mat Page 152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPYS: A Live Report From Within The Vicinity Of Matthew Berry
The Talented Mr. PoonTo Returns. From an onlooker: "Matt berry is picking up on his espy escort chick about 20ft away from me.. Just got her number." Said "escort chick" is to the right, btw. Developing......

The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Shady Tennis Player Dies Shady Death
Mathieu Montcourt's five-week suspension for betting on tennis matches began on Monday—the same day he was found dead in a stairwell under totally non-suspicious circumstances. (Police don't suspect foul play, believe it or not.) He was 24. [AFP]...

<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...

Well, That Doesn't Add Up
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Why Twitter Is More Fun The Less You Use It
I started my Twitter account while sitting in the Twitter offices in San Francisco, interviewing Twitter head honchos Evan Williams and Biz Stone for this big feature story. I didn't know what Twitter was, though people thought I did....

Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....

Addendum, Inc.: Matthew Berry, Eric Wynalda, Tucker Max
Tony Mandarich wasn't the only person to email us about semi-offensive items on today's Deadspin. Let's do a full rundown before the weekend makes Friday a distant, foggy memory for us all....

Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....

America's Verdict On Bud Selig's Draft Performance: "Boring LOL"
Poor Bud Selig can't walk in front of a camera without inspiring a visceral sort of loathing among, well, everyone. Case in point: last night, the baseball amateur draft's primetime debut....

Tigers Draft What's Left Of Austin Wood
With the 150th pick, Detroit selects Austin Wood, the kid who threw 169 pitches in an NCAA regional. He will be optioned immediately to Dr. James Andrews' waiting room. [MLB.com]...

Matt Leinart Is Taking His Offseason Work Quite Seriously (For Real This Time)
With his career free-falling since Kurt Warner nabbed his starting quarterback job and the run of bad publicity thanks to his infamous bong-and-bimbo photos, Matt Leinart has decided to add MMA to his offseason redemption training. Oh, and Jay Glazer....

Why Scott Boras Isn't As Evil As You Think He Is
Tomorrow, Scott Boras begins the process of jimmying a record bonus out of the Nationals on behalf of Stephen Strasburg. Let's dispense with the usual frog-raining about baseball's superagent and see him for what he is: Scott Boras, labor revolutionary....

Does Mike Winters Look Like He's Kidding?
No, umpire Mike Winters was not fucking kidding you when he punched Matt Kemp out on strikes on Saturday and if you think he's fucking kidding you, then you're the one who is fucking kidding yourself....

John Sterling Still Struggling To Learn Yankees Lineup
"Voice of the Yankees" (as long as you don't own a TV) John Sterling has a made another memorable home run call. Mostly because he used his signature Alex Rodriguez-based "catchpharse" to celebrate a dinger by Hideki Matsui....

ESPN Engages In A Bit Of Time Travel
A tipster sent us this shot of the Chicago skyline from last night's Dodgers-Cubs broadcast on ESPN. Pretty, isn't it? Pretty much a lie, that is. The city hasn't looked like this since 2004, when the Sun-Times building you see at left gave way to Trump's unsightly monument to himself....

Why Rick Porcello Matters
Rick Porcello won his fifth straight start yesterday, which ensured the 20-year-old a long season of being inaptly compared to Doc Gooden. He'll probably finish the year reminding everyone of Zach Duke instead, but there's a reason to hope he doesn't, and it has to do with the amateur draft....

Savior Of Baltimore, Fantasy Teams Everywhere To Debut Friday
Matt Wieters, who is evidently a real player and not just some sad phantom haunting Yahoo fantasy rosters, will make his major league debut for Baltimore on Friday against the Tigers. "It's time," said Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail. Adjust your rosters accordingly. [Baltimor...

The Hunkification Of Mark Sanchez Begins
No one has any idea when or if Mark Sanchez might quarterback the New York Jets, so if you're going to take advantage of his god-given manliness to sell some magazines get on that now....

Brewers Fans Want Everyone To Know They Don't Like The Happy Youngster, Either
Brewers Nation has taken to the blogs to distance itself from The Happy Youngster, the entrepreneurial ballhawk and walking object lesson about the perils of being a self-branded public idiot. Amazingly, Matt Vasgersian is involved!...