mat Page 134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Gwynn Is So Not Impressed With Your Baseball Analysis Technology
Bloomberg Sports must have developed one hell of a piece of baseball-analyzing software, because the Los Angeles Dodgers seem to be absolutely dumbfounded by its profound brilliance....

Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...

Some Men (In The 18-49 Demographic) Just Want To Watch The World Burn
FOX easily won the ratings battle with a rain-delayed, fire-delayed Daytona 500. There's a lesson here, and I'm pretty sure it's "don't underestimate the drawing power of things blowing up."...

ESPN Finds Ottawa's New Secret Weapon: A Two-Year-Old Defenseman
Ottawa just picked Gilroy up today in exchange for Brian Lee. With any luck, he'll be talking by playoff time. [ESPN]...

Learning The Secret Of Rugby, Nine Concussions Later
I once drank so much weight-gain powder that I couldn't go 40 minutes without peeing. I was an intern in San Francisco, trying to play rugby with the big boys, and working part time clearing tables. Whoever designed Mass XXX surely did not intend for it to provide 50 percent of my daily calories, us...

Rodney Harrison Is An Idiot. Let Rob Gronkowski Dance!
You may have seen this video of Pats tight end Rob Gronkowski and tackle Matt Light, fresh off of losing the Super Bowl, doing what I would be probably be doing if I just lost the biggest game of my life: getting shitfaced, dancing shirtless, and trying to get laid. But of course, Rodney Harrison do...

A Fair-And-Balanced Look At What Fox Called “The Greatest Live Premier League Match In US Television History”
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Shirtless Matt Light Also Has An Onstage Dance Video
Yawn. Do something better than that, Light. Glowsticks exist for a reason....

You Have Four Days Remaining To Bid On This Leather-Bound & Autographed Copy Of Jerry Sandusky's Book
There are apparently only 250 leather-bound copies of Touched by Jerry Sandusky (and Kip Richeal) in existence, and this one's autographed by Sandusky, Matt Millen, Greg Buttle, Kyle Brady, Lance Mehl, Ed O'Neil and Jack Ham. It comes complete with a certificate of authenticity, which I'm guessing ...

Oklahoma's Steven Pledger Prematurely Celebrated His Game-Tying Buzzer-Beater That Didn't Go In
It can't feel good to lose, especially in front of an empty arena. But it takes a certain amount of hubris—beyond the amount we're comfortable with, at least—to celebrate a shot before it goes in, especially if that shot wouldn't even win you the game. Then it doesn't go in, and all the sympathy ...

Hot In Super Bowl Commercials: Car Commercials Starring People Who Kill People With Their Cars!
What's the difference between nostalgia and remembering stuff? Hey, there's Matthew Broderick selling Hondas. It looks like fun to ride around with Matthew Broderick in a car. Unless he's in Northern Ireland and he's in the wrong lane and he kills you, like he killed Margaret Doherty and Anna Gallag...

Rob Gronkowski, Shirtless Matt Light Danced Away Their Sorrows After The Super Bowl
Ever wonder what the losers do after the big game? Well, some sulk in hotel rooms. Others cry in their beer. And some dance. They dance like no one's watching, even when someone is watching, which is what many people were doing last night as Matt Light took off his shirt and started to boogie, accor...

Don Mattingly Beans a Bear And Other Trick Shots
This is one of those trick shot videos that are all the rage these days. It seems that Mattingly, son Preston (and future Yankees MVP) and some other local Evansville, Indiana super stars have their own now called Trickwinkle? I don't know. A bear is involved....

A Graphic Guide To Understanding <em>USA Today</em>'s Purchase Of The Big Lead
The old new paradigm got a piece of a newer paradigm this week, as once-revolutionary USA Today acquired the Big Lead. What does this mean? Blog posts slipped under your hotel-room door? We pulled some numbers from the press release to illustrate how it all might fit together....

Teabagger Brian Downing's Lawyers: The Murder Rate Is Too Damn High To Worry About Teabagging
Brian Downing, the alleged Alabama teabagger, has, since surrendering a week ago, found himself some lawyers. And those lawyers—Michael Kennedy and Miles Swanson—have found Deadspin's email addresses. Their words, on the sexual battery charges in New Orleans:...

Not Even The Greek League Wants Matt Howard
Via David Woods: "Former Butler forward Matt Howard has been released by his Greek team, Olympiakos." Rest in peace, grit. We'll miss you....

A Slapshot To The Ear Can Do Some Serious Damage (NSFW)
On Saturday, during an off-day practice in Pittsburgh, Alex Ovechkin took a shot on net. It went high, caromed around off the glass, and struck Matt Hendricks directly in the ear. Above is the "after" picture. The graphic photo below shows the damage: an inch-long gash in the cartilage....

Brian Downing From Ohio Wants You All To Know He's Not Alabama Teabagger Brian Downing
This email just arrived in the Deadspin inbox:...

No, The Alabama Teabagger Did Not Fly To The BCS Title Game On His Cousin The Sheriff's Private Jet. (What?)
Here's a fun detail about Russell County Sheriff Heath Taylor, second cousin of Alabama teabagger Brian Downing, whose famous nuts Taylor helped deliver into the law's hands: "Sheriff Taylor says he was at the BCS Championship game but did not know his cousin was there. The Sheriff goes on to say th...

The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....