying The Despair Of Arsenal's Season
Watch this video of an anguished Arsène Wenger as he looks upon his charges while they conspire to throw away the work they’d done just moments earlier to get back on level terms with Manchester City. Wenger sees Mesut Özil cough the ball up, watches City carve up Arsenal’s back line with ease, and ...

Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense
It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seein...

Would You Eat A Peeled Banana That Other People Touched?<em></em>
Manchester United’s Marcos Rojo brought a glimmer of excitement to an otherwise dull afternoon of Europa League soccer by eating a banana. United was up 1-0 over Rostov in the second leg of the round of 16, when Rojo, apparently, felt like he was cramping up and requested a nanner. ...

Manchester City Knocked Out Of Champions League; Leicester Last English Team Standing
The Foxes were the best English team in the Premier League last year, and apparently they’re the best English team in the Champions League this season. With Manchester City’s 3-1 loss to Monaco today, Leicester fucking City are the final representatives in Europe’s top competition from the Best Leag...

Paul Pogba Is Good
If the statement in the headline of this post—Paul Pogba is good—seems ridiculous to you, too trivially obvious to be worth saying, then you’re in luck, because it means you haven’t had your mind numbed by some of the predictably over-the-top criticism he has been subject to since joining the Premie...

Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...

José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....

Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy
If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:...

Manchester United Experience Glories Of Europa League On Rostov's Rock-Hard Pitch
Europa League staples Manchester United should probably be used to the particular quirks of Europe’s JV competition by now, but it still has to suck to step onto your opponent’s pitch—in this case, Russian club Rostov’s—the day before a match and realize just how awful playing surfaces can be....

After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...