meltdowns Page 129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Cuts Ties With Hank Williams Jr., Which Is Like The Nazis Breaking Their Non-Aggression Pact With The Soviets
Says ESPN, regarding Hank's analogizin' the other day on Fox and Friends: "We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of Monday Night Football has always been about the games and that will continue."...

Terry Francona Will Replace Tim McCarver On TV For The First Two Games Of The ALCS
Oh, don't you fret! Joe Buck is still involved. [@MLBONFOX]...

Yankees Radio Guy John Sterling Is The Saddest Man Alive
If you haven't already, I urge you to read the John Sterling profile in last Sunday's New York Times. Sterling, for the uninitiated, is the Yankees' godawful radio play-by-play guy—"Thuuuuuuh Yankees win!"—for whom some people have developed an unaccountable hipster taste, like moose antlers. (Back...

John Calipari Overlooks That Louisville Is Also Located In Kentucky, TV Reporter Too Smitten With Him To Notice (CORRECTED)
The outrage in at least one corner of the Bluegrass State today has been over Calipari's comments, beginning at the two-minute mark, in which he seems deliberately not to mention UK's in-state rivalry with Louisville. cn|2 "reporter" Will Mapes, whose station's coverage area includes Louisville, d...

The Hank Williams Jr. Intro Has Been Pulled From Tonight's <em>Monday Night Football</em>
News of the temporary (for now) HWJ absence comes via CBS Sports. You'll recall Junior compared Obama to Hitler. Oh well, let's go back to happier days, 75 pounds ago, before all these Nazi socialists started running the country....

Andy Roddick Gets A Question Andy Roddick Doesn't Like, Storms Out Of Press Conference
Andy Roddick is known for three things, basically: he is an American who can serve tennis balls at high speeds, he is married to Brooklyn Decker, and he is a rather petulant subject with the press, or simply with authority....

A Philly Radio Guy Said He Would "Take A Bike From Philadelphia To San Francisco" If The Eagles Lost
Howard Eskin has been one of Philadelphia's biggest sports radio personalities for more than 20 years. His reign as the city's self-professed "king" of the genre came to an end last month, however, when WIP switched to an FM format and his radio duties were cut back to a couple of hours on Saturday...

Mike Ditka Is Angry About The Walter Payton Book He Hasn't Read
I'd bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in yours that Mike Ditka hasn't read Jeff Pearlman's revelatory biography of Walter Payton, which was excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated and which has the Chicago media scurrying to find any old Bear willing to glower at a book he ha...

JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...

Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills
Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspap...

Dan Shaughnessy, At Approximately 10 P.M. Wednesday: "The Red Sox Season Is Not Going To End Tonight"
Here's Dan Shaughnessy, during last night's rain delay, with the Sox leading the Orioles 3-2 and the Yankees leading the Rays 7-0: "I think the Rays are not going to win tonight. I think that's the one thing that we've eliminated tonight is that the Red Sox season is not going to end tonight. They...

So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...

A Very Quick Correction To A Very Dumb Rick Reilly Column
Rick Reilly writes: "Jersey Rule No. 3: You may not wear a jersey if somebody else in your group is already wearing one. This is also known as The Fedora Rule. No two guys in any group can be wearing a fedora. The second man's fedora must be trashed, crushed or sold. You never saw Sinatra and Dean M...

The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Watch Jamie Dukes Be Totally Inappropriate With His Female NFL Network Co-Host (Video)
He bent over and asked her to take a snap from him. And it was incredibly awkward. Dukes recovered nicely and continued to make his point, but a short time later he ... asked again. And it was even more awkward. Idiot. [Midwest Sports Fans]...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"
This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad."...

The Sunday Night Football Crew Mentioned Peyton Manning 26 Times: A Compilation
The Steelers beat the Colts on a field goal in the waning moments last night, and one would think that in such a surprisingly close game, NBC's focus would remain on the field. One would be wrong. All evening, Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels would talk about the injured Peyton Manning, take a b...