map Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Caster Semenya Is A "Hermaphrodite," Ballsy Aussie Paper Reports
Caster Semenya reportedly has no womb or ovaries but does have internal testes, and, as if determined to provide the missing piece, everyone is being a huge dick about the whole thing....
Tough Actin' Keith Acton Is The Only Lucky Maple Leaf
The good news: The former player won nearly $100,000 in Canada's national lottery. The bad news: $100k isn't nearly enough to quit his job as Toronto's assistant coach. [Toronto Star]...
What Hockey Really Needs Is Better Manners
Ok, technically, using this spin-o-rama move on a penalty/shootout shot is not illegal—because it explicitly says so in the rule book. (Seriously, the NHL rule book contains the word "spin-o-rama." Amazing.) So it's fair ... but is it nice? The Devils' Bobby Holik doesn't think so....
Brian Burke Officially In As President, GM of Terrible Hockey Team
Starting today, the Toronto Maple Leafs can scratch "incompetent and/or old GM" off the list of reasons why they never win anything. Yes, in the least surprising news to come out of the NHL since Gary Bettman admitted he didn't know how to read or write, the Leafs announced that Brian Burke will ta...
Mike Van Ryn Is Having A Rough Year
The NHL season is only a few weeks old, but for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Van Ryn it probably feels like an eternity. Back in October, he removed a pane of glass from the boards in Boston with his face and on Saturday night he was on the receiving end of this rather nasty boarding penalty...
Toronto Writer To Maple Leaf Fans: It's All Your Fault
It's still early in the NHL season, but the Toronto Maple Leafs are solidly in 4th place—right where they've belonged for the past three seasons. If you're not familiar with the rules of ice hockey, that's bad. However, the organization that owns the team—Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment—is doing...
Maple Bats: Wooden Death Clubs Of Chaos
The Florida Sun-Sentinel (via SBB) has an amusing slideshow of broken bats whizzing into the stands, featuring unsuspecting victims, bloody fans, and plenty of men making terrified faces as the splintered swords come hurling at them....
About Last Night...
What you missed while making the jump into academia......
They Sure Do Follow Orders In Toronto
The National Post points out — starting at around the 4:45 mark of this video — that team president Richard Peddie is mouthing the exact words being said by new interim GM Cliff Fletcher while he says them. That's how you make sure you don't stray from the company line; that interim tag won't exist ...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...
That'll Be All For The Leafs
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
Just Like Indiana Jones, But Not
Non-Football TV • 12:30 — Sahara [TNT] • 1:00 — Bowling: PBA Etonic Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — Boxing: Mike Tyson's Greatest Hits [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Golf: LPGA Tournament of Champions, Final-Round [GOLF] • 1:00 — Reindeer Games [FLIXe] • 1:00 — Rounders [FX] • 1:45 — Richie Rich [TBS] • 2:30 — NCAA ...
Welcome To The NHL, Kid
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jiri Tlusty is one of the top young prospects in the NHL, and he scored two goals a couple weeks ago despite only being 19 years old. So how is he welcomed to the big time? Some Canadian Perez Hilton knockoff site keeps calling him gay....
USC Seniors Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Chris Washington is a senior at USC with a GPA of 3.50. And even though he had several of his fraternity brothers rooting him on in the front row during the game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night, he still seemed a bit confused. Below are a list of the questions that he got wrong:...
Gay Hockey Players? Now We've Seen EVERYTHING
As we learned from "ESPN Hollywood," the line between the entertainment industry and the sports industry is a blurry one. But one delineation is clear: Hollywood is a lot cooler with the gays....
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure ...
I'll post a quick preview of today's one o'clock games shortly. But in the meantime, I suggest you check out J.P. Kirby's — New Brunswick, represent! — NFL TV distribution maps to see the games in your area, and the assigned announcing teams....
South Carolina Needs A Spokesperson!
Just over at the South Carolina Tourisim official site, and do you know what? They don't have a spokesperson. This should be remedied, and of course there are only two candidates who could handle it. Miss Teen South Carolina; and Blowie, the mascot for the Coastal Plain League Columbia, S.C. Blowfi...
I Can Haz Maps Of The Iraq, And Such As ... ?
We've had some fun at the expense of our friend Lauren Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen South Carolina who mangled a beauty pageant question so completely on Friday that the entire world is talking about it. Such as. But now it seems some real good has come of all this. A new web site has launched, Maps...
Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts
She captivated the nation with her controversial stances on maps, and "the Iraq, everywhere such as." Yesterday we showed you the video of her performance at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, and like the rest of "U.S. Americans," you instantly fell in love. Now, here's more of Miss Teen South Carolina Lau...