The screencap above was taken from ESPN's fantasy homepage, which features a live-updating, scrolling box containing tweets from ESPN's various fantasy sports writers. You'll notice that the second tweet on the list, sent by Matthew Berry, looks a little odd. Who the hell is ***** Van *****?

Now, we didn't read through all of this, but we're pretty sure Matthew Berry is saying he fucked the San Francisco 49ers.

When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now.

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Mira Sorvino's reputation. Though she might be less—oh, let's say—inhibited than others, she definitely did not sleep with Matthew Berry's friend. So says Matthew Berry.

Previously, we brought your attention to The Case of Matthew Berry's Friend Hooking Up With An Oscar-Winning Actress. The response has been a hodgepodge of famous women and the amount of research that went into this project is staggering. Let's recap.

I-Team: Assemble! Today's mystery revolves around The Talented Mr. Roto's adventures In Hollywoodland. Turns out one of Matthew Berry's friends pulled a much better-looking woman than Berry thought possible, and Berry is keeping the details in a lock box.

The Talented Mr. PoonTo Returns. From an onlooker: "Matt berry is picking up on his espy escort chick about 20ft away from me.. Just got her number." Said "escort chick" is to the right, btw. Developing...

Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!

I started my Twitter account while sitting in the Twitter offices in San Francisco, interviewing Twitter head honchos Evan Williams and Biz Stone for this big feature story. I didn't know what Twitter was, though people thought I did.

Tony Mandarich wasn't the only person to email us about semi-offensive items on today's Deadspin. Let's do a full rundown before the weekend makes Friday a distant, foggy memory for us all.

Jack Kerouac led a busy life boozing, writing, bee-bopping, and banging Neal Cassady's wife, but he was also quite the nerdsworth when it came to fantasy baseball. Heavy emphasis on the "fantasy."

So a mini-spat has taken root in the world of Fantasy sports blogging. Baseball-centric site Razzball interviewed ESPN's Matthew Berry last week, but he wasn't too pleased with the results.

Jemele Hill: "Best person to party with is Matthew Berry. Don't stereotype him as some kind of geek. Berry can GO. We're both born in December and love to have fun. His liver is unflappable."[MLive]

The Big Lead hopped on this story (via Hank Brockett) earlier today about ESPN forbidding Bill Simmons from having adult entertainer/blogger/ESPN fan boy Christian, of Christian Sings the Blues (NOT ANYWHERE CLOSE TO BEING SAFE FOR WORK), in his fantasy basketball league (along with roto dungeon master Matthew Berry),…

Matthew Berry, whatever you do in this world, you've made a Midwestern boy happy this Tuesday morning. We don't believe it, at all, but you know, no matter what, it's quite the fun next chapter.