meltdowns Page 172 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Metaphor As Illness: Whitlock, Train Rides And The Pursuit Of "Strange Tang"
Since the deaths of Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti, the world has turned its misty eyes to the prose of Jason Whitlock, who has made sense of it all by analogizing crazily and discoursing on "strange tang" and "young tail."...

Berman Playfully Miffed Over Being Snubbed By TMZ Camera Assassins
Or is he? The "You spend 30 years in the business..." line seemed a little genuine. I wonder if Evan Longoria even knew who he was? [TMZ]...

Rick Reilly® In A One-Piece: Toothsome
Reilly® squeezes into a LZR Racer in tonight's edition of that Homecoming show no one is watching. This one features Michael Phelps and a hack columnist's left nipple. [ESPN]...

And For His Next Trick, Sun Tzu Will Write The Sequel To <i>All The Pretty Horses</i>
"The strain, my dear, the strain. I have attended wars which seemed less emotional experiences than Pony Club polo matches." Note to columnists: War is never a good analogy. Especially when you're writing about tony ponies. [Daily Mail]...

Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass
This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...

Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....

Rick Morrissey Uses Dead Baseball Scribe As A Soapbox For Blog Rant
Here's a thoroughly obnoxious column by the Chicago Tribune's Rick Morrissey in which he picks up the corpse of Jerome Holtzman and swings it in the general direction of — what else? — the blogosphere....

AP's Dumb Baseball Poll And The Durable Myth Of The Overpaid Ballplayer
The Associated Press and Knowledge Networks recently teamed up for a state-of-baseball poll that revealed nothing whatsoever except the silly dogmas of the sort of people who commission state-of-baseball polls, i.e. sportswriters....

Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....

Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]...

Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]...

Rich Eisen Thanks You For Your Concern About His Horninesss
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Hygiene Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

Oh, Jason, You've Really Gone And Done It Now...
Jason Whitlock wrote a face-slapper of a column about Serena Williams where he says things like this: "I am not fundamentally opposed to junk in the trunk, although my preference is a stuffed onion over an oozing pumpkin." Jezebels...ATTACK!...

Bill Plaschke's Unhealthy Manny Obsession
Professional grumpypants Bill Plaschke really hates Manny Ramirez. In fact, the only thing he hates more than Manny is people who refuse to hate Manny as much as he does. Why can't they see what Bill Plaschke sees?...

Next Thing You Know, They'll Play La Marseillaise For Andy Roddick
Andy Murray is British, so naturally, he's the local favorite at Wimbledon. Hey, that would make for a sappy Rick Reilly video essay, complete with "Das Deutschlandlied," the British national anthem, as background music....

The Jay Mariotti Online Express Could Be Headed Back To Chicago
The Rumor: Jay Mariotti's death wish/dream to return to the Chicagoland newspaper universe is almost complete — he's finally heading to the Chicago Tribune. It's just unfortunate that neither he nor anyone at the paper will talk about it....

Craig Carton Asks Jeniffer Capriati Naughty Questions, Media Explodes
On June 22, WFAN morning host Craig Carton asked Jennifer Capriati about threesomes, if her body is in shape, and other tawdry questions and now everyone is angry at him.[BigLead/NYP]...