mat Page 134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wes Welker, Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware Play Great In Adult Diapers
Normally we don't like to post commercials. But there's something so determined about little Wes Welker. Oh, it's for (an undefined, nebulous) charity? Wes Welker will wear the shit out of your adult diapers. And Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware give in to peer pressure a little too easily. If that...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: No Matter What
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Bobby Jenks And Matt Bush Were Both Charged With DUIs In Florida In The Past 24 Hours
Bobby Jenks (right), who plays for the Red Sox and is not fat anymore, was arrested at 3:43 a.m. in Lee County, Fla., and was charged with DUI, property damage, and leaving the scene of an accident in which property was damaged. He was released at 8:45 this morning....

Quarterback Musical Chairs Leaves The Dolphins Standing Alone In A Corner
The Miami Dolphins do not have a quarterback, and now there are no good quarterbacks left....

Matt Flynn Chose Seattle Over Miami Because The Seahawks Are "Led By The Right Type Of People"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Flynn says he's not guaranteed to start in Seattle, but come on....

The Dolphins Have Spent An Offseason Humiliating Themselves
Believe me when I tell you that I say this with zero malice: the Dolphins are a pathetic franchise at the moment. It's not so much that two weeks ago they were certain they were going to have Peyton Manning throwing to Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne, and now they may have to content themselves wi...

When Irish Eyes Are Swollen: How Sergio Martinez Beat Matthew Macklin On St. Patrick's Day
Reputations are hard to earn. And they're hard to keep. They come with benefits. But they can also hang on a fighter like a chain, an extra burden in a sport that's hard enough as it is. Reputations can't be carried throughout a fight. They must be shed like a robe and donned again when the fight is...

Matt Flynn Signs With The Seattle Seahawks, Dolphins Running Out Of Options
According to Adam Schefter, Green Bay Packers backup quarterback Matt Flynn has agreed to terms with the Seahawks on a three year, $26 million contract. Schefter reports up to $10 million will be guaranteed....

Tony Gwynn Is So Not Impressed With Your Baseball Analysis Technology
Bloomberg Sports must have developed one hell of a piece of baseball-analyzing software, because the Los Angeles Dodgers seem to be absolutely dumbfounded by its profound brilliance....

Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...

Some Men (In The 18-49 Demographic) Just Want To Watch The World Burn
FOX easily won the ratings battle with a rain-delayed, fire-delayed Daytona 500. There's a lesson here, and I'm pretty sure it's "don't underestimate the drawing power of things blowing up."...

ESPN Finds Ottawa's New Secret Weapon: A Two-Year-Old Defenseman
Ottawa just picked Gilroy up today in exchange for Brian Lee. With any luck, he'll be talking by playoff time. [ESPN]...

Learning The Secret Of Rugby, Nine Concussions Later
I once drank so much weight-gain powder that I couldn't go 40 minutes without peeing. I was an intern in San Francisco, trying to play rugby with the big boys, and working part time clearing tables. Whoever designed Mass XXX surely did not intend for it to provide 50 percent of my daily calories, us...

Rodney Harrison Is An Idiot. Let Rob Gronkowski Dance!
You may have seen this video of Pats tight end Rob Gronkowski and tackle Matt Light, fresh off of losing the Super Bowl, doing what I would be probably be doing if I just lost the biggest game of my life: getting shitfaced, dancing shirtless, and trying to get laid. But of course, Rodney Harrison do...

A Fair-And-Balanced Look At What Fox Called “The Greatest Live Premier League Match In US Television History”
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Shirtless Matt Light Also Has An Onstage Dance Video
Yawn. Do something better than that, Light. Glowsticks exist for a reason....

You Have Four Days Remaining To Bid On This Leather-Bound & Autographed Copy Of Jerry Sandusky's Book
There are apparently only 250 leather-bound copies of Touched by Jerry Sandusky (and Kip Richeal) in existence, and this one's autographed by Sandusky, Matt Millen, Greg Buttle, Kyle Brady, Lance Mehl, Ed O'Neil and Jack Ham. It comes complete with a certificate of authenticity, which I'm guessing ...

Oklahoma's Steven Pledger Prematurely Celebrated His Game-Tying Buzzer-Beater That Didn't Go In
It can't feel good to lose, especially in front of an empty arena. But it takes a certain amount of hubris—beyond the amount we're comfortable with, at least—to celebrate a shot before it goes in, especially if that shot wouldn't even win you the game. Then it doesn't go in, and all the sympathy ...

Hot In Super Bowl Commercials: Car Commercials Starring People Who Kill People With Their Cars!
What's the difference between nostalgia and remembering stuff? Hey, there's Matthew Broderick selling Hondas. It looks like fun to ride around with Matthew Broderick in a car. Unless he's in Northern Ireland and he's in the wrong lane and he kills you, like he killed Margaret Doherty and Anna Gallag...

Rob Gronkowski, Shirtless Matt Light Danced Away Their Sorrows After The Super Bowl
Ever wonder what the losers do after the big game? Well, some sulk in hotel rooms. Others cry in their beer. And some dance. They dance like no one's watching, even when someone is watching, which is what many people were doing last night as Matt Light took off his shirt and started to boogie, accor...