manchester Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paul Pogba has a Manchester United problem, not the other way around
After six Premier League games, being six points off the relegation zone while nine points off the top is not where Manchester United are supposed to be. But it feels like that gets said a lot about United the past couple years. “Not where they’re supposed to be.” ...
Christen Press and Tobin Heath are the Latest to Head for Blighty
It might seem like an exodus, and it sort of is. If reports are true, then Christen Press and Tobin Heath will become the third and fourth members of the World Cup-winning US Women’s squad to head for England’s WSL this season. ...
Pep Guardiola Overthought It Again and City Are Out on Their Ass
We’ve all had to deal with a lot of our rites of spring being moved to another location on the calendar or lost to the pandemic altogether. Opening Day, Memorial Day blockbuster movies, Derby parties, all of these and more were lost or moved to an unfamiliar spot in life’s routine. Oh, and Pep Guard...
Death, Taxes & MLB Players Being Stupid
It was yet another banner day for MLB, which seems to be having them one after another. They’ve sat next to the cooler at the casino, by choice, except that they’ll still walk out of the casino with most of their chips. After all, it’s not their chips they’re playing with. And if the players continu...
Manchester City Are Destroying Everything In Its Path, Including UEFA
If it’s felt like Manchester City are just an irresistible, and inevitable force, today will only underline that. Not only have they outscored their opposition since soccer returned 25-3, or won six of their eight games, or still have a very good chance at claiming three trophies this season (alread...
No One Will Feel Sorry for Man City Or Pep Guardiola, But They Stand To Lose A Lot
At the top, we need to add even more of a disclaimer than we usually do. There are far more important things in the world than this, but it’s our lot to discuss the silly and insignificant (at the time)....
It Would Suck If Liverpool Couldn't Finish Their Magical Run, But Leicester City Would Be The True Victims Of A Canceled Season
When discussing the bonkers plans the Premier League has floated for finishing its season—call it The Bio-Dome solution—the undercurrent to it all is that there’s a decent chance it won’t be finished at all. The idea of tacking it on to the beginning of next season almost seems a non-starter, with E...
Manchester City Are Practically Invincible When Raheem Sterling Is On His Shit
The thing about Manchester City is that they don’t really have a best player. Well, they do have one—Kevin de Bruyne—but the team’s structure isn’t the sort where everything revolves around one guy, where shutting KDB down means shutting down the entire team. Instead, Man City possess a truly stupid...
The Premier League Title Race Is Just Getting Started
Coming off a season where both the eventual Premier League champions and the runners up were very nearly perfect, you could be forgiven for assuming the eight-point lead Liverpool enjoyed over Manchester City coming into this past weekend to have been almost insurmountable. When the margins separati...
Iron-Skulled Lad Scores Header From Beyond Halfway Line
I don’t care that this goal was only possible due to a goalkeeping boner. I don’t care that it was scored in England’s seventh division, where the pitches are much smaller than in the top leagues. I don’t even care that there’s zero chance the scorer meant to do what he did. Regardless of all that, ...
Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger
Bastian Schweinsteiger was three different players. The German superstar, who announced his retirement from soccer on Tuesday, is leaving behind one of the most peculiar careers in recent soccer memory. From a wide player breaking into Germany’s 2006 World Cup side, to one of the best and most idios...
Manchester United Are The New Old Liverpool
It’s been so bad for so long that it’s time to stop worrying about when or whether it would happen and just admit that it already has: Manchester United have Liverpool’d themselves....
Bernardo Silva Does A Racism Oopsie, Pep Guardiola Makes It Worse
What do you get when you mix an obscenely racist Spanish candy, a well-meaning but ill-advised joke tweet between Premier League teammates, and a manager who clearly doesn’t know anything about the history of racist imagery? Well, you get a racism scandal perfectly suited for 2019, with only a bag o...
The Premier League Is Finally As "Bad" As La Liga
It’s more than a little ironic that the definitive proof that the Premier League truly is as comprehensively and inarguably supreme as its fanboys have long contended it to be has come in the exact form many of those same fanboys shitted on Spain for back when La Liga was top dog....
Manchester City Unable To Overcome The Irrepressible Might Of Norwich City
In what could end up being the most stunning upset of season, recently-promoted Norwich City took down defending Premier League champions on Saturday, 3-2. The result came on the back of a stellar performance from Norwich’s Finnish veteran Teemu Pukki and a putrid display from City’s two center halv...
George Best And The Soccer Battle Of The Sexes That Changed ... Well, Nothing
Fifty years ago, on a drizzly Sunday afternoon in Manchester, Eva Haraldsted played soccer against George Best. Haraldsted was 21 years old. She wore a turquoise mini-dress, white soccer boots, and a high ponytail, and was captain of a women’s team called Blinkers United. Best, the shaggy-haired Man...
Liverpool And Manchester City Still Reign Supreme
The start of a new season offers all the promise of a blank slate. Onto this yet untouched slab, our imaginations can run wild carving any conceivable array of results and events, thrillingly unconstrained by anything other than our own whims and predictions. However, though we are just three matche...
Crystal Palace's Patrick van Aanholt Scores Late Winner To Bring Down Toothless Manchester United
It appears that no matter how hard they try, Manchester United are unable to shake the fact that mediocrity is now a staple characteristic of the once-dominant (if that even means anything anymore) club. Case in point is the fact that the focus of this summer’s transfer window was to bolster the def...
Manager Ascends To New Level Of Consciousness, Makes Completely Logical Connection Between The Handball Rule And Brexit
The modern discourse is a never-ending cascade of Expanding Brain memes. Everyone plays their part, and when Deadspin is doing its job well, we provide takes that belong to one of the latter panels, ones hopefully more sophisticated than this but less out-there than this. Proving that our angle on t...
Banger King Rúben Neves Scores The First Great Goal Of The Premier League Season
One of the best ongoing statistical oddities in English soccer is that Wolverhampton Wanderers youngster Rúben Neves has never scored for the club from inside the penalty box in open play. Heading into Monday’s game against Manchester United, the 22-year-old Portuguese midfielder had 12 goals for Wo...