mat Page 133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tim McCarver Blames Global Warming For The Increase In Major League Home Runs
We'd normally save this sort of thing for McCarve'd Up (which will be back next week after being pre-empted for NFL draft coverage) but Tim McCarver said one of the stupidest things ever spoken on a television broadcast today, blaming global warming for "making the air thin" and thus leading to a...
Jeff Francoeur Gets 100th Assist Off Ryan "Doormat" Line Drive
We're not sure if someone has got it in for Ryan Doumit over at Yahoo, but as you can see, a typo (??) credits Jeff Francoeur with his 100th assist after doubling up Joe Mauer on "Ryan Doormat's liner to right-center."...
Reports: Matt Leinart To Sign With Oakland Raiders
Look out Bay Area, here comes the party (and lifetime 57.6 completion percentage). Friend of the program, Matt Leinart is ready to move on from his backup role in Houston to a new backup role with the Oakland Raiders. According to Adam Schefter, Leinart will sign with the Raiders and immediately be...
PGA Tour Lawyers Try Really Hard To Scare Us Into Taking Down Their Dumb Video
Way back in January we posted this low-quality video, filmed off some schmo's TV screen, of a sound guy tripping and falling as Ryuji Imada prepared for his drive. It was not the pinnacle of sports commentary, but it was a guy falling down, and I thought it was pretty funny....
For Interfering With That Foul Ball The Other Day, Matt Geiger Got Called An Asshole By An Old Woman In A Wheelchair
Former NBA big man Matt Geiger has given a radio interview about the brain fart he had in the eighth inning of Sunday's Twins-Rays game, which we first showed you the other day. Geiger said he got caught up in the moment because he was hoping to get a ball he could give to his 4-year-old son....
ESPN Writer Has <em>The Protocols Of Zion</em> On His Bookshelf
Late last week, ESPN's MMA writer Franklin McNeil appeared on an ESPN.com video previewing the big UFC pay-per-view fight between Jon Jones and Rashad Evans. In the video, McNeil talked about the bout while sitting in front of his bookshelf at his home. Clever D.I.Y. stagecraft! (Just a few weeks ag...
Former NBA Big Man Matt Geiger Was "Relocated" From Tropicana Field For Interfering With Carlos Peña On A Foul Ball
On a lazy Sunday in April, Matt Geiger—journeyman center for the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers—probably enjoys soaking in the sun and taking in a ballgame. Not necessarily at the same time, though, since he was at The Trop causing a scene and interfering with Carlos Peña on ...
The PR Guy From Some Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows You Saw Their Brief Highlight Clip That One Time
Professional ultimate frisbee is now a thing. The eight-team American Ultimate Disc League held its season opener last weekend, and the league is doing all it can to get the word out. This afternoon, we got an email from a PR guy with the Indianapolis AlleyCats, and while it's the standard sort of p...
How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....
Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects
Let's call this guy, oh, "Dave." Dave is a financial services employee in New York. Dave goes on Match.com, and meets women, and sometimes goes on dates with them. Then Dave goes home and enters all sorts of information into an Excel sheet, to keep track of everyone....
On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...
History Lesson: The Time Matt Millen Punched The Patriots' General Manager In The Head
An occasional feature in which we recall notable incidents that we would've covered the hell out of had we existed at the time....
The Unstoppable Frisbee Trick Shot Menace Has Finally Reached Quebec
Look, it's not the "greatest Frisbee catch in the history of Frisbee catches," but it is Frisbee trick shot expert Brodie Smith and some random people in Nordiques jerseys—OK, and one Maple Leafs fan—defy the laws of physics throughout the Colisée Pepsi, so there's that....
Pain Is A Gift, And Other Notes From A Terrified Father During A Seven-Week-Premature Birth
When the baby cried, I knew it wasn't gonna die. They had just pulled my son out of my wife and whisked him over to one of those fancy hotel pans that you put newborns in, and there was a brief moment when he said nothing, which you don't want. You want the baby to cry. You want confirmation that th...
The Angry, Angry Coaches Of The Final Four: A Video Compilation
Tonight's Final Four promises some great on the court action, both in the intrastate battle between Kentucky and Louisville, and in the Ohio State vs. Kansas game. The games also feature four prominent college basketball Coaches in John Calipari, Rick Pitino, Thad Matta, and Bill Self....
Matt Hendricks Is: The Paralyzer
Washington's Matt Hendricks is a bruiser, not a scorer. But the Capitals forward has discovered a secret weapon that renders goalies powerless, and he's been dominating shootouts this month relying on that same move every time. Pump fake, goalie goes down, easy score....
Wes Welker, Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware Play Great In Adult Diapers
Normally we don't like to post commercials. But there's something so determined about little Wes Welker. Oh, it's for (an undefined, nebulous) charity? Wes Welker will wear the shit out of your adult diapers. And Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware give in to peer pressure a little too easily. If that...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: No Matter What
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....
Bobby Jenks And Matt Bush Were Both Charged With DUIs In Florida In The Past 24 Hours
Bobby Jenks (right), who plays for the Red Sox and is not fat anymore, was arrested at 3:43 a.m. in Lee County, Fla., and was charged with DUI, property damage, and leaving the scene of an accident in which property was damaged. He was released at 8:45 this morning....
Quarterback Musical Chairs Leaves The Dolphins Standing Alone In A Corner
The Miami Dolphins do not have a quarterback, and now there are no good quarterbacks left....