meltdowns Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stephen A. Smith's Return To Print Is Imminent?
After messy arbitration hearings with the Philadelphia Inquirer, it appears the beleaguered paper will announce the unwelcome return of ALL CAPS column-writing. Yes, Stephen A. will be "back on staff" again very, very soon, sources say. Sock? Still retired....

Al Michaels Would Like To Clear Something Up
I don't know if this was Al, a phlegmy Cris Collinsworth, or one very sick statistician, but who the hell hocked up a (presumably) gigantic loogie on air last night? Do they have spittoons in the booth? [Video via NBC]...

Everything You Need To Know About What It's Like To Do Color Analysis For Richmond Vs. Villanova
I'm sure when he says "bum" he means "hero" and when he says "end this fucking game" he means "what an exciting 4th quarter." [Bsmeddy You Tube]...

John. Cougar. Mormon Camp.
Via Spencer Hall and Shaggy Bevo comes this delightfully misplaced piece of Cougar Tail. I believe we call that positioning the Five O'Clock Cock....

We're Sorry Your Blog Won't Get Mentioned On SportsCenter Anymore
In case you hadn't noticed, ESPN has ended their morning "Blog Buzz" feature, which was their way of sweet talking the three-dimensional circle of sports blogs. They stopped broadcasting it....let's see...a little over two weeks ago. That's weird, right?...

Chip Caray Surrenders His Crown To Chris Rose As The Most Loathed Broadcaster In Baseball
And so these playoffs end much as they began: with people on the Internet calling a broadcaster a "total ass whip." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chris Rose....

Sadly, All The Clever Headline Writers Were At The Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Darren Rovell Outrage Goes Up To 11
Yes, that's the Michael McKean — David St. Hubbins! Lenny from Laverne & Shirley! — calling Darren Rovell a dick. Oh, snap. [@MJMcKean, earlier]...

Darren Rovell Is Technically Sorry; Old Canard About African Runners Lives On
Remember how CNBC's Darren Rovell went weirdly nativist yesterday, calling technical American Meb Keflezighi a "ringer" and grouching that his New York City Marathon victory shouldn't count as a real American achievement? Yeah, his bad....

Cranky, Insufferable Newspaper Boob Vs. Cranky, Insufferable Sports-Radio Boob: Who Ya Got?
The New York Post's Phil Mushnick takes off his white glove and slaps Mike Francesa right across the cheek, calling him a liar and a Jew-basher and challenging him to a footrace. [NY Post, Bob's Blitz]...

FOX Sports Sends A Message: "We Are Shameless Corporate Whores"
Obviously, the FOX television network is not known for subtlety or restraint when it comes to shilling for its various synerg-tatsic properties, but their ridiculous Avatar promos on Sunday redefined crappy product placement (for crappy products.)...

Another Macy's Miracle
This full-page ad for Phillies championship gear is apparently running in the Philadelphia Inquirer today (Update: They're awfully sorry!) even after the marketing director specifically said "Tegucigalpa Daily News." Even Brad Lidge can't save this disaster. [PhillyTalk]...

Football-Talking Person Shaun King "Let Go" By Tumultuous Company In Bristol
Apparently, this had nothing to do with him getting handsy with the wrong people either. Strictly for "performance" reasons, ESPN snitches say. Bully for Shaun....

A Breakdown Of Feigned Rivalry
It's been two whole news cycles since we found out the World Series matchup. Time for every paper in each city to take childish potshots at the other side....

Bodenheimer's "Quit Snitchin'" Memo To ESPN Employees Gets Snitched
As noted yesterday, ESPN President George Bodenheimer took up his quill on Friday and expressed "disgust" at company leaks that enable "destructive" and "unwanted" publicity and that could occasion the leaker's "immediate termination." His memo was then leaked to us....

Sean Salisbury's Lawsuit
It has arrived. The suit says Deadspin has cost Mr. Salisbury money, future employment, and mental stability due to its repeated malicious attacks, which Salisbury himself noted several times via his iPhone meltdown last month. All aboard....

Griese Taco Crack Leads To Explosive Consequences
ESPN/ABC announcer Bob Griese has been suspended from working this week's college football games, after saying on air that Juan Pablo Montoya was missing from NASCAR's leaderboard because he was "out having a taco". Whoo-hoo! Ten-day weekend! [SI/AP]...

Old Media Discussing Our Horndog Dossier With Evident Distaste
Today, Time and The New York Times weigh in with some gentle paternalistic disapproval, with the latter going to great lengths not to say the word "horndog." [Time, New York Times]...

Brooke Hundley Gets The Lewinsky Treatment
"The biggest reason this is in the news," CBSSports.com's Gregg Doyel said on CNN yesterday, apropos the Steve Phillips saga, "is because she's not real good looking." She isn't? I hadn't heard. People are usually so delicate about such things....