manchester Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United
Pedro made mincemeat of Man United defense en route to giving Chelsea a 1-0 lead just 30 seconds into their match today at Stamford Bridge. Let’s give Marcos Alonso a hand for the assist, too....
Pep Guardiola Very Politely Sons British Journalist
British journalist: “Pep, do you think your failure to beat the best team in the world a couple months into you tenure at a brand new club means you might consider throwing away the tactical philosophy that has made you arguably the greatest, most successful coach of your generation?”...
Lionel Messi Must Really Hate Pep Guardiola And England
If there have been two criticisms that have followed Lionel Messi around though his career like yappy little dogs nipping at his ankles—too insignificant to be an actual threat, and just persistent enough to register as a minor annoyance—they have been these: First, he had the good fortune of playin...
Yaya Touré Won't Play For Man City Again Unless His Shit-Talking Agent Apologizes
After new Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola left Yaya Touré off City’s Champions League roster, Touré’s agent, Dimitri Seluk, said his client was humiliated:...
Manchester United Have A Wayne Rooney Problem
Despite what you may have heard, Wayne Rooney does not in fact suck. He remains a really good Premier League player who is very smart and boasts a unique skill set that can be quite valuable to the right team. However, he was really bad in Manchester United’s 3-1 loss to Watford, and it’s becoming i...
Mighty Manchester United Back In Soccer's NIT; Back To Taking Ls Against Inferior Opponents
José Mourinho made it perfectly clear before his Manchester United took on Feyenoord in the none-too-eminent Europa League exactly how few fucks he, his players, and his club gave about Europe’s JV continental competition. Karma responded, in its typically darkly funny way, by handing United yet ano...
Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...
Arsène Wenger Disses José Mourinho In The Pettiest Way Possible
José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not like each other. José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not pass up on opportunities to make it clear, both to each other and the world at large, that they do not like each other. Today, Arsène Wenger did something—an incredibly petty thing, at that—to demonstrate ...
Here's Why Yaya Touré Was Left Off Manchester City's Champions League Roster
When last we heard talk of Yaya Touré, it involved Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola extolling the virtues of the star midfielder he nevertheless had repeatedly refused to include in City’s matchday squads. Guardiola remarked that the Ivorian was “training amazing,” but because the manager expec...
Claudio Bravo Died (Er, Joined Manchester City) So That Marc-André ter Stegen Could Live
On behalf of all Barcelona faithful, I’d like to first wish a sincere congratulations to goalkeeper extraordinaire Claudio Bravo and Manchester City for finally sealing their long-awaited union:...
Yaya Touré And Pep Guardiola Have No Choice But To Play Nice
It’s funny, seeing Yaya Touré and Pep Guardiola say nice things about each other through the media, when it’s pretty clear that that the two probably don’t particularly like each other in the slightest....
Zlatan Scores, Makes World Reconsider Hatred Of Manchester United In EPL Debut<em></em>
Zlatan Ibrahimović has never once let us down, so there was no question that he would score in his Premier League debut with Manchester United against Bournemouth today; the only question was how. Volley from 40 yards out? Bender from a corner? Hypnosis? If you had your money on “exploiting a near-i...
José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...
Paul Pogba's Move To Manchester United Is All About The Money
In the end, the process was simpler than many imagined. Any serious follower of the game has predicted for years that, when Paul Pogba—absurdly precocious and ludicrously talented Juventus midfielder—was finally convinced that he’d outgrown the Bianconeri and Serie A and decided to make the leap fro...
The Paul Pogba Transfer Is Finally Happening
For at least a month, it has been clear that Juventus star Paul Pogba would be transferring to Manchester United, with the only question being how much money it would take. But while Pogba spent his post-Euro summer dicking around, the rumor mill went into overdrive: that Pogba would stay, that Real...
José Mourinho Is Back, And He's His Old Shit-Talking Self
The José Mourinho Era at Manchester United officially kicked off today as the Portuguese manager was finally unveiled for the job he’s not-so-secretly pined after for years and we’ve all known he would get for months. Judging by the track suit he slipped into for the photo op on Old Trafford’s pitch...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Finally Confirms That He's Going To Manchester United
In an announcement shocking nobody, Zlatan Ibrahimović confirmed today that he will in fact be rejoining his old boss José Mourinho at Manchester United next season....
Chelsea Literally Own "José Mourinho"
If you’re wondering why it’s been taking Manchester United and José Mourinho to seal their inevitable marriage, you’re not alone. With all the big things like salary and years and the like already hammered out per reports, all that’s left are the small details. Only the small details in internationa...
Who's Behind The Louis van Gaal Smear Campaign?
We’re reportedly only hours away from Manchester United’s beleaguered manager Louis van Gaal finally getting the ax, and maybe only days away from the similarly inevitable announcement that José Mourinho’s ass will replace van Gaal’s in that gilded though bloodstained manager’s seat at Old Trafford....