marcelo - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Real Madrid shouldn’t have even been there
We’ll likely never see a UEFA Champions League run like the one Real Madrid just completed. If only quality of play decided Los Blancos’ quarterfinal and semifinal two legged-ties, as well as Saturday’s one-game final against Liverpool, they would’ve lost each one. Real Madrid trailed late in each s...
Whose personality is more irritating: Current Jimmy Butler or prime Dwight Howard?
Everyone has had that coworker who kind of sucks but is really good at his job so the manager looks the other way when Glen takes 20 minute out of the weekly staff meeting to brag about his weekend jet skiing. Yeah, he’s annoying, but holy shit can he sell the hell out of reasonably priced Kias. Dwi...
Marcelo booted from Lyon locker room for excessive farts, laughter
Brazilian soccer player Marcelo couldn’t stop busting ass in the Lyon locker room and laughing about it. His flatulence became too much for his teammates to handle, as ESPN reported his farting and cackling about crackin’ a rat was the reason behind Marcelo’s expulsion from Lyon last August....
Jesse Marsch and Leeds might be in serious trouble
It’s hard to judge just how important it is that an American manager finally “makes it” in Europe. It would certainly be cool, but for what it means for men’s American soccer overall trails by miles to how players make it in the world’s best leagues. The US needs a load of players making a fist of i...
Everton can’t really get themselves relegated, can they?
In the previous decade, we could have asked this question about Aston Villa, West Ham, or Newcastle. All of those clubs are of the same size as Everton, all should be comfortably in the second tier of the Premier League behind the big six, if not breaking into the big six themselves. And yet, the la...
Jesse Marsch tries again, this time at Leeds United
You can’t accuse Jesse Marsch of being unambitious. He replaced Julian Nagelsmann at RB Leipzig, and Nagelsmann had only left for Bayern Munich — one of the biggest jobs in the world — and is considered maybe the leading young genius on the European continent (whether this letterman’s jacket is evid...
Tennis menace Alexander Zverev whacks umpire with racket
When in doubt, blame the officials. It’s a common behavior in sports. When in doubt, smash a tennis racket against an umpire’s chair, nearly striking him, which could’ve caused major harm? Deeply disturbing and pitiful. And that’s exactly what German tennis player Alexander Zverev did Tuesday....
Inter Milan lost their two best players and manager but might win Serie A again anyway
It is not agreed upon defending-your-title strategy to watch one’s manager, and one of the best in the business in Antonio Conte, walk out the door in a huff mere weeks after said title due to disagreements over the financial planning. Though to be fair, that is kind of Conte’s finishing move. Still...
Man United have the right idea, that doesn’t mean it’ll work
Counting on a horrible blunder to score and holding on for dear life to scrape a 1-1 draw against Chelsea isn’t where Manchester United are supposed to find themselves. But at least admitting that’s what they are is a first step in the right direction in a long time. Having any sort of strategy on t...
Crooked Olympics organizer sentenced alongside corrupt ex-Rio governor by censured Brazilian judge who’s pals with possibly criminal president
The head of Rio’s 2016 Olympic organizing committee, Carlos Arthur Nuzman, was sentenced to 30 years in prison after being convicted on charges of corruption, criminal organization, money laundering, and tax evasion....
At least it’s over
The urge after any postseason is over is to draw some overarching narrative out of it. To learn what it means to be a champion in that particular sport in that particular era, or what it means for that sport in general. I’m sure if MLB had any inkling to discover what Team Cheaters vs. Team White Fl...
Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you remember
The lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday....