mat Page 101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Last-Minute, Pants-Shitting Guide To Taxes
Oh holy living fuck, Tax Day is Monday! Have you filed yet? Do you owe penalties? SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL. You better run. I know a place in Mexico where you can lie low for a bit while the Feds go searching for you. It’ll buy you the time you need, and then you can jump a shipping freight...
What Do You Do If Your Roommate Bails Mid-Lease?
Living in a high-rent, densely packed city brings people together into close quarters. Which makes for fun conditions if you’re living with established pals, but if one of those pals, say, vanishes mid-lease, without warning, to move to a distant state, what’s a guy to do?...
Matt Harvey Is Upset Everyone Made Fun Of His Bladder Infection
Publications across America, this one included, had a grand old time coming up with silly headlines to put above stories about Mets ace Matt Harvey’s bladder infection and blood clots, which briefly threatened to cost Harvey his Opening Day start. Harvey saw all of our jokes, and he’s not too happy ...
Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles
Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong wi...
Hoo Boy, Something's Up With Matt Harvey
Mets pitcher Matt Harvey has been scratched from his scheduled start tomorrow, and is a very big question mark to be ready to go for opening day? Why? It’s a big ol’ mystery, but, uh, prepare to panic, probably....
Future Superstar Matt Miazga Ready To Fight To Become "The Best American Player"
The worst you can say is that it hasn’t happened yet. This is no great shocker, since it was always going to be a long journey for Matt Miazga to go from promising MLS prospect to veritable Premier League legend. Yet it is a voyage Miazga himself is perfectly ready to start down step by step, as evi...
Matt Barnes Chases John Henson Down Tunnel After Both Are Ejected (UPDATED)
Here is a crazy sequence from tonight’s Bucks-Grizzlies game. With just six seconds left, John Henson swatted the shit out of a Matt Barnes shot, and the two picked up a double-technical for jawing at each other. Henson, who had picked up a technical for a flagrant foul on Lance Stephenson earlier a...
Mateen Cleaves Charged With Sexual Assault
Former Michigan State basketball star and NBA player Mateen Cleaves has been charged with multiple counts of sexual assault following an alleged assault on a 24-year-old woman....
NFL Official Admits For First Time There Is "Certainly" A Link Between Football And CTE
A top NFL official acknowledged for the first time a link between playing football and suffering from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), responding, “the answer to that question is certainly yes” when asked if there is a link. It’s akin to tobacco companies finally admitting that nicotine is ad...
A Child's Treasury Of Photos Of Nate Diaz Beating Conor McGregor's Ass
Conor McGregor is a blowhard troll who’s been terrorizing the top ranks of pro fighters lately, while Nate Diaz is a lovable dirtbag who’s lost more than he’s won over the last couple of years. McGregor says things like, “I’ve got world titles and multi millions of dollars, you got 20 thousand to sh...
Nate Diaz Accuses Conor McGregor Of Steroid Use At Impressively Ludicrous Press Conference
It’s late February and not much is going on in sports, so the press conference the UFC held today to promote Conor McGregor’s upcoming fight against Nate Diaz was the most entertaining happening of the day largely by default. Even so, it was really something, every bit as dumb as could be hoped....
Evan Mathis Goes In On Chip Kelly
Will I ever get tired of former Eagles players talking shit about Chip Kelly? No, I don’t think I will....
Don Mattingly's Marlins Take A Lesson From Mr. Burns And Ban Facial Hair
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made....
PSV Defender Promises To Eat Atlético Madrid Like His Soup, Which He Then Burns His Mouth On
PSV will play host to Atlético Madrid and the best defense in Europe next week, but new PSV defender Nicolas Isimat-Marin ain’t scared. He declared in a video interview with the team’s YouTube page that he was going to eat Los Rojiblancos like soup....
Blake Griffin Apologizes For Punching Clippers Equipment Staffer
Clippers star Blake Griffin spoke to the media today for the first time since he broke his hand punching friend and Clippers’ equipment staffer Matias Testi in the face, and apologized profusely for it....