mat Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Henry Is Just Making Up Offenses Now
OK. Are you sitting down? We feel like you should be sitting down. It's probably for the best if you're sitting down. Take a deep breath. Have a brandy. You ready? Cool. Here goes....
Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...
Hashmarks' Comedic Value Is Superb!
When our old friend Henry Abbott sold his baby True Hoop to ESPN, we wished him luck and begged him to never change. Other than his newfound love of press box food, we haven't noticed much that's too different than the old days, other than that wretched comments section. We're still a fan....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a urologist reveals how Smallville really got its name ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Zahir Raheem vs. Cristobal Cruz, at Tulsa. In this corner, wearing the red trunks, Bugs Bunny! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Boston. Braves return to Boston. Babe Ruth approves. [TBS] • NBA: Eastern Confe...
Your Mother Is Not Without Her Urges
If you're looking for Mother's Day coverage out there in the sports blogosphere, no one's going to do it any better than the Ladies...(.) They all asked their moms about athletes for whom they once had the hots....
About Last Night
What you missed while sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate pie ... • NHL: Oleg Saprykin cannot be contained this time of year. Senators 5, Sabres 2. • NBA: The Bulls, down 3-0 to the Pistons, can't even get all their players to show up on time. Wow. • MLB: OK, good win by Wakefield and the Red Sox....
I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....
That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....
Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Mnookin: Another Crazed Night At Fenway
Last night, Fenway Park came alive once again, in that weird, psychotic way that only Fenway Park can come alive. Even though it turned out to be the King Felix show, it still had the feel of a historic night ... well, for April, anyway....
Ichiro Vs. Dice-K, Round One
Because we grew up in the middle of a cornfield surrounded by nothing but grain silos and chubby cows, the whole Boston Red Sox/New York Yankees madness sometimes escapes us. But even we can't ignore the inherent excitement of a Dice-K vs. Ichiro matchup tonight at Fenway Park....
Which One Is Mothra Again?
On Wednesday, Daisuke Matsuzaka will make his Fenway Park debut ... and it's not just a big day for him and the Red Sox, it's also huge for the Japanese baseball fans. Because it's not only Dice-K out there; he's going to face Ichiro Suzuki. If only they could pull Hideki Matsui off the DL for a day...
The Daily Closer: Just Call Him A Good Pitcher And Leave It At That, OK?
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Buckeyes Tend To Look Old
The man on the left, Ohio State head coach That Matta, is two years younger than the man on the right, Florida coach Billy Donovan. There must be something in the water in Columbus that ages people prematurely. At this time next year, Mike Conley Jr. is going to look like Laurence Fishburne....
We Welcome Our New Ultimate Fighting Championships Overlords
The owners of Ultimate Fighting Championships want to take over the world. With their acquisition of Japan's Pride Fighting Championships now complete, they've got their eyes on the big time pay-per-view market; and you know, with savvy sports insights such as demonstrated in the quote below, how ca...
Johnnie Morton Is Some Kind of Bad-Ass
The Fighting Entertainment Group announced a press conference yesterday for some kind of a Mixed Martian Arts pay-per-view thing. I'm not very big into the MMA/Ultimate Fighting scene, so I was surprised to learn that they're now employing WWF guys and retired NFL wide receivers....
Athletes Use Internet Enough To Figure Out How To Buy Steroids, Anyway
You know that amazing catch Gary Matthews Jr. made last year, the one that inexplicably earned him a ridiculous contract in the offseason? Done through 'roids!...
Aei! It's The Gyroball! Run For Your Lives!
What is the gyroball? New pitch from outer space? Nothing but the Japanese version of a slider? A type of hamster wheel that runs our servers? A pitch that's contractually obligated to be the subject of an in-depth piece on every major sports Web site? The answers are shrouded in mystery. But Texas ...
Matt Millen Laughs At The Pain He Causes You
You know, we're starting to think that the only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust would be cockroaches, Kevin Federline and Matt Millen. And at least the cockroaches would feel kind of guilty about it....