meltdowns Page 128 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A.J. Hawk's Middle Finger To His Sideline Was An Inside Joke That No Other Packer Knows Anything About
After Packers linebacker AJ Hawk flipped off his own sideline in Sunday's game against the Rams, he said it was a running joke with a couple of his teammates. Thing is, none of his teammates has come forward to admit any familiarity with this running joke....
A List Of Places Where Brett Favre Is Also Not Going, Yet
There is a special moment in the news cycle during which outlets report on things that are not happening, but that maybe could happen, but that also could not not happen because it would be so interesting if they did happen. Do you follow?...
Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...
Christian Ponder Came Out To Play Last Night, And So Did The "Ponder" Puns
Throughout the first three quarters of the Bears-Vikings game last night, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth mentioned Christian Ponder, as well as "ponder" puns, as many times as they possibly could....
ESPN Reports The Rangers Are The First Team In A Decade To Make Consecutive World Series Appearances, Is Wrong
In ESPN's words: "The Rangers become the first team in 10 years to play in back-to-back World Series." From a Google search which took .20 seconds to complete: An Oct. 22, 2009 story headlined, "They're back! Phillies advance to World Series for 2nd straight year."...
If Tom Verducci Thinks Justin Verlander Pitched Like Bob Gibson, Tom Verducci Has No Idea Who Bob Gibson Is
Look, please, for pity's sake: Justin Verlander pitched a mediocre game last night. Craggs already said his piece about the frantic efforts of the sports press corps to sculpt the pile of horse poop Verlander left on the pitcher's mound into a living, breathing unicorn. The relentlessly genial Joe P...
Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...
Who's Fatter, Josh Beckett Or Jessica Simpson?
If you were looking for a low point in the Boston Globe's ongoing coverage of the Boston Globe's version of the Boston Red Sox collapse, look no further! (We hope!) The paper now has a slideshow entitled "Did the Red Sox pack on the pounds?"...
What's The Most Dishonest Sentence In The <em>Boston Globe</em>'s Red Sox Postmortem?
There are so many nutty revelations in the Red Sox's self-serving/self-defeating exercise in blame and vengeance—and the revelations are so thoroughly unexamined by the Boston Globe reporters who wrote them down—you might think it would be hard to pick out the most ridiculous. The attacks on Adrian ...
Steve Spurrier Kicks Reporter Out Of Press Conference, Announces Dismissal Of QB Stephen Garcia, Drops The Mic
At the start of his weekly press conference today—and just about an hour before announcing that former starting QB Stephen Garcia had been dismissed from the team—South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier made an announcement to the gathered reporters. He would not, he explained, go through wit...
Kenyon Martin Would Like All Of His Haters To "Catch Full Blown AIDS And Die!"
A veteran of 11 NBA seasons, Kenyon Martin has no doubt encountered a hater or two in his travels throughout the league. One might thus assume he's conditioned himself to keep whatever negativity that gets hurled his way from truly bothering him. But one would be wrong....
Hank Williams Jr. Has Recorded A Rollicking Obama/<i>Fox & Friends</i>/ESPN Diss Track Called "Keep The Change" (Updated)
You know what's inherently lame? Country music battle songs. In aggressive country music battles, the only gauge for how "bad" someone is is how angrily they can say "America" or "U.S.A." while still maintaining a legitimate twang. Nevertheless, disgraced "Are You Ready For Some Football?" singer ...
Chris Myers Called Jared Allen "The One-Eyed Monster" On Live Television (Video)
Vikings defensive end Jared Allen got poked in the eye during the third quarter of yesterday's win over the Cardinals. The injury forced him to sit for several plays and to wear a visor to protect his face upon his return. But when Allen sacked Kevin Kolb in the fourth quarter, Chris Myers couldn'...
SprtsCntr: Stephen A. Smith Pushes The Panic Button On The Eagles
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Rider University Website: Today's Volleyball Match Is Totally Comparable To A High Holy Day
"Saturday is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement for the Jews. The Rider volleyball team will attempt to make amends for losing its last four matches when it hosts Loyola University Maryland in a Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference match, beginning at 3pm. ... The last time Rider defeated the Greyhound...
Nyjer Morgan Celebrated The Brewers' Series Win With A Double "Fuck Yeah!" Live On TBS
The triumphant Brew Crew defeated Arizona, 3-2, in extras, and hooray for them—they won their first playoff series since 1982. Accordingly, Nyjer Morgan, everyone's favorite weirdo who delivered the winning hit, got nuts on Sam Ryan's mic. Haven't you heard, TBS? You can't script October....
The Many Faces Of Bomani Jones
Paul Finebaum doing what Paul Finebaum does was too much for the Outside The Lines panel to mentally handle. Most notably, it transformed mild-mannered Bomani Jones into a cartoon character. We've screengrabbed some of his more expressive countenances, so that history will never forget....
A Hank Williams Jr. Discussion Turned ESPN's OTL Into <em>The Morton Downey Jr. Show</em>
I mean, I think this conversation was about Hank Williams Jr. It was less than a minute old when Paul Finebaum, an Alabama radio personality, said Dave Zirin had uttered the "single stupidest [statement] [he's] ever heard in the history of this program." After that, Bomani Jones made some hilariou...
Just Read The Damn Book: Welcome To The <em>Sweetness</em> Bash
Between 2003 and 2009, I wrote four books. That means, on four different occasions, I've gone through the your-book-is-out-so-pimp-it-to-the-max drill of AM local news television interviews ("So Jim, why write a book about the '87 Mets?"); call-in sports talk radio shows ("You couldn't carry Lupica'...
Caller Wants To Discuss Tigers Pitcher, Mike Francesa Hangs Up On Him Because He Doesn't Believe That Pitcher Exists
Dave in Red Bank had some thoughts on Detroit reliver Al Alburquerque, who's gotten knocked around in the ALDS and also happens to have a funny name. (I'm unable to not think of this every time.) But noted sports talk radio caricature Mike Francesa decides that someone's having a laugh at his expens...