men Page 203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kings GM Vlade Divac: "I'm The Dumbest Shithead In The NBA," More Or Less<em></em><em></em>
Sacramento Kings GM Vlade Divac made a blockbuster trade yesterday, shipping superstar center DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans for a sack of oranges and a Fast & Furious DVD box set. He faced the music and held a press conference this afternoon, during which he revealed that he allowed h...
The Sacramento Kings Deserve All The Failures To Come
Being a Kings fan is an exercise in managing constant, crushing disappointment. Aside from one anomalous stretch in the early 2000s, the team has never been worth a damn, and even then, their high watermark was getting owned in humiliating fashion by the Lakers. Last night’s disastrous DeMarcus Cous...
How To Keep A Healthy Distance From Your Terrible Co-Workers
One look at the way I operate around my co-workers and you’d think I’m anti-social and evil. I don’t talk to these people, I don’t let them talk to me, and I keep all group participation levels to an absolute minimum. Simply put, if I don’t have to interact with them, I don’t. I’m not evil, though. ...
Who Else Could Have Made A Play For DeMarcus Cousins?
As you surely know by now, last night the Sacramento Kings traded DeMarcus Cousins (and Omri Casspi) to the New Orleans Pelicans for rookie Buddy Hield, veterans Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, a protected 2017 first-round draft choice, and a 2017 second-round pick. Now that we know what type of...
Just What The Hell Were The Kings Thinking?
Let’s accept for a moment that DeMarcus Cousins is the rottenest asshole in the NBA, that the Sacramento Kings were never going to reach anything higher than a seventh or eighth seed with him on the roster, that Cousins was leaving in free agency as soon as he could, and that trading him now was the...
DeMarcus Cousins And His Manager Don't Know Where To Go
From DeMarcus Cousins’s manager, Andrew Rogers, after tonight’s All-Star Game and amid a flurry of trade rumors:...
Warriors Prove Their Basketball Strength By Bludgeoning Kings With Insane Third-Quarter Run
The Sacramento Kings went into halftime of tonight’s game against the Golden State Warriors with a three-point lead, all the momentum, and 24 minutes of Draymond Green-less basketball ahead of them. Instead of DeMarcus Cousins leading a valiant repeat victory, they ended up crammed in the dang toile...
Buddy Hield Ejected For Brutal Nutshot On DeMarcus Cousins
NOOO. Buddy, you can’t do that. It’ll earn you an ejection every time, and shared pain among many, many men....
Report: Disgraced Former Baylor President Ken Starr Is The Frontrunner For A Post In Trump Administration
Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr) served as president of Baylor University until the summer of 2016, when he was ousted in the wake of Baylor’s sexual assault scandal. Starr claimed to have no knowledge of the series of alleged sexual assaults committed by football players, and even as he tried to sav...
Goodbye To Javier López, The Giants' Unsung Badass<em></em>
The San Francisco Giants won three World Series between 2010 and 2014, and each was nerve-wracking in its own way. In 2010 they qualified for the postseason on the final day, and had an inordinate amount of playoff games decided by a single run; in 2012 they went down 0-2 in the NLDS and 1-3 in the ...
Holy Shit, This Willie Cauley-Stein Dunk
Kings center Willie Cauley-Stein, a young NBA player that this blog once called “butt,” has been playing the best basketball of his career in 2017. He helped the Kings beat the Boston Celtics tonight without Boogie Cousins with 14 points and a smattering of rebounds and assists, but, oh God, who car...
What Would It Look Like, Hypothetically, If A Public Figure Were Suffering The Symptoms Of Dementia?
Ronald Reagan was 69 years old at his inauguration as president in 1981, the oldest anyone had ever been on taking the office—a record that Donald Trump recently beat when he was inaugurated at age 70. Beset by concerns about his advanced age from the beginning, Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s...
DeMarcus Cousins Lost His Shit Again
On Saturday night, we all got to see the best version of DeMarcus Cousins. This is the version that, while still unable to prevent himself from screaming at the refs and picking up a technical, can singlehandedly down the Warriors with a 32-12-9. Last night, we got the bad version of Cousins....
DeMarcus Cousins Was His Best Self And The Kings Took Down The Warriors
What should have been an easy win for the Warriors became an overtime upset, courtesy of DeMarcus Cousins and the Kings....
"Steele Fucks My Mom!"
Brendan Steele is currently battling for the lead at this weekend’s Phoenix Open, and the Stadium Course at TPC Scottsdale is full of its usual cast of drunken characters....
No Team Shoots Itself In The Dick Quite Like N.C. State
“Did you watch that sweet Baylor-Kansas game last night? Frank Mason and Josh Jackson are the real deal, huh? College basketball rules, man. The tournament’s going to be so sick this year. Anyone could win!” ...
Labor Department Employees Revolt
You can now add the Labor Department to the growing list of US government agencies where workers are speaking out against their new leadership. ...
Judge Orders Stop Of Some Deportations At LAX
A federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order telling U.S. Customs and Border Protection that the agency must stop enforcing part of the Muslim ban at Los Angeles International Airport. The order, issued late Tuesday by U.S. District Judge Andre Birotte Jr., did not address the entirety o...
Sacramento's MLS Expansion Bid Is A Fiasco<em></em>
Sacramento was one of 12 cities to submit a formal application for an MLS expansion team yesterday, but they did so under mysterious circumstances. The city’s highly successful USL Pro side Sacramento Republic FC was suspiciously absent from the bid, which was handed in by a former Kevin Johnson PR ...