meltdowns Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Rony Seikaly Looking Like A Haggard Drag Queen While DJing At Burning Man
Last year, the New York Times brought us the story of Rony Seikaly, the former Heat rebounding fiend who has since become a club DJ....

Joe Morgan Will Lead The World's Largest Chicken Dance For Cincinnati's Oktoberfest
We—all of us, here with our computers and our calculators and our Moneyballs—fired Joe Morgan from ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball last year. Poor Joe now toils in the Cincinnati Reds front office, advising Walt Jocketty on which mediocre outfielder has the most hustle. ("It might be Chris Heisey, but ...

When The DEA Raided A Texas High-School Volleyball Coach's House, They Found Steroids And Blow
Timothy Todd Porter teaches physics and astronomy and coaches volleyball at Clear Springs High School in Texas. If what Johnny Law says is true, he was also part of a drug-trafficking ring that peddled feel-goods and get-strongers to students....

A Man In "Crotchless Chaps-Style Spandex With His Genitals And Buttocks Showing" Played With Fire
There are bizarre police-beat stories, and there are really bizarre police-beat stories. This one from Seattle falls into the latter category. To wit:...

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...

Andy Roddick Totally Flipped Out Over The Court Still Being Wet At The U.S. Open (Video)
And ESPN's cameras captured much of his tirade, which was directed at tournament referee (and USTA pro circuit director) Brian Earley during Roddick's fourth-round match this afternoon against David Ferrer. The match eventually was moved to the much smaller, 584-seat Court 13, where Roddick won in a...

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN
Via Deitsch: "Been told former President George W. Bush will narrate a 2-minute opening for Fox NFL Sunday on Sept. 11 at 12PM."...

Milan Lucic To Cop Questioning Him About A Fight With His Girlfriend: "Do You Know Who I Am?"
Bruins forward Milan Lucic was not charged after allegedly having an altercation with his girlfriend the other night in which he was "highly intoxicated and hostile," according to this report in the Boston Herald. In fact, the girlfriend told police she was "adamant about not being harmed." Police ...

Apologies To Andrés Cantor, But Mountain Biking Announcers Are The Craziest
Young Briton Danny Hart obliterated the best downhill mountain bikers by nearly 12 seconds this weekend at the world championships in Champery, Switzerland. Normally, Hart's performance would soon retreat back into the shadow world that is downhill mountain biking. But no. Not this day. Not if com...

A Reminder: Rick Reilly Promised To Eat Things Stuck In Your Carpet If Peyton Manning Didn't Start Game 1
Rick Reilly, Aug. 30: "Peyton Manning will keep his streak alive. If you think he's going to miss a start because of a neck problem, you've been chugging paint thinner. This guy hasn't missed a start since 1994 at Tennessee. Do you know how long ago it was when Manning didn't start for the Colts? Go...

Listen As Mardy Fish Calls Jo-Wilfried Tsonga A "Dumbass" During Their U.S. Open Match
Fish doesn't speak French, you see. Though it was Tsonga who eventually ousted Fish, the highest-seeded American, in five sets yesterday....

ESPN's Fantasy Guru Thinks "Rapelisberger" Is Worth Having As Your QB
A reader named John helpfully screen-grabbed this tweet from ESPN fantasy expert Eric Karabell, which John said had appeared on the ESPN fantasy football page for a bit last night, at least until Karabell saw fit to delete it. Granted, Karabell was just answering a question about going with Vick or ...

Fox Sports Apologizes To "The Entire USC Community" For Segment That Singled Out USC's Asian Students
Yesterday, Fox Sports aired a segment that featured Bob Oschack giving USC students a "good, old-fashioned All-American welcome" to Colorado and Utah, the newest members of the Pac-1012. The gimmick: Oshack only interviewed Asian USC students—because in the world of misguided network television humo...

Fox Sports Does Humiliating Whiteface Routine
This is a Fox Sports segment making a joke about how schools from America's interior West are joining the previously mostly-coastal conference formerly known as the Pac-10. Students on the West Coast are not like students in Colorado and Utah, you see....

The New Grantland TV Commercial Is Flirting With You
Honestly, I think they're just fucking with us now. If you're curious, the lady's monologue is a riff from Katie Baker's Grantland debut. [SportsGrid]...

We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...

Watch As Clay Hensley Takes Out His Frustration On A Water Bucket
It was only the third inning and the Marlins were still winning, but there were still no outs when Clay Hensley hit Ruben Tejada with a pitch and walked Lucas Duda with the bases loaded. After Hensley's 1-1 pitch to David Wright nearly sailed into Wright's chest, Jack McKeon just couldn't take it an...

Yeah, Ryan Braun Is Still Hearing About His Failed Inside-The-Park Home Run Trot
Last night, it was video of Reggie Miller watching Ryan Braun of the Brewers falling face first after rounding third....

The First Announcer Flub Of The College-Football Season Arrived After Just 21:28 Of Game Time
Don't know who's in the ESPNU booth for the Louisville/Murray State game, but the guy's flat-out right. Players should not worry about play cocks, what with so much else going on in the first game of the season....

Bruce Feldman On Leaving ESPN: "In The Last Six Weeks, I've Seen What They're Capable Of" (UPDATED)
After 17 years at ESPN, where he was one of the first hires for the WWL's website once upon a time, college football writer Bruce Feldman announced today that he was leaving for a gig at CBSSports.com. He also made an appearance this morning on Dan Patrick's radio show and spoke freely about what w...